D&D Court Submissions!
Added 2025-04-08 00:55:37 +0000 UTCIt's that time of the month!
Supreme Crit is getting ready to convene, and we're looking for your tabletop quarrels and controversies!!
Please share a BRIEF description of the scandal or disagreement that rocked your ttrpg table, and we will mete out our swiftest justice.
<3 you all,
Bailiff Emily
Comments
To the high priests of Dice Christ, and altar baby boy Jork. I point my toes to each other and hold my hands behind my back, hanging my head in shame. The campaign I’m in plays with Pathfinder 2e, and we are currently on a journey to save our logging village from being encapsulated by a wall of ghosts and horror. On this journey, we’ve fought many a battle! And had several close encounters, as our rolls are very commonly low, be it damage or ability checks. We were escorting a young woman who had turned out to be a humanoid head that decaptiates its prey, and reattaches itself to the body of the victim. I play a Summoner who serves as the meat shield for the team, and that encounter alone had me down to 1 HP. I did not have my eidolon present, so I asked my DM if I could summon my emotional support rock, and cast Lifelink Surge. It is guaranteed healing for 4 rounds (6 each round at my level), and out of combat I had assumed we had downtime. Such is the source of shame. I added 6 more hit points to my character’s health, and my team had more exploring in the area to do, as such we encountered 4 possessed burning monk zombies and our next encounter began. I felt my little rat folk character was on its last legs, and I had 3 more rounds of lifelink surge left, but one zombie came up to me and used a screaming ability that inflicts burning unless you roll a critical success in the saving throw. Your holinesses, I did it. And it was INCREDIBLY hype, as it was flavored that I screamed back to block out their cries from hell. The combat only lasted a couple of rounds with a few interesting successes, and we got to recuperate after. My shame lies not with the crit success but with the downtime heal that I applied in our brief moment out of combat. Was I wrong to apply it without letting my DM know? I am willing to accept any judgement, and any advice on how to handle downtime. Thank you.
radi (Josh!)
2025-04-25 13:23:52 +0000 UTCTo the illustrious judges and the insolent bailiff, I present the case of the timid villain. Several years ago I was in a Curse of Strahd campaign with a group of close friends. It was a gritty and intense campaign, with lots of player character deaths. Towards the end of our campaign our DM announced that the rest of the party, aside from my character (a fortune telling divination wizard named Nadia) was transported to an alternate reality in which Nadia was the BBG. He then told me that I would be playing a beefed up version of my pc for this session; he explained that Nadia was level 20, had access to any wizard spell, could choose any number for her portent rolls, was evil, and wanted to kill the party. I was surprised but delighted by the impromptu pvp and the opportunity to play a villain, and the rest of the party engaged with the idea immediately. We rolled initiative and I went first. I spent a moment thinking about what to do, and it hit me; I would cast feeblemind on Magpie, our party’s cleric, and use my portent rolls to force her to fail the save. No one else in the party had any capability to heal or fix her. It was a diabolical move, and I knew it was exactly the first thing an evil version of my pc would do. But there was a problem. All these players were my friends. The girl playing Magpie had been in my wedding party, along with her in-game boyfriend, our party’s barbarian. The thought of doing something so nasty to my friend’s pc was horrifying, so I asked our DM if this was just some kind of dream sequence where consequences wouldn’t matter, or if my evil pc’s actions would have lasting in-game consequences. If I mentally crippled Magpie, then even if this evil version of Nadia died… would my friend’s beloved pc that she had played since day one of our campaign just be permanently crippled? Or what if I cast Finger of Death on my husband’s pc and forced a portent fail, would his character actually die? Our DM shrugged and said, “You’ll find out.” This sent me into a panic, and I agonized over what to do. It seemed like our DM had created this emotional, cinematic fight, and I really wanted to be a good villain. I explained my concerns to the DM and mentioned that I was thinking of feebleminding someone, but again he just said “You’ll find out.” I’m ashamed to say that I chickened out of my villainous plan and just spent the whole fight casting low-level spells and targeting our party’s beefy melee characters with things that wouldn’t really hurt them. After a long and boring combat, evil Nadia was destroyed and all the other party members were bloody but okay. Our DM then narrated how the pcs returned to their version of Barovia, with Nadia having experienced none of the situation. We ended the session there and successfully continued on through the campaign, but my uncertainty in that session has always haunted me. Justices, should I have acted like a ruthless villain and tried to kill/debilitate my friends, or was I justified in chickening out and not wanting to hurt my fellow party members? Should my DM have given me more inside information about this harrowing situation?
