oannablue

Gaia's Gift

A story I've been working on for a few months, off and on, is finally complete. It's way out of my comfort zone of quick and easy smutfests, but I wanted to try something new, and I hope I did a good job at this. This is set in the Morphic universe, a canon in which the Goddess of Nature decides that humanity needs to unfuck itself in the only way she knows how. It's mushy romance and world-building, with a small amount of NSFW content. I hope you enjoy!

the slow road to recovery sure is kicking my ass

i really wish i had more to show y'all! the truth is i'm still spending most of my time doing absolutely nothing because that's kinda what i have to do. the only real idea ive had this month is a choose-your-own-tf twine game, and even that has been hard to do anything on. i guess knowing that the idea interests people would be enough to motivate me to keep working on it!

i'm incredibly grateful for everyone who's continuing to support me despite the fact that i have nothing to give in return. i'm not at all upset by anyone who wants to lower or stop their pledge, i'm just glad to know that people support me!

as a reminder to anyone forgot, i have a patreon server, and more importantly, it's not just for patreons! you can join even if you're not a patreon! i say stuff more often than on patreon, and i sometimes, very rarely, post actual Content™! https://discord.gg/JJwXG9v

New location for my writing!

I spent a few days putting together a new website, and I added a nice new feature that I'm sure will be loved by anyone who doesn't like Furaffinity. It hasn't got everything my FA has, but it's got the good stuff. Hope you enjoy!

So... What do you want to see from me?

I'm stuck in this perilous situation, sitting out my life in recovery from an awful disease, with a mind desperate to create the things that people want to see. I've been writing a few small things on my Mastodon (1, 2, 3), but it often feels like I miss my mark. To make it blunt, chemo fried my sex drive, so my usual technique of just writing things that turn me on no longer really works.

Should I consider opening up commissions again? Would patreon-early grabs be interesting for you all? I know I definitely need to provide you with something, I'm feeling pretty guilty about being paid for a bunch of dust, and I'm finally healthy enough to start making again.

I'd love to hear any feedback, it's the one thing that keeps me going the most.

Thanks for continuing my support during my hospital stay!

Spending over a year in a hospital really isn't fun, but I made it. As you might imagine, I need some time to recover from the experience, so it's probably going to be a month before I'm writing again.

<3

For the time being, this will just be a tip jar

I should've done this when I first got cancer to be honest, but I've now removed all the tiers I've had in place, meaning nobody should have any false ideas for what this is. I highly recommend lowering your pledge to the lowest amount you want, because I can't promise anything else from this Patreon any time soon, or possibly ever.

So... What should I do with this Patreon?

I'm pretty definitively breaking half the rules that Patreon have now enacted, so this place could basically be shut down any moment. Should I just ignore my inevitable fate and keep going as usual? Should I make this a tip jar until it's shut down? Should I go to a Patreon competitor?

So uhhhh, why y'all still backing this Patreon page?

It's been months since I last actually posted anything or fulfilled any of my reward tiers, yet not only am I not losing many patrons, I'm gaining some too!! What is going on? Why y'all still lingering? I'm so confused?

Super cheap Anna smut!

This is going for another two days, so y'all get your smutting in before I'm back in the hospital!

Bah. It's the two month anniversary of hospitalisation, let's talk about what I've written!

The first month of being in the hospital, I wasn't exactly in the mood to write anything, for reasons I'm sure you can understand. Hospitals aren't great for creativity! But hey, after a while, I ended up getting a decent laptop, and I started feeling the urge to make a few things. Well, more specifically, Twitter banned me for a while and it helped me realise that I desperately needed a mastodon, which is now a thing I have. Anyway, thanks to the generous length limits of my particular instance, I've ended up with a lovely little outlet to write things that's far less stressful and brain-consuming than my usual methods!

So that's what this post is going to be, just a nice big list of things I've written since getting cancer and what they're about.

