Calling all Court Cases!

To the justices who are okay I guess and the bailiff who I am obligated to be nice to because he chooses the cases I bring to you the case of my shit brother and my unhinged paladin I was playing in a session 1 of a new campaign my friend was running with my brother and a few friends, I played a paladin whose name is Gabriel who has a god complex and made an oath to himself. My brother plays a rogue kenku named krash. The dm started explaining the characters and the setting we were in and all was going smoothly until he said the plot hook. My brother decided krash wouldn’t be interested in the campaign and instead tried to rob me. I caught him due to a nat 20 perception check and he tried to run away from the party and leave the campaign entirely. I saw that the dm started to panic a little so I decided to grapple krash and essentially kidnap him in order to keep the party together. My reasoning in character was to force krash to atone for his sins against me which my brother thought was a fun dynamic and was on board with. after the session however one of the other players in the campaign approached me and accused me of hogging the spotlight. I fear I may have overstepped my boundary as a player by trying to bring the campaign back on track. Should I have left that to the dm to figure out? I leave myself in the hands of the court

Noah Steele

you were blatantly afflicted with the poisoned condition after going out of your way to lick everything, how do you see a problem with that

Summer Tribe

To the glorious High Priests and Priestess of Dice Christ, Axford, Murphy, and Tanner, as well as adjectiveless altar boy Jake, I beg you to hear my confession and absolve me of my wrongdoings, for I have committed the most grievous of sins: metagaming. I recently applied to several online D&D groups and, much to my surprise, was accepted into not one, but two. I soon discovered that both campaigns were going to be using the Lost Mines of Phandelver module: one strictly by the book, the other with added homebrew. The first campaign began, and all was well—our party, including my freshly graduated paladin intern, snuck into a cave full of goblins to rescue an NPC. We found the NPC in a chamber full of goblins, but before we could react, one goblin dangled the NPC over the edge of a cliff and threatened to drop him unless we overthrew the bugbear who ruled the cave. We obliged, and then, after a brief standoff due to our kleptomaniac cleric trying to steal a statue of a jade frog, we left in peace. As I said, all was well. Then, the next day, the second campaign began, and I found myself back in that same cave, albeit as an eladrin druid this time. Wanting to try something different and not repeat the exact same encounters, I spearheaded a more aggressive plan. I fey stepped up to the top of the cliff and held my scimitar across the head goblin’s throat, to hold him hostage. The goblin pulled away somehow, which led me to push him off the cliff, beginning a very close battle. A hasty exit and a few death saving throws later, we managed to escape with the unconscious but still alive NPC. Dice Christ may have already taken His toll, as during that session I wasted one of my two spell slots on a carriage driver who had been shot by the goblins and turned out to be fully dead, not healable dead, as well as having to endure listening to one player seriously and noncomedically consider eating a captured goblin whole. Additionally, the first campaign has fallen apart due to scheduling issues, so I will no longer have the temptation of knowing what is to come. However, I lay myself down at your feet and willingly submit to any and all penances asked of me if it means that I may one day I rest in the Dice Bag of Dice Christ. In the name of the Twenty, and of the One, and of the Rolling Spirit, amen.

Lorelei G.

In our last session our DM had us fighting a rakshasa at the end of an arc, but he had ruled that all spell effects didn’t work on him, even those of summoned creatures or buffs that enhanced weapons. I’ve never seen it ruled this way before, with the ones I’ve fought in other games usually just being immune to direct effects (fireball, banish, etc) and with 3/5 of our party being pure spellcasters it felt unfairly tilted towards the boss even if there was a narrative reason. Am I justified in feeling a little bitter?

