Brat-English Dictionary

Aftercare: When your top lets you make a wig for their dick out of freshly-plucked pubic hair and glue. I promise this will only hurt a little bit.

Top: A place for hiding the toys.

Bottom: The body part that should face the wall at all times. This is why brats walk sideways the whole time even though they didn’t do a single thing wrong, not even hide toys on the top of the fridge.

Butt plug: I bet you regret not keeping your butt facing the wall now.

Bondage: A thing that happens when you don’t run away fast enough.

Chastity: Bwahaha! Bwaaaha! Wait. I can define this… haaaaha! My cheeks hurt.

Dungeon Monitor: The Senior Adult Type Person at a party who stands still enough to stack pancakes on their head. I’m not suggesting you stack pancakes on people’s heads. I’m just telling people who would never, ever, ever do such a thing that it might have happened in a parallel universe.

Sub: The person who buries the toys in the hydrangea pot.

Dom: The person who looks for the toys in the hydrangea pot.

Domme: The person who will literally murder you with their eyes if you ever think of burying the toys in the hydrangea pot.

Brat: The person who would never, ever, EVER bury toys in a hydrangea pot.

Masochist: Brat dom.

Sadist: Well, it’s definitely not the brat, so I don’t know, Bucko.

Dom Space: The inch of couch your man gets when you’re watching The Bachelorette.

Chastity: Let me try this again—bwahaha! So what you’re saying is that you want me to voluntarily… bwaaaha!

Dungeon: Where your teddy bears and bedazzling goes before a party.

Erotic sexual denial: Stoppit. I need to rest my lips.

Erotic spanking: Lesson 1.01 on walking with your butt to the wall.

Impact play: When it’s not entirely clear which part of your body should be facing the wall.

Munch: When you eat all the biscuits.

Pegging: When your dom does the laundry.

Kinbaku: Bless you.