Avengers Vs. X-Men

[6 word request: the Twinkvengers vs the seX-Men]

Nick Fury was anxiously smoking a cigarette in a long ivory holder, tapping his heels as the Avengers entered. He flung back the long cape draped over his shoulders with a flourish, then shook his head at the skinny man in the Red, White and Blue armor strutting into the room. “You know, when I say, ‘Avengers Assemble,’ I usually expect you all to arrive immediately. You teaching your squad to be consistently late?”

“We were involved in, a, uh… another mission,” Captain America said. He threw back his narrow shoulders and tried to stand proud. Even with his armor and his shield, he still weighed just over a hundred pounds. Despite his narrow stature, he still had a commanding presence among his peers. “We came as soon as we had finished up.”

“How many of you were fucking?” Nick said, shaking his head.

Thor flipped his long blonde locks out of his face and lifted a slender arm, winking and blowing a kiss.

“Also me,” Luke Cage said, licking his full, luscious lips as he glanced over at scrawny, angel-faced Simon Williams, the ionically charged Wonder Man, who shifted uneasily at Luke’s gaze but still raised his hand.

“If it counts at all, Luke and I were together,” Simon said, dragging his feet along the ground.

Amongst the cadre of scrawny, adorable men, the scientist Bruce Banner stood out. At 5’10” and 160 pounds, he was by far the biggest man in the room--that is, until someone triggered his Hulk form, causing him to shrink down to 5’ tall with narrow shoulders and waist but a huge, luscious booty. “It took me some time to revert back to normal,” Bruce explained to Commander Fury. “Trust me, you wouldn’t like me when I’m horny.”

Nick shook his head; his metallic blue wig shimmered as it shook back and forth. “Good god, men. These are our Avengers; Earth’s Mightiest Heroes? Are we serious?”

Captain America looked back at his team of skinny prettyboys, then back at Fury. “As it’s always been. We’ve saved the world countless times, and we’ll do so again. Just tell us what the threat is and we’ll handle it.”

“Two things,” Fury said, strutting forward, his heels clicking along the metallic floor. “First of all, where is Hawkeye? That blue-eyed little beauty is mysteriously missing.”

Captain America nodded. “He’s on a leave of absence. Family problems.”

“I think you’ll find the truth is far more interesting than that,” Fury said, holding up a clicker. With one push of his thumb, a screen descended behind him with Hawkeye’s small but beautiful face staring back. Every man in the room was struck breathless by the gorgeous man, as they’d always been, despite the grim look on his face. “Hawkeye’s tracker has him headed, as best as we can surmise, to Westchester, New York.”

“The Xavier School?” Banner said, pulling off his glasses and wiping them on his shirt. “But why would he be headed there?”

A ball of light appeared in the ceiling above fury, widening into a brilliant ring of energy. As it expanded, the Avengers could see a starry expanse beyond it. Just as they recognized one of Doctor Strange’s portals, the tight swimmer’s body of the Sorcerer Supreme descended into the room wearing nothing but his iridescent speedo and his otherworldly cape billowing behind him.

“Avengers,” Strange said, addressing the group of super-powered twinks. “I’m afraid I have bad news about one of your members, the young man named Wiccan.”

“Former members,” Luke interrupted. “He went to the Xavier School to teach. Turns out his ‘mystical powers’ were mutant abilities all along, just like his mother.”

Strange shook his head. “While it’s true, the chaos magic we worried that his mother, the Scarlet Witch, was wielding too carelessly was, in fact, her own reality-warping powers, it seems the reverse is true with her son, Wiccan. Because he subconsciously feared the massive amount of power he could tap into, he altered how he expressed them. He happens to be a nexus of realities, wielding the power to alter, or destroy, everything that is.”

Wonder Man raised a hand. “Don’t the X-men have a machine that detects mutants? If Wiccan isn’t a mutant, how did he fool their machine?”

Doctor Strange, still hovering in midair, held forth his hands. A disc of light appeared, hovering in front of the men with an image of the 20 year old man named Wiccan who used to be a member of their team. “Because he desired to be a mutant rather than the nearly-omnipotent being he truly is, that desire became a reality. And what’s worse than that is, I fear a member of the X-men has manipulated Wiccan’s abilities to reshape all that is to his own desires.”