Jordan S
2025-04-20 02:53:36 +0000 UTCI have a dice christ confession. I shamelessly ignored 50 percent or more of my dice rolls as a dm to reflect what was most narratively satisfying. I knew I couldn't do it all the time and to keep the illusion of honesty I'd fake rolls that weren't in favor of the plot. No one ever knew although I think my husband suspected. I don't feel bad either. We had a lot of fun. Is that awful? I guess I'm seeking forgiveness. I don't feel like dice christ has punished this behavior in the least tbh.
Ashlyn Bonnett
2025-04-17 22:00:20 +0000 UTCTo them good Ole judges and the crunchiest of cheese curds of a baliff. I present to thee the case of Newish DM vs even newer aquantense. I have had few long running campaigns especially in the beginning of my years of play. On one such instance of starting a Campaign of exploration and wonder. The party I had Started DMing for was to search for a creature and study it movements. Said creature was in Google image search terms the flying fox d&d. A group of monks had promised great reward to the party if they could successfully get detailed observations of said creature. The party obliged and made out to different sectors of the jungle in order to observe and complete the objective at hand. One such member decided observations was not the only thing that could be done. Instead opting to poach the Flying Fox and bring it back to the monks would be just fine. I stated that wasn't really part of the monks objectives. The other members of the party noticing my panic at this strange twist of plans said there characters were to stop him from killing the creature. On strength checks which they had passed being 3 to 1 they subdued the would be killer of the flying fox. Player semi immediately opted out of playing the game. To the court I ask. Was it wrong for me not to let this new acquaintance have his murderous fun in the sun. Should I have argued for my other part of the party to not subdue him so fast.
Garrett Grosser (one big curd)
2025-04-16 13:27:05 +0000 UTCTo the supremely justifiable justified judges and the not so justifiably but ever-presently wormy and trollifiably bailiff, I present you the case of joke gone too far. I play at a small table with my friends that really plays whenever we have time (not often). We were set on a mission to find lost goblins who has gone missing in a nearby mine. We were on a path when we were stopped by 2 “guards”. One of my friends being more outgoing attempted to befriend the guards and proceeded to say, “Have you guys seen any mine-goblins?” The guards responded no and he bursts out saying “Mine-goblin deez nuts!” The table bursts out laughing and the DM rolls to see how well the guards can take a joke. Apparently he rolled poorly because the guards were mad. My friend then proceeded to try to “faint” and act like he was dying or something. The table thought it was a bad idea but it was too late. The dm gleefully said that the guards grabbed him and were going to take him to a nearby jail. The party them spent the next 3 sessions trying to jailbreak him, while he sat there rather stone faced and bored. Judges, was this the fault of our joking bard or was the harsh punishment of jail time from the dm too extensive. I sit in my little froggy chair slurping my slushee obnoxiously loudly awaiting your justifiably justified just justification.
Beluga
2025-04-14 04:47:59 +0000 UTCTo the Squishy yet Firm justices and the wriggling worm on the floor next to the balif's seat. I present the case of the Trifling Trio I play alternating sunday games at my local card shop, im playing a level 8 Halfling Rogue/Paladin The game is fine, it alternates between being completely directionless and entirely on rails, which i have learned to accept because i like the people I play with but recently, three high school boys have joined our table and are ruining the experience for everyone. they constantly speak over others, initiate PVP, essentially refuse to learn their character sheets and the store ower has repeatedly spoken to them about their behavior with no change. One of them in particular has attacked the party at LEAST once per session since joining they havent been removed because on of them is the son of the DM and the other two are his friends. Justices, am i justified in ditching this table for greener pastures? or should I stick it out and chronicle this game's descent into madness
The Bard
2025-04-13 18:10:27 +0000 UTCThe the goblin justices and the wife worm bayliff, I do not have advice case, but I ask you to give me some advice I play Iggy a hobgoblin circle of wildfire Druid who is an accidental arsonist in a wild beyond the Witchlight campaign, who got his reflection stolen by a witch/hag. He met some hobgoblins on the way to the witches hut who gave him a broach of a hobgoblin god and now I ask you If I were to multi class into cleric, should I go light domain for fireball and other spells, or once my character gets his reflection back, should I go trickery domain to have his reflection fuck around I will devote Iggy to whatever advice you give, many thanks
Bubbalo Dee
2025-04-13 05:18:10 +0000 UTCTo the celebrated justices Murphy, Tanner, and Hurwitz, and the chic bailiff Emily, I present the Case of Christina’s Ceratotherium Contingency, My party just played an arc-finale battle in which we fought one of our PC’s elvin wizard father and annoying bitch cousin, Christina. In the second round, my character brought Christina from somewhere above 10 hit points to zero (rolled 29 damage), at which time a "Contingency" spell she had seemingly cast before battle was triggered to polymorph her into a rhinoceros with full polymorph hit points. The contingency she set was to polymorph once she was brought below ten hit points. However, the language of polymorph specifically states that “the spell has no effect on a creature with zero hit points”. My party briefly argued that damage happens all at once, not point-by-point, and thus the contingency would not have been triggered, since she went from +10 HP to zero, and was never technically at or below 10. Our DM was unmoved and we and continued on with a fun battle, but I humbly ask the court, was Christina’s Ceratotherium Contingency kosher, or should Christina have been KO’d.
