How Do I Get Her/Him Back?

"I HAVE to do something to get her attention"

The illusion of action.

This is when you feel as if you need to do something to create attraction or re-attract someone who left or is no longer into you.

Doing this is needy, insecure behaviour that will always lead to you getting rejected or a restraining order.

It's much better to learn to go with the flow in life. People will often try to force things that do not seem to be going well or effortlessly. 

That may be:

• Pushing a client to make a decision before they are ready
• Asking a lover to be exclusive before you’ve really gotten to know each other
• Pushing your body too hard when trying to get into shape 
• Or simply trying to force things to happen faster than it’s possible. 

There are no short cuts to success. A rose takes it’s time to bloom for a reason. You can’t over water, over fertilise, over stimulate or over expose a rose to sunlight to make it bloom faster. 

All you will do with excessive action is kill the rose.

The biggest problem with people, (especially men) is thinking they must always be doing something to grab a girl's attention. It shows how emotions can totally overpower common sense and logic.

All this is going to do is reinforce the decision that they made to push you away. 

I’ve seen guys that I’ve done phone sessions with or that have sent emails in, and they just won’t listen. 

They can’t help themselves and it leads to them getting permanently ghosted, blocked, or even in some cases, the woman threatening a restraining order if the guy doesn’t leave her alone.

You need to understand that if someone doesn't want to keep you, you shouldn't chase after them.

If they go a whole day to give blunt, short and one word responses to your texts, and is rude on top of that, and you still think contacting them some more to say how much you miss or want them will fix things, then you're stuck in a loop. 

It's like using the same failed plan over and over expecting a different result. 

You cannot behave this way in a modern society. You got to have enough self respect to recognise that if they don't want to deal with you, you don’t keep calling and texting and trying to change their mind.

This also shows you can't control your emotions because it demonstrates an inability to handle rejection maturely. 

Instead of accepting the situation and moving forward, you're stuck in a cycle of desperation, trying to force a connection where there isn't one. 

This not only pushes the other person further away but also harms your self-esteem and mental health. It's important to recognise when to let go. 

You must love in a way where the other person feels free. This cannot happen if you are smothering them with too much love and affection.

Stop being a weak pussy and learn to let go.

Fuck with people who fuck with you.

- Till next time