behind the scenes of Dream

To celebrate breaking ground on the shooting of the first two music videos off Bad Ideas tomorrow night, I thought I'd post the behind the scenes for Dream! Isaac shot the covers for MTMT and Halloway, as well as the music videos for Dream and Not Over You and soon to be the videos for Crush and Bad Ideas!

At this moment I'm currently trying to stay up as late as I can because tomorrow night we begin shooting after-hours in a grocery store at 10pm, and we'll go till 6am haha. I'm feeling a mix of nervous and excited tonight! Excited because it really is so special to get to be a part of people coming together for a passion project. It goes without saying it's a passion project for me (lol), but i'm currently staying with two of the crew members and tomorrow I'll get the privilege of working with people who are first immensely talented, but secondly care greatly about the success of these videos and the project as a whole, even going so far as to let me pay for only half of the videos upfront. It's such pleasure to work with people who care so much, and it's an exciting challenge to have such limited resources and see what we as a team can pull together to make something awesome. It feels like problem solving and it's really satisfying.

Nervous because ultimately I know that no matter how cool the video as a whole is, it matters not if I don't bring absolute confidence, and absolute genuine-ness. I want to show up as "myself" (whatever that means), just have fun with it. I have so much fun on stage but I get i n t e n s e l y nervous to be on camera. and the camera sees through you, if you look even a 1% unsure, that will show up as 79% unsure. So no pressure lol. haha it's really easy to spiral about it "just be yourself or else you'll look dumb!!!!". Especially under a time crush and blah blah blah on and on. I know it's silly but when I feel like I'm spiraling about trying to "be" something, I go back to this SNL sketch. because my producer once said to me "you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it people like you." Now I say it to myself before big things because 1) it's frankly a good reminder, and 2) it makes me laugh that something so dumb and simple actually makes me feel better.

Anyway YOU're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it people LIKE you. Thanks for your support and wish me luck tomorrow!