• Jan 27, mini: Goopy Anna TF second person lewdness 
• Jan 29, mini: Rambling about sensitive mouths that turned into a microfic
• Feb 12, small: Stuff about getting a kinky AI headmate in a world where headspaces can be virtualised 
• Feb 15, small: Part 1 of a trans girl getting picked up by the Korps 
• Feb 16, small: Fictionalised version of real events with fun barista drones
• Feb 19, medium: Let's get drone'd for cute drones
• Feb 24, medium: Direct fanart of some other good microfic, very trans feels
• Feb 28, medium: Sequel to the last (now a series being called The Listening Post)

Huh. I wrote more than I realised. That's a fair bit if you add it all together! But yeah, with how broken my mind and body are thanks to months of chemo and anemia, I can't manage much more than microfiction. That's fine though, microfic is fun!

(Side note: I'm incredibly mad at myself for definitely falling into the trap of suddenly wanting to write softer kinder cuddlier things now that I'm on HRT. I was hoping not to be such a cliche!!)

Cancer update: It's bad.

I have a rare mutation that's caused this leukemia, and it's one that makes it a lot more deadly than usual. All they can do now is hit it as hard as they can with everything they got, and hope like hell they find a good bone marrow donor match. This mutation is lethal 100% of the time unless entirely wiped out with radiation and replaced with a donor's cells, which is fun.

The intense treatment is the kind that might just kill me outright, so that's fun too. Naturally, I'm starting to make plans for what happens if I fall to the mortality statistics. The main plan is that, upon my death, Anna immediately enters the public domain, and becomes a community owned character. I highly doubt people will keep writing and drawing her forever, but I hope it goes on for a few months after my death. That's my wish.

I really hope I'll be able to survive this, but even if I do, the future becomes painfully bleak. A bone marrow transplant puts my lifespan in the toilet, and my quality of life is probably going to take a sharp turn. That's not even accounting for the chance of relapse.

Thank you for your support, everyone.

So uh, maybe I'll be out of order a little longer than i thought.

I have cancer. Specifically, acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL). I've been in the hospital pretty much this whole year so far, and there's a good chance it'll be months before I'm well enough to make it home. Needless to say, this is going to make writing unlikely at best.

I'll be keeping this patreon open for the duration of my treatment, because I know some of you still want to support me even if I'm unable to write. For that, I'm enormously grateful, but I fully understand if you cancel your pledge.

Wish me luck in surviving this thing, friends.

A new year's here, and I'm back to work! Oh. Oh wait.

So yeah, my plan to get straight back to work the moment 2019 ticked around has kinda broken. More specifically, my rib has broken. Also my ass is broken. Basically I'm in a lot of pain all the time and probably will be for a month or so. Whoops!

I have no idea when I'll be able to get back to work, or even when my chronic pain will be over. I'm really not having a fun time right now :(

Putting things on hold until January to give myself a break!

I thought I'd be able to manage getting right back to work after the monumental effort that was getting Anthology 3 out, but it turns out I still need a holiday. It's been a tradition of mine to take December off, and I'm going to be continuing that even though I have an active (heh) Patreon page now. None of you will be charged for this month's patronage!

If you still want to financially support me, the best way of doing that would be buying a copy of Anthology 3 (or maybe even getting it as a gift for someone, wink wink nudge nudge).

I'll try to get back to work in January!

Anna Harren's Anthology of Lewd Vol 3 is out today!

This took all month to package together, and without the help from all of you this past year, I wouldn't have been able to manage this in the slightest! Thanks for enabling me, friends <3

https://oannablue.itch.io/anthology-of-lewd-3

Annupdate 28: I took a much needed week off!

Although I may not have particularly deserved it, it was nice to y'know, actually stop stressing myself out for once. I even ended up taking a break from dieting for a while because the truth is I'm just this big wiggly feathered ball of stress, and it sucks. I want to say that after this week I'm all refreshed and ready to go, but that's a huge lie. Things are gonna keep being a slog for a while, and there's a good chance there won't be much coming out from me during October. This month is the calm before the storm, and that storm is Anthology 3. For reference, it took three solid weeks of proofreading and technical stuff to get Anthology 2 out in time for the December 1st release date, and this year I've written at least three times as much stuff. There's a good chance I'll need some helping hands to get through things next month.

