Letting go of Peanut Butter

Hi there Patron~

How's things? Smooth and creamy? Rough and chunky? Peanut-buttery?

I'm feeling quite smooth with perhaps the occasional nutty chunk thrown in. Like the factory made the chunky version and switched over to the smooth and creamy version and I am the last in-between 'oops' batch before they can properly label them creamy again. For those who don't indulge in peanut butter, this analogy is probably completely insane. And for those who do? Most likely equally lost on how I am actually feeling. Reason why? I am, too.

But goodness if it wasn't a lovely picture.

Have you been enjoying SQG2? It is an honest to goodness fuck fest, if I do say so myself. But you may be wondering, 'where is the drama? The tension? The suspense'? I got you covered, dear patron. The groundwork is being laid ever so gently, but it should become clear soon enough.

In other news, a personal project outside of writing, I am a bit of a crafter in my spare time if you'd believe that, is nearing completion as well. Something I had been working on for ages. But, I could have done it in a month if I chipped away at it here and there... but instead decided on just leaving it sit for most of the year after an initial burst and a revisiting here and there. Something lit a fire under my pantaloons, a random thought which led from one thing to another, and I basically did a hardcore attack on the project and I am on the very precipice of completing it.

Who cares? Why does this matter? Boobs and weenies, please!

Yes, yes. Trust me, I am the same way. All the big fat milky tits and long, hard, cumming cocks, please. In my face ideally. But I feel there is a connection and this might be a rant coming on. I was mentally done with this post after the peanut butter metaphor, but the chunks are gone. We're flowing smooth and creamy baby. Just like hot jets from Zeke in the throes of it. Goodness, that guy can cum so much. Anyway! Projects off the plate, materials off the desk and back in their place, and most importantly, mental space restored.

Checklists. Responsibilities. Mental baggage. Things that weigh on the mind. Even the things you are excited about! It all affects the mental, I feel. I am an absolute criminal when it comes to starting a project and leaving it in limbo. Sometimes that limbo hits at the 95% completion mark, sometimes at the 13% mark. Experimental Medicine was a classic example of this. I hadn't touched it for years and then came back and now it, and smut writing, is a huge part of who I am. Would things have changed if I had rolled on with it then? Perhaps. Everything in its place on its schedule. But follow through with it. Just pick it up, figure out what the heck you were doing, (Editing EM has been an experience as I find the countless plot holes, mistakes, and questionable descriptions. MC has had almost 4 hands working at the same time in some scenes. Bless you all for sticking with me.) and rebuild that momentum.

If there is a project that isn't going to be revisited, and this is something I learned from Kondo Marie, instead of letting it fester (Or in her case a new piece of clothing that has been bought, but never worn sitting in your closet.) just let it go. Clean it up. Clear the space. Dismantle it. Maybe starting the project was all you needed out of that experience. In the tidying festival, sometimes the act of buying the clothing item was all you needed from it. Accept that and let it go. Don't feel you have to wear that overly tight, thin yellow sweater that you know will show off way too much of your winter weight in an unflattering way. Be proud that you bought it because at that moment you were feeling yourself and knew you could pull it off. I mean, be happy that you felt inspiration, made some plans, and maybe even got the equipment and things you needed to get the project underway.

What a relief, right? I don't have to finish this. The vision board can become a tower of things you haven't and may never accomplish. Looming over you with all its fancy ribbons and cute shit you threw on it thinking it would inspire you. Wrong. Goodness. I was absolutely haunted by a vision board for flipping years. (Happy October! Memories of it are now creeping back into my psyche... True horror.) But when I finally tore it apart and recycled it... I felt so free. A lot freer than looking at it every morning and night at the loads of things I wasn't going to do on it. Nothing like coming home from a long ass day, kicking off the heels, and seeing it remind you again and again of all the things you will never do. (Never say never, but let's face it. Crocheting just isn't in the cards for you, Michelle.) But at that time, enjoying the image of myself in front of a fire with a glass of wine and crocheting was appealing. Just not realistic for me. Maybe some day. Obviously, the memory of the vision board is clearly strong in my mind still. And this was ten years ago.

Dear lord, this rant is flying off the rails. Today is a day I can actually get some writing done, and here I am writing this instead of balls pumping liters of that good stuff. Ahhh, don't get caught on cocks cumming yet. The rant is almost there! Let's press the fast forward button.

My project is nearing completion, and it will clear space in my mind to further focus on smut and other things. You don't need to complete things to regain that mental space. Just let go of some projects and accept that starting them/imagining was going to come of those things. And be joyful that you did start it. And if regret hits that hard, know you can always start them again when the mood strikes. Just changing your point of view about it may be all it takes to mentally free up space in your heart.

So there you go. Now that was a good one. At least if felt good to write. Hopefully you didn't mind it so much and, ideally, it can help you to let go of a few things maybe you don't need to carry on the front of your precious noggin all the time. More SQG2 this week. Look forward to that!

Have a wonderful day~

Ta ta~

~Michelle