July Flash tale #2 - "Wide Awake"

It happens at night. It happens after lunch. It even happens right now on the drive along Spring Street. They’re on their way to have lunch with the Davidson’s, who have two kids of their own.

“It’ll be good. We haven’t seen them in forever.”

Luke didn’t understand any of this when it was discussed, when he was being buckled into his car-seat. But now, pacifier in his mouth, bare-footed and asleep, he understands the arrangements quite clearly. Now that he’s unconscious, he can grasp the meaning of words that were gibberish just five minutes before.

“If they ask, we’re foster to adopt, remember. Don’t over complicate things.”

He understands why they’re eating at Kilgore’s on Village Square (it’s family friendly, and besides, Dale can’t resist the fried chicken).

Because when Luke is asleep, he is his old self. His big, grown-up self. And he understands very easily that Dale, the man driving the Toyota Highlander, is not Daddy. Just like the woman in the passenger seat is not Mommy. Instead, they are Luke’s best friend and wife, respectively.

Well. Former best-friend. Ex-wife.

Asleep, Luke’s body twitches. His bare feet kick. He frowns.

When Sandy looks back, she sighs.

“Look. He must be dreaming.”

The baby is adorable.

Behind closed eyes, he sucks on his Binky. Behind closed eyes, Luke’s mind is wide awake. They tricked him, drugged and took him to a clinic, brought him back as an infant.

Against his will. A betrayal of trust.

And what did Sandy say, the first morning back at the house? “Now, I can love you, honey. Now, you’re perfect.”

But he is a man, really. He’s not supposed to be drooling in diapers, incontinent and incognizant. They stole his life.

Luke moans in his sleep.

“Bless,” says Sandy. “I wonder what he’s dreaming about?”

Luke strains and pushes at the limitations of his dream state. If can just hang on to these thoughts, this crystal-clear understanding of who’s who and where they all stand, there’s a chance he could get out of this mess. Because surely if someone’s age can be regressed, the opposite is true?

What will he say, when he brings the knowledge with him to the waking realm?

I see you. I know you. I know what you did. And it’s over.

But the dreams, real as they are in Luke’s head, leave no echo in the waking world. Something happens when he gains consciousness. His plans of revenge, his furious agenda of recrimination, falls into infantile pieces.

Sometimes, he wakes up crying; it is quickly explained away by a wet diaper or a lonely fear of the dark.

Other times, he wakes up smiling and gurgling. He is told that he is a happy baby, that he is the sweetest of boys. But the gurgles are products of a mind in pieces, the blissful smiles of ignorance. Because his knowledge of what’s happened, his understanding that his old life was stolen away for the sake of Dale and Sandy’s own happiness, has been wiped away. His wide-awake clarity is smothered by the softest and heaviest of blankets, leaving nothing but babyish thoughts and sensation.

So, is he doomed to repeat this torture, every time he falls asleep? Or will one side win? When awake, he of course doesn’t have the coherence to consider the slide in either direction.

But every night, every naptime, Luke wonders. Will this be the time he gets to bring his intelligence into the waking world? Or will he instead become forgetful in his dreams, a fuzzy cloud of babyish thoughts that stretch no further than his own hands and feet? No further than Mommy and Daddy?

Behind closed eyes, Luke is determined that it will be the former scenario. He will clutch at his adult thoughts; he will drag them into the light.

Luke feels the SUV turn a corner.

“There’s a spot.”

He is waking up.

“Oh, look! There they are, perfect timing!”

Luke opens his eyes. He watches as Sandy leaves the car, opens the side door and unbuckles his harness. “Ready for nummy-nums?” she asks him sweetly.

Luke opens his mouth to respond, the Binky falling from his lips. He smiles. Because Mommy is a pretty face, she is a happy voice and gentle touch. He tells her as much when she picks him up.

“Happy boy,” Mommy says lightly. “Mommy’s happy boy.”

Luke tells Mommy everything. He tells her about his entire world.

She laughs. “Look at you, all drooly.” She wipes his chin, and they stand by the restaurant entrance, waiting for the Davidson’s to join them.

THE END

He's pretty sure he's just a baby, until the nasty dreams where he's as big as Mommy and Daddy start. - Rick