Anyway, for the time being what matters is that y'all aren't getting anything this week (sorry!) and the next three weeks are going to be fraught with difficulties. Nothing besides the Anthology will be coming out in November.

Well, you definitely made what you want clear!

I made a Patreon-exclusive Discord server this morning. You should already be in it if your Discord account is linked, but if not, feel free to send me a message and I can sort things out for you!

Annupdate 20

This was a bad week for me. I've been nothing but depressed and stressed, with anxiety ruling over me far too much for me to write a single thing, which means I sadly have to break my streak of two months and give y'all an empty Patreon post. What's worse, I'm taking next week off because I'm busy, which means there won't be anything that week either. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things by the time the 17th rolls around.

Sorry, everyone.

Psst, brand new reward tier!

For just $10 a month, you can gain the chance to have your characters featured in my smut! I'll just be picking out a random one every time I need someone to do things with. I make no guarantees as to how often characters will show up, but it'll definitely be sometimes! You can pick out the kind of kinks you want to be involved with, along with list anything you want to avoid.

Commission slots open!

This one's early access for all you lovely patrons! Email me anna@bawk.space, DM me @oannablue, or message me here on Patreon if you want in! My prices start at €30 and go up with complexity.

Annupdate 11

Well, I'm a corpse this week. Depression is back in full force for me, and my ability to do things has gone down to zero. Last week was also not all that useful when it came to writing, due to the fact that I was on holiday all week. So yeah, not really all that much to mention here. I don't know when I'm going to get back to writing regularly, but I hope it's soon.

Hey! Who would be interested in me streaming my writing?

It's something I've always kinda wanted to do, but never really knew how to go about it. It's always seemed like something that's too private to show publicly, and hey, having a Patreon helps with that! So, who would be interested in seeing me do Patreon-only streams every once in a while?

I'm not sure what to call these any more!

So, I'm changing things up again, because it turns out that I can't both do commissions and write patreon exclusives every week without fail. This should've been obvious in hindsight, but I'm really bad at judging my own capabilities. So, I've decided to make two changes: First, I'm going to be doing these on Fridays, because it turns out I need weekends as much as everyone else does, and second, these are now going to be every other week. I'm hoping this works out better for me, because man I suck at doing stuff. Also, if anyone has any idea what I should call these things, write a comment. I'm clueless.

The other important thing I should talk about is why there was no post last week and why I haven't written anything since then. The truth is, a bunch of things happened that are going to make the near future extremely difficult. First, I'm on antidepressants now, and I know from past experience that it takes me weeks for my brain chemistry to stabilise again, and second, my mum's cancer is back. Stress like that isn't conducive to my writing.

Thank you all for your patience with me. I'm surprised none of you dropped your support after I went dark for two weeks! I hope I can get some good stuff out for y'all soon.

This Week In Anna 3: brain sucks soz

Welp, this is going to be the first barren week of many. I mean, I always knew that these were going to happen sometimes when I started this, but it's still painful to dump a big pile of nothing on my patrons. My brain is a multi-layered cocktail of various disorders and diseases, which makes every single aspect of my life far harder than it should be. Hell, even if you only take the medically diagnosed things like depression and autism, it's hard enough, but there's no doubt some anxiety disorders and maybe bipolar type II.

Something that's somehow even more painful is the fact that I had to abandon a commission because it was flat-out too difficult for me to write. I hate doing this, but it turns out the reason I only write short things is because I literally can't write anything longer. Even just something 5k words long is too much for me, the difficulty of planning and writing it grows quadratically. That really throws a wrench in any plans I had to write actual books at some point, doesn't it?

I don't know when I'll start writing again. I'm currently at the "crying myself to sleep" stage of my cycling depression, so we'll see what ends up happening.

More stuff has changed! Jeez, I sure am indecisive about my Patreon, aren't I?

At least this time most of the pledge levels are the same!

So, here's the big new stuff: I'm now going to put up exclusive writing on here, at a $2 pledge level! Why not $1? Well, let's be honest, there aren't more than 100 people out there that are interested in the kind of stuff I create, so I need to charge a little more per-person for my stuff. Sorry about that, financially overburdened friends!