Strange snapped his fingers and the translucent image he projected changed to one of a team of massive, imposing men. They looked like gods--one, a herculean stud with a huge hammer; another, standing proud and bulging, wore armor similar to Captain America’s. Behind them all towered a green monster who looked like a half-ton of muscle.

The Avengers started at the image. Wonder Man took a step back.

“Holy shit,” Luke said, narrowing his eyes. “That’s us! I’m… I’m HUGE! Look at that bulge, man! Good god!”

Banner shook his head. “They seem to match up to us, but… Is that physically possible? How could my Hulk form be that massive?”

“A hammer?” Thor said, pulling out Mjonir, his mighty bullwhip. “Exactly what would the God of Thunder do with a hammer?” A smirk spread across his face. “Can you imagine, though, the power with which I could fuck had I all of those big beautiful muscles?”

“This is your reality,” Strange said. He snapped his fingers and a tall man with a goatee lowered into the image. “And this is mine. It appears Wiccans abilities are being manipulated. And the worst part is, I wasn’t the first to become aware of this. The Scarlet Witch was, and she shared that information with Hawkeye.”

Captain America nearly dropped his shield. “Good lord, Hawkeye’s going to take on the X-men by himself!”

“To what end, though?” Luke asked. “Is he trying to kill Wiccan or--”

“I know damned well what he’s going to do,” Fury said, slapping his cigarette holder to the floor and stomping on it. “He knows one of the X-men are behind this, so he’s going to try to take them all down. No prisoners. And he’s going to get himself killed.”

“I can have the Quinjet ready in five minutes,” Banner said, backing away.

“No need,” Strange said. “I can have us there in moments.”

*

“11… 12… 13…” 

Wiccan curled the massive barbell again and again, shocked that he was able to wield so much weight.

“Gimme three more!” growled the massive Wolverine, his enormous torso flexing and bulging each time he barked out the next rep. Wiccan, who looked to be one-fifth the size of his enormous coach, struggled to move the weight, finally let gravity win. The barbell slammed to the floor. The young man regarded the bulging biceps he’d grown since coming to train with the X-men, impressed that he was starting to fill out from his formerly slender shape.

“Damnit!” Wiccan said, kicking at the barbell. He held up two fingers and concentrated, then reached down and lifted the barbell with his pinky. “That’s right, dumb barbell. Who’s the boss now?”

Wolverine slapped the glowing weight out of the way, then grabbed Wiccan’s chin with a speed that didn’t seem possible for a man his size. “No powers in my gym, brother. You know the rules. And don’t forget that the iron is always the boss. Always.”

Wiccan stared at the shirtless X-man, whose torso looked like four solid feet of bulging, veiny, hairy muscle. He smirked. “How long until I get to be your size, Wolvie?”

Wolverine made his pecs bounce. Each one looked to be the size of a garbage can lid. “Lemme tell you,” his deep voice growled, “soon as you’re as big as me, I’ll be big as Asteroid M. You’ll never be bigger than me, brother. But doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying.” He gave Wiccan’s face a firm pat with his massive hands, then hoisted up the heavy barbell, one-arming it over his head as he walked it back to its rack.

“Go,” Wolverine said. “Eat. Rest. Get ready for tomorrow. Heavy powerlifting day.” Wiccan strutted away.

Wolverine smiled. That little dude showed up looking smaller than Wolverine’s cheat meal; seeing him starting to put on size that would make his former teammates cum in their little leather speedos was impressive. “He’ll be one hell of a beast some day,’ Wolverine said, patting his rippling turtle-shell of an abdomen.

Wolverine’s enhanced senses picked up something cutting through the air quickly before the massive blue blur came into sight. Northstar, shifting out of super-speed, appeared before him--6’5” tall and built like a brick shithouse. Wolverine looked up at the lineman-sized speedster and raised an eyebrow. “You’re spewing out panic pheromones right now, JP. What’s up?”

“I was monitoring the comm systems when the alarms went off--then went silent.” Northstar flexed his enormous shoulders, a grim look on his chiseled face. “I’ve already locked down the school, but Cyclops said to mobilize the team to cover the grounds. We can’t be too careful.”

Wolverine’s enormous fists flexed and huge blades emerged from his knuckles. “No time to suit up, then,” he said.

Wolvie hunched low, head on a swivel. “You hear that?”

