Chapter 4: I Will Never Date You!

Mutation (4)

It was the first day, and after becoming like this, I didn't really feel like working out hard, so I just did it half-heartedly and left.

I came impulsively without even having separate workout clothes.

Besides, I realized something.

When I'm simply walking down the street or taking the bus or subway, people don't really stare at me. People in Seoul usually aren't that interested in others. Whether I sit or stand next to them, they don't even care in situations like that. Usually, that's accepted as a kind of etiquette.

But at the gym, I felt people's eyes gradually gathering on me as time passed.

Was it just my imagination? But I felt like I made eye contact a few times through the large mirror that took up the entire wall.

I think it's much more likely that it's just my inferiority complex. I'm conscious of my condition, after all. Maybe even if they did look at me, it wasn't because of my appearance. Maybe it was because I was wearing baggy clothes like I just threw them on, and I was just taking up space while working out half-heartedly.

"Hmm."

Still, maybe it was because I ran a little after a long time. The sluggish feeling was gone.

And while working out, I was able to realize 'reality' a little more. There's a strange sense of discomfort when I move my body. It's partly because my original stamina has decreased, but more than anything, it's because of these lumps of fat on my chest.

When I was a man, I thought the bigger, the better, but now that I have them, they're quite a nuisance. It hurts even if I run a little hard, and the more I exhaust my stamina, the more I become conscious of my body.

And at the same time, it feels like my movements are getting a little more familiar, little by little. I think I understand a little why the counselor's expression brightened when I said that exercise was my hobby.

Okay. This is better than just blankly staying at home.

I should exercise little by little and quickly look for a part-time job. If I just lie around until I go back to school, things will go wrong in many ways.

I let out a small breath, and my phone vibrated.

[Want to grab a bite to eat together today?]

It was a text from Siwoo.

I chuckled.

[Class?]

[Finished.]

Then there's no reason to refuse.

Fortunately, I still had some money left over from what I had saved up right after being discharged from the military.

Siwoo paid for the last meal, so should I pay today?

*

Siwoo's house was in a place that could be considered a city center, but in terms of distance, it was located diagonally across Seoul from my house. It's not just that it's far, but there's no convenient public transportation to get there directly. The same goes for coming to my neighborhood.

So we decided to meet in the middle.

I was the first to arrive.

Siwoo spotted me from afar and quickly ran over—

"What, did you miss me?"

As soon as I saw his face, I said that, and Siwoo's brow furrowed.

"No, it's just that you're the only friend I could meet?"

"Why? Are you an outsider? You had a lot of friends in your first year."

And Siwoo's friends were also my friends. We were in the same department, to begin with.

"They all went to the military? We went after finishing the first semester, but the others went after finishing the first year or the first semester of the second year."

"Oh, was that so..."

And the military is a year and a half if it's short, and 21 months if it's long. Since we were going to take a break for almost two years anyway, Siwoo and I were the only ones in our department who enlisted right after the semester ended.

"So, you're saying that I'm the only person you can meet among the friends who have already been discharged? What about your Hubaes?"

"...Hang out with first-year students? Do you think you can easily hang out with them?"

No, those kids would be sophomores now.

...

Ah.

I see. Those first-year boys probably went to the military. There probably aren't many left, and there's not much reason for them to hang out with Seonbae.

"Do you get it now?"

Siwoo shrugged with his hands in his pockets.

"...But, why are you grinning?"

"Huh?"

I touched my face.

Ah, I'm smiling.

It's probably because of Siwoo's attitude.

I'm also human, so after getting this condition, I looked up various cases. There were people who became awkward with their families, and there were people who broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

There were also cases where friends who originally had partners stopped hanging out with them. Apparently, the 'same-sex friend who became a beauty' was seen as a kind of rival by the friend's girlfriend. Honestly, I can understand the feeling.

Even if they were just friends—there were many stories of them confessing their feelings or the relationship becoming very distant.

In summary, 'people around you whose attitude is the same before and after the condition' are surprisingly rare cases.

"It's nothing."