Anyway, what kind of writing should you expect to see from this? Well, It's mostly stuff that would otherwise go unpublished until I bother sticking it up in an Anthology at the end of the year. So instead of just waiting for a single yearly release to publish all of these little bits of practice and fun I write, I'll be putting everything I write in a week up on Sunday! I can't really predict how reliably I'm going to write stuff, but I think I can say for certain that you'll at least see a few things you'll like every now and then!

Note that this is only the kind of stuff I'd otherwise be tucking away for Anthologies. I'm still going to have commissions and the likes be publicly available.

Let me know what you think about this! The first batch is going up tomorrow, and I'm hoping it'll be a good one to start things off!

Yikes, I am REALLY not doing well, huh?

Anyone who knows anything about me probably knows that I'm depressed. I've been depressed most of my life, to the extent where I don't actually remember any point of my life at which I was not depressed. It sucks. It reframes how you see everything, and turns every last positive aspect in your life into something hateful. It systematically destroys every piece of support you manage to build up during the rare periods where the depression quietens, meaning that every time you attempt to recover from it, you get dragged straight back down to rock bottom.

Sometimes my depression is bearable. Sometimes I can deal with the depression that I'm constantly faced with. Other times, it is all encompassing. I find it impossible to see the things I create as anything but terrible shite, and even when I have the energy to push through it and try to create something new, ideas don't even come to me. Seriously, for the past two months, barely any interesting ideas have managed to squirm their way into my head, and hell, I can't write without having things to write about.

It's not all a barren creative landscape though. There's a few things I think about writing, and the vast majority of them make me break down into tears. My favourite kind of thing to write is utopic sci-fi, and unapologetically positive queer fiction in general. The only problem with that is that the moment I'm writing about the life of a trans person, I end up feeling so jealous of them that I have to lie down and cry for a while. I'm not going to go into details here, but I've been desperately trying to gain access to HRT since I was 14, and I'm still no closer than I was back then. I vehemently loathe every aspect of myself and writing about people like me that are able to love themselves hurts too much for me to manage.

I hope I get better at this soon. I hope I can get back into writing. I hope it doesn't take me until July for me to get over this again. I just want to get back to work.

Holidays are over, it's time to get back into gear!

So, here's my favourite description of Christmas: It's an AoE attack that damages all productivity in a two week radius. It's pretty much a given that I'm not going to accomplish much over the holiday season, so at this point I don't even try. I give myself a much needed break, and let everything settle down for a while.

The point is, those times are just about over, and I absolutely need to be getting back into the whole writing thing soon! For 2018 I'm interested in trying out a proper queue, and keeping some semblance of organisation in what I do. For the longest time I've been doing fine with tweeting "hey, who wants to pay me to write them porn", but I've finally reached the point of going through everyone who is interested in that kind of thing. So, I should start formalising things!

My current plans are a place to see what my queue is, the guidelines for commissioning me, and an email for people to send commission requests to. What do you think I should be doing? Should priority for patreons be a thing? Would you like to see a Google Forms thing? How would you like to commission me?

Hey! So, what have I been up to this month?

Honestly? Not much! I've realised that one thing I am extremely good at is burning myself out with big projects, and I've noticed that for every major project I've attempted, I've needed a month of recovery afterwards just to get back into creating stuff. The Mane Event put me out of commission for over a month, but I'm hoping I can get back into the swing of things a little sooner this time around!

Anthology 2 has made more money in two weeks than Anthology 1 did in a year! I'm very glad that me selling porn can be profitable enough to be worth it, and this level of success pretty much solidifies my plan of making this a yearly thing! From now on, every December 1st going forwards, I'll be releasing a buttload of smut in the form of an Anthology. The most exciting thing about that is that I wasn't even writing for half of 2017 due to the difficulty of my move, so logically speaking I'm probably going to end up with Anthology 3 being twice as large as Anthology 2!