Abraham

To the Critically Acclaimed Judges and the honourably mentioned Bailiff, may it please the court; Years ago, I had a DM who tpk'd us (minus one absent player) because we kept walking down a dark hallway. We were in a seven deadly sins themed 3.5e campaign, and we were approaching the Sloth Temple. The groundskeeper pointed out the super obvious entrance to us, then bc of our continued conversation with him, mentioned that there was a back service entrance that went more directly to the Target Location, but there was no possibility of lighting our way. We asked multiple times if there was anything else we needed to know about this entrance, but we all failed our insight checks. We did not want to metagame knowing that we had all failed our insight checks. The stairs led down into pitch blackness. As we descended, our dm narrated the different ways in which we were all struck with dread. Each of us roleplayed in-character reasons and ways to dig deep, face our fears, and keep going. For example, my pc was terrified of being alone, the darkness made her feel terribly isolated and alone, so she clung to her wolf familiar to remind herself she wasn't alone. The dm asked us if we kept going. We felt it was existentially urgent we get to the Target Location, so we chose to be brave and keep going. It was, after all, a straight hallway and the only indications that we should turn around was the oppressive darkness and how scared we felt. We were then informed we had died and needed to roll new characters. There was no in-game mechanic to explain how we died. We were told that we had selected the "easier path" and that meant we had been lazy, thus falling into the sloth trap. Our party argued that descending into darkness was harder psychologically for our pcs than the obvious front door was. We had already done several other temple puzzles of that ilk with little difficulty, and therefore thought the obviousness of the front door was suspicious compared to the terrifying descent with no visible monsters for our scrappy party to fight. The DM is always right, however, so we all rolled new pcs, who joined the sole remaining original party member (who had been absent) for the rest of the campaign. Tldr, we literally continued walking into scary darkness until we were informed we had died. This cause of death has always sat crooked in my mind-hole. Was this a case of a DM not being descriptive enough or not bothering to find mechanics (like exhaustion) to explain how we died? Or were we wrong to think that roleplay challenges can make things harder than puzzles/combat? We were a very RP embracing group, and this felt like not noticing we were walking into oblivion is a crappy way to go. P.s. the last original PC ended up ascending into godhood by walking up stairs that literally encased the bodies of his fallen comrades, which included our second set of PCs who had been slain during the course of the final confrontation. This was inspired by Berserk, the god-PC was literally named Griffith. Should we have seen this coming? Was our DM killing us just to torture Griffith? Were we lambs to the slaughter all along?

Martian Maneater

To the Highest, Most Esteemed Judges and the Noble Bailiff, I am seeking your powerful council in the case of the Nerfed Hydra. I play a 12th level volcano druid in our pathfinder campaign. I confirmed with my DM that instead of a standard animal companion, I could have a magical beast cohort. I chose a 5 headed Pyro Hydra named Steeeeevs (one E for each head). My DM approved this, on the stipulation that we nerf his ability to regrow heads. He is still a full grown Hydra and is a Big target. In the encounters that Steeeeevs is involved in (which isn't every encounter due to some interdimensional travel), my DM attacks him first. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that since he cant grow more heads, Steeeeevs has a super low HP of only 70. This includes a belt to buff his Con and very expensive mythril armor, plus he can only regain 5 HP a round. I don't mind that we nerfed some of his abilities because I don't want encounters to not be fun, I'd just like Steeeeevs to be tougher. When I brought this to my DM, he said he didn't realize I'd be using my Hydra in combat so much because that isn't how my DM plays animal companions. While he likes Steeeeevs as comedic relief, he takes umbridge with having him involved in combat. I'm not asking for better attacks, just for us to give him some feats to make him tougher but my DM won't let me. Am I being too greedy in wanting Steeeeevs to have a fair shake in combat, or is my DM right to refuse my request because it's his world and he gets to decide how animal companions are played? I do have a plan if he refuses, because he said at the table that technically Steeeeevs has 5 neck slots. I humbly await your judgement.

Stephanie F

The the virile and powerful Supreme Crit Justices and the super jacked Bailiff Jake, I come bearing what is arguably a champagne problem. After many years of work, I have built a steady stable of players out of my rugby team, and after a long two and a half years we moved on from an epic 1-20 Ravnica/planescape adventure to a brand new eberron joint. One of my players even decided he wanted to try his hand at DMing! However, with 14 bodies wanting to play, we decided we could split the load and run two games in the same universe. This went well for two sessions, before my co-dm decided he wanted to run one big session, and I acquiesced. It was kind of a shit show. Turns took forever, and he didn’t prep as much as he thought he did, so by the second round of combat he’d lost the plot entirely. After 5 hours of this, we finally finished the singular combat we had planned, and everyone was done for the night. The problem is, he wants to keep it one big 10/12 player session, and take the reins entirely. However, he’s openly admitted that he doesn’t really plan, and he just tries to go with the flow. I’ve tried to nudge him in the right direction and even offered to split the load again to help right the ship, but he’s adamant about wanting to have the one big sesh. The group is hemorrhaging players and I selfishly feel like the push for one huge party like session with drinking and coke is splintering the group we worked hard to build. Am I in justified in attempting to push back against the One Big Sesh or should I sit back and let the current sitting DM run the game he wants, to the detriment of a almost half the group?