Northstar tilted his head to the side. “Whistling, like…”

“Like an incoming arrow!” Wolverine thudded forward, pointing skyward. A thin projectile was at the end of its arc, aimed right at the two of them.

“It’s that piece of shit Hawkeye! JP!” Wolverine barked. “Can you knock that back the way it came?”

“Before you’re finished blinking,” Northstar said with a cocky sneer, but before he zipped into action, the arrow suddenly exploded into a burst of white light. The two covered their eyes, momentarily blinded. As they both reeled, neither saw another arrow headed their way that erupted into a glowing portal. Hawkeye, the lithe little acrobat wearing only a leather harness and some chaps, landed on the ground next to the two X-men.

“You guys make it too easy,” Hawkeye said, knocking and arrow and firing it at Northstar even before the man, who weighed three times as much as the little archer, even knew he was a target.

The head of the arrow snapped open and Northstar’s body was engulfed in blue light. Northstar’s tall, cement-dense build slowly started to inflate. Northstar disappeared in a burst of super speed, but a hundred feet away he had expanded to well over 600 pounds. One moment he was built to flip massive tires and break strongman records; the next, his cinderblock-solid physique was bloated with extra blubber. All that weight made it hard to move at super speeds. He groaned as his body blew up to a perfect sphere, leaving him naked. Only his wiggling hands and feet were exposed, his blue spandex stretching to accommodate his massive bulk.

“Bad movie, twinkie!” Wolverine roared, leaping into action, adamantium claws threatening to cut Hawkeye to ribbons. The enormous Canadian moved fast, but not faster than the arrow Hawkeye shot at him. It exploded in a cloud of smoke. Wolverine’s tank-like body plunged into the smoke--but nothing seemed to come out of it. When the mist dissipated, Hawkeye looked down at the tiny grape-sized musclehead, seeming to make a fuss on the ground but so small Hawkeye couldn’t hear the man’s cries.

“Pym particles,” Hawkeye said with a grin. “They’ll wear off by the time I’m done here. And you, porky,” Hawkeye said, pointing at Northstar, “don’t think I’m not coming back to cop a feel on that big fat ass before I leave!” He winked at Northstar, who groaned through his chubby cheeks but couldn’t get enough momentum to move in any direction.

*

Rainbow-colored energy coalesced in the front courtyard of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. It faded away, revealing the Avengers, and Doctor Strange hovering above. “I did my best to cloak us,” Strange said, still tracing sigils in the air, but there’s a very powerful presence pushing past my best defenses…”

As Doctor Strange gritted his teeth and moaned, Captain America surveyed the premises. “It’s a school day and the campus is abandoned. You think they knew we were coming?”

Luke shook his head. “No way. Hawkeye just beat us here. They’re in lockdown mode because he’s off shooting his goofy arrows somewhere.”

“I’ll fly around,” Wonder Man said, starting to glow with red ionic energy. “I can cover ground faster. I’ll make Hawkeye my prime target.”

“Good move, Wonder Man,” Captain America said as Wonder Man blasted away. “Meanwhile, we need to make contact with the X-men ASAP. I’ve been reaching out with my mind--usually that’s good enough for them, but…”

Suddenly the Avengers all groaned, grabbing at their heads as massive migraines threatened to split their heads in half.

“No!” Doctor Strange said. “It’s him! He’s the presence, he’s the one… blocking… my…”

Cyclops emerged from the school, his thick, bearish body filling his blue spandex suit to the brim and then some. He stroked his thick beard and flexed his broad shoulders as he stomped down the steps. He looked big enough to wrestle a bear, but the real power lay behind his ruby quartz goggles.

Behind him, a massive, mohawked young man floated, suspended only by his own telekinetic energy. Quentin Quire, the Omega Man, was big enough to intimidate the world’s biggest bodybuilders. The tattooed man’s body exploded with muscle. The boxy glasses on his face only accentuated the pure masculinity his engorged muscle-bod emanated.

Nearby, on the lawn, a chill hung in the air as tiny ice crystals collected into a single floating icicle. It crashed into the ground, spreading into a snowy mound that grew upward into a gigantic frozen golem. The seven-foot tall mass of ice and snow formed into a vaguely human form, with a face. Then, it spoke. “Avengers attacking without warning?” Bobby Drake, the Iceman, said. The giant ice-mammoth made the earth shake with every crunching footstep. “You think they’re mind-controlled?”

