Lilliad Concept Design

I'm taking a class on videogame design, and I reworked the first scenes of The Lilliad for a class assignment. What do you think?

The player as Lilli climbs into one of the sewer entrances, provided by the map in game. Once in, the player navigates the tunnels to make it to the slums on the edge of the city, fingering the new daggers she has just stolen from the initial level. It’s dark, and the only light is from the grates above where people dump in their waste, and the reflections in the water. The floor is rough and easy to stumble on. At first, it seems like just navigating passages, until she hears a noise coming from the water. When they search along the tunnel, they find a corpse floating in the water.

The player cannot leave the sewers until they interact with this corpse.

Interacting with the corpse causes Lilli to use great effort to pull it out of the waterway, inspect it from head to toe (face looks sickly, wrong color), (chest is swollen), (clothes mark the corpse as a former dock worker), (shoes are good). She can then take the shoes off the corpse and equip them, as she is barefooted. She will then have her footwraps in inventory. 

There is nothing else to do with the corpse, so the player can now proceed down the aqueduct. After getting a small distance away, the player will hear a cracking noise that gets louder and louder. It is interrupted by squelching and other discomforting noises. 

A cutscene appears, where Lilli turns around and grasps her nose, evidently from a stench. The camera pans to the corpse, whose distended chest is swelling and cracking. A great taloned wing breaks through the chest, spraying viscera in the area. A clawed arm emerges, and ribs start cracking open and unfolding like a flower, as two, then three arms emerge. A small grey creature quickly emerges- brandishing its six arms and two clawed wings. It quickly focuses on Lilli and screeches, making the screen and controller vibrate. 

The screen’s images become a little fuzzy, and the player will hear soft whispers in the background as the creature’s eyes seem to glow. Combat starts after Lilli struggles to pull out her new daggers from her belt. During combat, the creature will alternately terrify or whisper to Lilli in her mind- occasionally causing paralysis if the player is not quick enough to respond. The objective is now to beat this monster and get out of the sewers alive.