The end of this chapter of my life

I knew this wasn't permanent they'll never stop the pain that I felt. Last time went on I started walking in the woods by myself he had hunting trips and would be gone for weeks and he would always tell me not to message him. Everything came to a head when he invited me to go on a walk with him. We walked halfway to his house when he told me he had found another girl and was okay with us still being together if I was okay with her but I knew if anything I would just become a background character. We walked to the halfway point between his and my house and we both agreed it was better to break up. I walked slowly or maybe time just moved slowly. I turned around and looked behind me after I knew he was way away from me and I crumbled. On the side of the road where we had layed in the middle of it talking about names for kids and what we wanted in the future. Where each night had ended with a kiss and a quicky in the meadows. I knew I had tricked myself the whole time into believing it was more. The way he told me how I needed to loose weight for him to be able to hug me right. It was good til the end but it felt like pulling was off a cut. I tried to compose myself before a car drove by and I walked myself home. 30 minutes for a 2 mile walk and I never felt so week in my life. But because of him I set out a goal, everything that I didn't do with him would be my dark and dirty list of pleasure and I knew what I wanted or what I needed. He had one downfall that made me question our relationship. He was disgustingly racist. He'd shout slurs while walking and it both disturbed and disgusted me. I went on a chat site and avoided him everyday till graduation. I gave him everything he'd ever giving me back including a mp3 with all our photos. For some reason he wanted to keep it. I didn't want anything to remind me of him and he started showing off his new girl around school something he wouldn't do with me.



Bet on Black at the back Door.

I went back to Tom's friend because he was always fun in my mouth and he never said no to a smirk and a look down my shirt. I'll call him Zack and he was always my fun time. The back of the school bus, under my skirt. He'd grip my chest and slide his hands under my lace while I licked tugged and devoured him. Till he'd pull away shaking and dropping his coat on his lap. I'm still not sure why he'd waste it like that but watching him as he tried to act like nothing was happening to get people to not look, I was ready to put on a show with him. I had finally started talking to someone on the web and it really surprised me who. So I had gotten a lot of odd set up messages before. Like a man the would not show his face or let me hear his voice which I'm pretty sure was some guy trying to abduct me because he wanted to know where I live and when he could come to see me. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE IN MY FACE ON MY FACE EVERYWHERE! Or the girl trying to set her uncle up with me, she and I were the same age. Now I'll just yeet myself away from that memory. Anyways so my profile was me holding my guitar in a floor length skirt. My inbox was always full of people unwilling to show there faces which was odd for me but this time a man popped up on my phone in what looked like a suit. He was big and dark with a smile so sharp and catty. We made plans and he called me every morning and night just so I could listen and assist. He'd send me pictures and sometimes id enjoy his image between school and home. My pillows were my practice partner as id explore the web looking saucy situations and positions to try. It helped that my mom was open to me buying toys and lubes, both heated and edible. I was told to keep coke next to the bed if I planned to swallow and I was hoping I'd get to try someday. I was so excited I placed the toy next to my face with the printed photo I snuck from school. Id measure and angle and I was obsessed with trying to figure out how to fit it to the balls down my throat. Id neel at the end of the bed and angle it like he was sitting on the bed. It practice moving my body seductively and grinding on the toy. Working my way down the pillows before licking the tip and sliding it to the back of my throat. No one told me I'd have to try to breath around it.