As we're all up in this holiday season, it's not all that likely that I'll be doing much for the rest of this year, so this is an excellent time to talk about what I'll be doing in 2018! The truth is, I'm not the kind of person who enjoys planning stuff out too much, so I honestly have no idea what I'll be up to next year. I can say what I want to accomplish, though! Probably the biggest thing I have in mind is actually finally writing a proper novel-length book, as I'm pretty confident that I can actually manage that at this point.

Apart from that, things are just going to be more of the same around here. I'll be writing smut for money, and hopefully making it better than ever before as I do so! In the end, as long as I am improving my skills over time, I'm happy with whatever happens.

Thank you all for backing me the past half year! It's been a bumpy ride, and my patreon income is still half what it was before I shut this down for a few months, but I'm glad for all of you that have stuck around! I'm looking forward to a new year and everything it brings to my life!

<3

Anthology 2: The Plan

Anna Harren's Anthology of Lewd Vol 2 is nearing completion. All stories that are going to be in it have been finished, all that remains is polishing it all up to my standards, and getting its cover art completed!

My plan for all future Anthologies is this: There will be one every year, a collection of every noteworthy piece of work I've produced in that year, and they will all release on December 1st. Why December 1st? Because that's when I released the first anthology! Yeah, I'm not inventive.

So yeah, set your calendars, because Anna Harren's Anthology of Lewd Vol 2 will be releasing on December 1st 2017, featuring 8 exclusive stories! More info to come in the next two weeks!

The Mane Event: A postmortem

Hey, I'm no longer sick! Yay! So, that makes this a good time to talk about how I feel The Mane Event after two weeks of it being out.

The Mane Event started existence as something I simply felt like writing, namely some fun way to transform someone into a pony. On the 11th of September, I asked if anyone wanted to have a commission where I turned them into a pony. To my surprise, there were far more interested people than I thought there would be. Whilst wondering who to pick, a lightbulb went off in my head: I'll just do all of them!

The mane 6 ponies felt like an obvious choice as transformation candidates, but that meant I would have to figure out which commissioner got what pony, and there would no doubt be plenty of conflicts with people wanting the same ponies. So, I set up an alternative vote based system, sent out messages, and waited for people to send back a ranked list of which pony they wanted to be turned into. Believe it or not, there was no overlap in the commissioners' top choices! Everyone wanted a different pony, and they all got what they want. I could only interest 5 people in total, so in the end, I got Twilight.

With the starting point and my destination both solidified, the next week was spent planning out one chapter of The Mane Event per day. It took a while, but I eventually had a plan, and by the next week I was ready to begin. Once again, I wrote a whole chapter of the book, once per day, until all 6 were complete. The way I write is a three-step process, though, so I needed one more week, which I spent proofreading each chapter, and also making sure the commissioners were happy with them. Over the course of that week I eventually accumulated the €150 I earned, and with that, the story was practically complete! All that was left was the technical aspects of getting it all into a book-like format (big ol' LaTeX pipeline), and I could release it. The only problem is, I instantly realised that it felt entirely unfinished without an epilogue to it, and that I had to write one. So, it was delayed by a few more days.

After everything, The Mane Event was released on the 5th of October, to wild acclaim! Just kidding, it received barely any attention from anyone who wasn't a commissioner in it, which lead me directly into a downwards spiral of depression. A mix of coming off of finishing the biggest project I've ever attempted and not even slightly getting the reception I was hoping for made me feel pretty damn bad about the whole thing. But! And that's important, so I'm starting a sentence with a but, but!! But that ended up changing! After a week or so of relatively languishing, something happened that I couldn't have expected. An extremely popular artist in the transformation circles liked The Mane Event enough to draw fanart of it and send people my way! Now, having an artist draw fanart of my stuff has been a lifelong dream of mine, so that alone is incredible. They singlehandedly doubled the amount of attention the story received, and gave me a whole ton of new watchers in the process!

So that's where I am today. The longest thing I've written is doing as well as I hoped it would, and I'll soon be on my way to writing bigger and grander things. The whole experience has been an adventure of learning, and figuring out my abilities as a writer, both of which are vital for what I want to be doing in the future. Was the experience worth it? It's true that I could've made a lot more money by doing simple commissions in that time, but in the end I'm glad I tried something different.