back from the dead

I want to start with apologizing!!!

I know I've been MIA for the longest since I've made this patreon & I have tons of posts lined up to make it up before the month is up. I've been avoiding Instagram, and as a byproduct, my entire online existence because every time I open my phone, I'll read a triggering infographic or see a hate crime and it's been really eye-opening.

As many of you know, there's been a trend in anti-Asian hate crimes mostly in SF and NY... and I've been scared to walk home at night because the crimes are getting closer and closer to the downtown area where I reside. It's been nutty and terrifying and I've been opening a ton of locked doors in my heart about experiences I've trauma blocked.... but yeah. I know you guys are all here to support me but I also started this Patreon to share my work, tutorials, etc but instead I've just been in hiding and that hasn't been fair to ya'll so I'm sorry >.<

Circumstances have gotten better! I'm fearing the outside a lot less; I returned to IG today after a pretty intense emotional implosion that I publicized on my story (about the Asian American experience)... I did a 2 hour in-person panel for Melissa (the shoebrand) that was also live streamed. I'll request the entire video so I can throw it up here or at least link it once I get access. The subject was being a femme in the creative industry and everyone was a model, activist, brand owner, designer etc!!! I was the only computer oriented artist but it was exciting to share some experiences about simply existing as a woman. It was incredibly nerve wracking but I consider it practice because in April, I'll be hosting a 1 hour live stream for NYU (huge!!!)

I'm gonna be honest, I haven't done much the last few weeks, I only just returned to my computer and work the past 2 days but I'll dump some inspirations and some behind the scenes soon.

As for monthly gifts to my top tier patrons, I'm working on getting (large) high quality art prints made of the last oil painting I made!!! They are proving to cost more than I expected so I'm thinking of sending in April (for both March & April) once I finish the process. I do want to do a limited print sale for everyone else, but you'll receive early :) They'll likely be priced between $50-100 due to the scale and fulfillment so technically you get a better deal too ^___^;

ANYWAY. this is a thing I made last night in an intense spiral of work anxiety and the need to create after a 2-3 week depressive episode. yes, the reference is angel blue, the brand!

I made this in C4D and rendered in RedShift. 

Song in the background is by my good buddy Vegyn - B4 The Computer Crash (he's great if you wanna check out his music it is great study tunes)