Kristyn McClure
2025-04-12 20:53:32 +0000 UTCTo the honorable justices and the plucky bailiff Axeford (you’ve got this, I believe in you!), I humbly lay before you the case of the Backstory Trial at the Hague. My friend of several years had a story he was excited to tell, set in a world with a recent devastating war between traditionally “good” people (elves, humans, dwarves, etc) and “monstrous” people. We were to be members of a guard/defense force in a major city, and he had pre-written all our backstories for us. He said we had been squires and apprentices for heroes from the last war who had operated behind enemy lines, and pitched it as “sort of like Teen Titans to the Justice League”. We weren’t crazy about the idea of ceding control of our characters’ origins, but we agreed because he seemed pumped about the story. The campaign started out fun, with a police procedural vibe and the sort of violent, irresponsible antics that make a D&D game a great time with friends. At one point we met up with a paladin who had been one of our backstory mentors, and the DM described an incident wherein we had taken out an objective that was hidden in an enemy village. Once the objective was destroyed, he described how the paladin had leaned in and told us “leave no witnesses,” and we had burned down the village and killed all the inhabitants. A confused hush descended over the table. After a moment, one of us said “oh my god, we were child soldiers in a genocide!” Another person added, “I guess this does explain why we’re kind of fucked up people.” The DM got visibly upset, and said we were taking it all wrong and that we were the good guys. We retorted that what he had described was a war crime, and we were pretty sure the paladin should have fallen over it. I think the DM’s feelings were genuinely hurt, and he never backed down from his position. The campaign ended a few sessions after this for several reasons, not all related to this. I ask the court, were we in the wrong to object to the DM’s interpretation of events after we had already agreed to him writing our backstories? P.S. In a subsequent campaign, the DM played a character he described as a moral paragon light side jedi. When asked what he had been doing in between when he left the jedi order and the start of the campaign, he said probably some high profile robberies and freelance assassinations for the Hutt space mafia. This led to a lengthy discussion. PPS. The next time this person DMed, we all played cartoonishly evil villain characters, and it was an amazing mini campaign and some of the most fun we’ve ever had.
RekkingCrew
2025-04-10 03:33:03 +0000 UTCTo the wise court: Congrats on your promotion, Emily! Sorry about your demotion, Jake. I present to you the case of the Awkward Oathbreaker: I play in an online game as an Oath of Devotion paladin. My character believes that kindness is the most important thing in the world and is pretty much a cinnamon roll. Recently, we were exploring an underground cave when we came across a locked door. We happily pick the lock and enter, dodging a couple traps and finding some loot, when we get attacked by some drow. I jump into action to protect my friends, and knock out a drow to question him. After we tie him up, we get attacked by another wave of drow. They untie the prisoner and we have to kill him. Darn. We make a plan to disguise ourselves as drow prisoners. Another wave attacks. Darn. One character races ahead to attack because he doesn't want to wait for another wave. Darn. I try talking to some of the drow we're fighting. They call me a "filthy sun-licker" and attack me. Darn. I'm pretty stumped at this point since it seemed like we tried everything but the DM just wanted to run a six-hour combat... After the session, the DM asked the discord "how everyone felt about breaking into this stronghold unprovoked and slaughtering everyone inside without cause." He also asked if "anyone broke their oath." And I'm the only Paladin in the group! I ask the court: Was I in the wrong for not halting combat to play the part of the pacifist paladin, or was I correct to just start slashing?
Noah Fence
2025-04-10 03:14:24 +0000 UTC
