Black Hippy Chick Day: Adverbs

We’ve spoken about adjectivitis in the past, but adjectives have baby brothers that can become equally problematic: Adverbs. They express the “how” in a sentence:

SpanishRed ate the cupcake greedily. She was grinning madly until Bosco mischievously stole a bite. Red baulked angrily as Bosco hungrily finished his meal.

Adverbs can occasionally be helpful. (See what I did there?)

But usually (see what I did there, too?) they are signs of laziness.

If you need an adverb, it might be because you’re failing to show instead of tell. As with adjectives, adverbs often tend to be quite abstract anyway, so if you find yourself using them in every sentence, treat it as a potential red flag.

You can often tell if you’re using too many adverbs if they’re obvious to the reader. Ideally, words don’t draw attention to themselves. You want your readers to become so immersed in your work they’re no longer aware that they’re moving through words on a page. Poorly used adverbs will break through that awareness. Well-chosen adverbs will not.

Still, even adverbs that feel natural can be a sign that something’s missing from your work. There are better ways to depict hunger, vigour, and greed. The word “drool” tells you everything you need to know about such things. It’s visceral and provides a stark visual image.

Let’s look at a well-handled passage by Hemingway:

In the morning I walked down the Boulevard to the rue Soufflot for coffee and brioche. It was a fine morning. The horse-chestnut trees in the Luxembourg gardens were in bloom. There was the pleasant early-morning feeling of a hot day. I read the papers with the coffee and then smoked a cigarette. The flower-women were coming up from the market and arranging their daily stock. Students went by going up to the law school, or down to the Sorbonne. The Boulevard was busy with trams and people going to work.

You will note that there are no adverbs here, but you probably have a stark visual response to the writing. Now let’s litter adverbs all over that passage.

In the morning I walked joyfully down the Boulevard to the rue Soufflot for coffee and brioche. It was a fine morning. The horse-chestnut trees in the Luxembourg gardens were blooming brightly. There was the pleasant early-morning feeling of a hot day. I languidly read the papers with the coffee and then lazily smoked a cigarette. The flower-women were busily coming up from the market and arranging their daily stock carefully. Students went by busily going up to the law school, or down to the Sorbonne. The Boulevard was busy with trams and people hastily going to work.

I’ll hazard a guess that none of those adverbs offered you anything of value. There’s a reason for that: Hemingway annihilated the need for them by choosing his details properly in the first place.