Omega Man floated toward the groaning, incapacitated little twink superheros. He raised his hands and Captain America floated into the air, looking even tinier next to the splendid hypermuscularity of Quentin’s body. “I’m scanning them right to their core,” Quentin said. He waved a hand and Captain America turned around. “Tiny little snack, isn’t he? But look at that ass.”

“Cool it, Quentin,” Cyclops said, squatting down to look at Banner’s Hulk form, who looked like a bright green ballerina of a man. “If they’re not mind-controlled, are we sure this is really them? Alternate reality maybe?”

Suddenly a blast of red ions subsumed Quentin’s enormous body. The titanic psion was knocked into the ground, leaving a sizable crater, as Wonder Man blasted in on a jet of crimson energy.

“That’s all I needed!” Doctor Strange said, suddenly free of Quentin’s mental meddling. He snapped his fingers and mystical bands formed around Quentin. A golden orb materialized around his head, effectively silencing his mental powers.

Iceman’s frozen body reshaped like liquid. Snow spread across the ground in an instant, rising in large piles around the Avengers’ bodies. Strange floated up out of its reach as the rest of the team found themselves frozen to the ground. A huge hand of ice suddenly formed, grabbing at the sorceror, but Strange let loose a blast of flame that melted it into a slushy pile.

“I’m one second from decimating you into chunks for my gainer shakes,” Cyclops said, his fists at his thick firm belly as his visor glowed bright red. “Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t?”

“We came to stop Hawkeye!” Captain America said, his face reddening at the sight of the massive musclebear who led the X-men. “We, uh… we need to stop him, and we need to talk to Wiccan. We think something serious, is… uh…”

Everyone smirked as Captain America shifted uncomfortably; clearly a part of his body was swelling, restrained by his armored costume.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Iceman said. “Cap America has a super crush on you doesn’t he Cyclops?”

“Wiccan? What’s he got to do with anything?” Cyclops asked.

As if on demand, Wiccan suddenly appeared in a burst of glowing sigils. He floated above all of them, his eyes glowing white. With a wave of his hand, the Avengers’ costumes suddenly liquefied, leaving them completely nude, their tiny little cocks exposed for everyone to see.

“Wiccan, what’s going--” Cyclops began, but a blast of mystical energy silenced him. When it faded, the enormous bear of a man stood no taller than Captain America, his bulked-up body now just a slender frame, barely five feet tall. “Wait, what… what… happened…” Cyclops said as his costume dissolved as well. He slapped a hand over his eyes as his visor vanished.

“Wiccan, what are you--” Iceman started, but suddenly the ice chipped off from his body, revealing a skinny man with a pudgy butt, as short and waifish as the Avengers and, now, Cyclops.

“You can restrain my form all you want,” Wiccan said with a haunting echo. He seemed to be addressing Doctor Strange, who fell to the ground as his cape dematerialized. “I’ve left that earthly form behind. Wiccan is my shell now.” He flexed as his body bloomed with muscle. Meanwhile, Omega Man’s body shriveled away.

“It was him,” Strange said as he fell to his knees, as did the Avengers, Cyclops and Iceman. “Quentin was the one who triggered the reality shift.”

“This is the real world now,” Wiccan said--but it was Quentin’s voice echoing from his body. “And I’ll reshape it as I see fit. You’re all lesser men, who should be worshipping my supreme power.” Wiccan glowed with golden light as he touched down, flexing his rippling muscular body. All of the little twinks crawled toward him, eager to get their slender little fingers on his massive rippling body.

“We’ve lost,” Captain America moaned. He found himself next to the twinkified Cyclops, who took his hand and kissed his cheek to comfort. Between giving Wiccan’s massive body a tongue bath, they snuck in little kisses to indulge their horny desires.

“There’s no hope, is there?” Iceman said as he fought Luke Cage to kiss the inside of Wiccan’s enormous thighs.

“Just one,” Doctor Strange said as Wiccan teabagged him with his gigantic ballsack. He didn’t want to say Hawkeye’s name aloud, but he knew Wiccan, with Omega Man’s psionic abilities, had already pulled the name from his head. Half of Doctor Strange hoped Hawkeye would save them while the other half was titillated by the idea of whatever sensuous punishment Wiccan had for him.