When I became serious, Siwoo sighed in disbelief.

His gaze lingered on my hair for a moment.

"Are you really going to grow it out?"

"Ah, this?"

Is he thinking about the conversation we had yesterday?

"I was thinking about growing it out even if you didn't say anything."

That was what I thought after seeing myself in the mirror after becoming like this.

Since I've become like this, I had the feeling of wanting to do something I've never done before. Well, if it's uncomfortable, I can just cut it then.

"Since I've become like this anyway."

"Is that so?"

Siwoo stared at me for a moment.

"You're not growing it out because of me, are you?"

"No, no."

I waved my hands and answered.

"Why, do you think I'm suddenly going to have strange thoughts? Like I'm going to wake up and suddenly run after men?"

"No, it's not that."

Even as he answered that, Siwoo's expression became subtle.

That reaction is funny again.

"So, what do you want to eat?"

"I haven't thought about anything in particular. Do you have anything you want to eat?"

I shrugged slightly.

"Then let's just walk around and think about it. It's still far from dinner time."

Siwoo answered that and walked ahead.

*

"Hey, hey."

While walking down the street, I tapped Siwoo's arm when I saw a street vendor.

"Huh?"

Siwoo, who was walking blankly, shifted his gaze at my words.

The street vendor had this written on it.

'Couples Welcome'.

It seems to be a place where you can get your fortune told and do tarot readings.

"Shall we go?"

"What?"

When I asked, Siwoo became serious.

I laughed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

Of course, I didn't really intend to go. Well, there might be cases where male and female friends pretend to be a couple and go in, but I wasn't really interested in doing things like fortune-telling or tarot readings. Well, it also says 'Male-Male Couples, Female-Female Couples Welcome', but it's also a place where you wouldn't bother lying like that with your friends.

Just... what should I say, I just wanted to ask that for some reason.

A relationship where we can joke around without any awkwardness. A relationship where we can throw jokes at each other.

The relationship with Siwoo was originally like that.

And the reaction I saw was exactly the same as usual.

"Oh, what about there?"

While I was at it, I pointed to another place.

There are many cafes on the street that is decorated in a slightly old-fashioned way.

And the cafe I pointed to also had words like 'Couples Welcome' written on it. It seems that the couple menu is a little cheaper.

Of course, this was also a joke—

"Hmm?"

Siwoo reacted.

"Oh, why? Are you really going?"

"No, it's also cold."

When I looked at Siwoo with a frown, Siwoo smiled.

I pushed Siwoo as if hitting him.

"Let's go to a normal cafe quietly."

"Let's do that."

Siwoo answered as I grumbled.

We went to a normal franchise cafe without couple discounts while bickering like that.

And inside that cafe, we decided on meat for dinner without any problems.

*

I was able to safely pay for the meal today.

I quickly swiped my card while Siwoo went to the bathroom for a moment.

"No, I'm going to pay."

"I have money too."

"...It's for the first month's rent you paid."

"I'll use that for my room lodging fee."

"You're going to continue to lodge...?"

When I replied without thinking, Siwoo looked at me with wide eyes.

"Why? Can't I? Now that it's come to this? We used the same room for the first two weeks of the second semester."

"No..."

"Did you really get a girlfriend? Then I can't help it."

"No, it's not that."

Haa, Siwoo sighed.

"Okay, do as you please."

"Yeah, yeah. You think that's faster too, right? How many times would I have to buy you meals if I paid with the meal money?"

Siwoo finally chuckled at my words.

"How's your schedule tomorrow? After class."

"I don't really have anything to do. I quit my part-time job a while ago."

"Is that so?"

I looked up at Siwoo and said.

"Then hang out with me tomorrow too. You at least have classes to attend, but I really have nothing to do."

"Should I?"

While Siwoo was answering, the bus that Siwoo was going to take arrived.

"Contact me at a reasonable time. Maybe around the same time as today would be good."

Siwoo waved his hand and got on the bus.

I stared at the back of that bus for a moment and turned around.

...I should go back too.

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