One Twue Way Does Legitimate Harm
Added 2024-03-21 06:39:23 +0000 UTCI have my sexual preferences and you have yours. I realise I’m stating the obvious, but apparently, it needs to be said. I’m only too happy to listen to your countertenor about discipline and servitude as long as you don’t insist it’s the only legitimate form of power exchange. I care not a jot about your standards of submission as long as you’re not denigrating mine.
The trouble with One Twue Wayists is that they don’t only sing arias about their BDSM. It’s not enough for them to hammer their own relationships together their way. They must shame ours, and that’s dangerous because those of us who’ve been in the kink community for less than five seconds might believe them.
One Twue Wayism can and does undermine the consent of people you’ll probably never meet. Just ask the thousands of subs who struggle to safe word and defend their limits.
New subs can and do feel pressured to comply with the strongest opinions they read, but those who are happy to have their own unique dynamics don’t tell other people what they should do with theirs. They don’t need to. To them, control is a lousy substitute for power exchange, and that filters into their everyday relationships, even the platonic ones. It’s the One Twue Wayists who enjoy control, and it’s toxic. All that poison makes our community necrotic.
Our community can tie up a sub on the opposite side of the world without ever meeting him. What we say matters, and judging others’ approaches to D/s is genuinely harmful.