Christopher Zeller

Hear me my dear, valiant Bailiff and a quiet howdy to the others, may I present to you: The Case of the Wizard Wanker. My childhood friends and I run a campaign in which we roleplay as ourselves, mysteriously transported into a 5e setting similar to Faerun. We fought together, blood, sweat, and tears to be able to feed ourselves and clawed our way to gain status and save multiple realms in this world. However, time and time again, our wizard has gone off on his own to get up to his nefarious crafts. He’s lost an arm, needing to be saved from a necromancer, makes dealings with his former mentor who has known ties to the bbeg, and continues to jeopardize the party’s wellbeing. There have been times where my character may have laid hands on his character over things he has said and done, i.e. treating the people in this world, our party included, as NPCs. This all came to a boiling point when my adult red dragon companion was dragged into hell and turned against us. We slew him in a huge battle outside our wizard’s keep and after combat, I begged for him to be revived. Our wizard(with some cleric levels) retorted, “He was on my kill list anyway.” Enraged, I downed him, erupting into huge conflict in game and at the table, nobody, party or DM, took sides at the table, but all agreed that his alignment should have shifted long ago and that his repeated actions are a direct conflict for the party. I have since apologized both in and out of character for every instance i’ve struck him. But he has yet to show any remorse for his actions. So I humbly ask you oh mighty, massive bailiff—and company—have I repented for my sin of striking a minor(in-game mind you), did he deserve it? how should you punish us? I graciously await your ever-noble response.

To the Honerable Supreme Crit Justices and the beloved Bailiff Jake; may it please the court. Am I being unjustly targeted? I am playing a gunfighter in a campaign with my cousins. Previous, at level 7 I was the only member to survive a TPK and chased my party members into the underworld through a portal the DM made. Our DM used this opertunity to rebalance our characters as our druid was OP and breaking the game. I was able to keep all of my stats because I didn't die. But ever since I have been heavily targeted by all enemies, during a surprise round I killed a knight using my 2 attacks and my off hand. The other 4 knights proceeded to shoot me twice each with there short crossbows almost killing me. I argued the knights can't fire twice in 1 round because they require a loading action. The DM said it's fair because I get to fire my gun multiple times in 1 round. Our session ended in the middle of combat because we hit our time limit. I still might die when we resume our session next week. Is this fair or am I being unjustly punished for surviving the TPK? I awake your judgement.

Praise be to Dice Christ and ever reverence to our esteemed clergy I have a confession. In our last session me and my party were battling through Avernus and came across a fight where there were literally upwards of 7 Raksasha. Knowing them in meta my butthole puckered right up. There resistance to spells of 6th level and lower being no joke, although we do lean martial heavy. Imagine my surprise when our wizard pulls off a beautiful Steel Wind Strike, knocking most of them down at that point. We are not high enough level for anything above 6th, so I knew it should not work, but the DM let it go through. This occurred for a few other instances, with even cantrips being a hearty help. Here is where I fall on my knees in genuflection to Dice Christ. No time in this did I ever mention it to the DM, with the reasoning of I cast no spells as a barbarian, not wanting to be a yellow-bellied table tattler, and it would be meta for me to know anyways. That said, in my heart I know the real reason is I didn't wanna be a drag, and wanted our wizard to have his dope anime magic samurai slice. So I ask upon Dice Christ to forgive my wicked soul and I am willing to take as many natural 1 death saves in my atonement. May nat20's be with you

Brooks Estes

May it please the Terryifying justices and the "just-kinda-meh" bailiff; my party fought an odopi in an airship filled with one of the character's family, and it teleported into a room with his estranged brother, killing the commoner almost instantly. I was sure our cleric had a rivivify left, and so wasn't too worried, but she used her last 3rd level spell to inflict wounds because she hadn't seen the body. They are now holding it against me that the brother is dead. I'm a dm, i can take it, but should i have given her a heads up, or is the death on me?

Praise be to Dice Christ; I come with glad tidings in His name! I was recently playing a healer in a player’s last ever fight before moving away and leaving the group. At the midpoint, our session ended, and I was tested by our Dice Lord! Rather than interrupting the flow of battle, I’d been monitoring damage taken, and knew our about to be leaving player should be down. Wracked with guilt, I pondered it - did my faith in Dice Christ require me to send him a text and ask if he had some additional HP from something I didn’t know about? Or did my love of the game and the awesome final battle designed for his character mean I should keep schtum? In the end, judges, I chose my table’s story over the Dice Lord and swore to stay quiet forever… And then, in the final session, Dice Christ smiled upon me! By not reaching out, I preserved a twist (that the player had actually had a few additional levels in assassin and originally been infiltrating our party for sinister reasons) and the table and Our Faith converged into one again. Let this be a valuable lesson to all you dice devils - meditate on the lessons of Dice Christ and have faith in your party above all else, and you shall be rewarded!

Alexandra Ferguson

Hey y’all, When my character wants to drink water should I have disadvantage on all checks for an hour? I just saw a river running from a cave we were entering and I drank it cause my barbarian was thirsty, I failed a constitution check, took 1d6 damage and was given disadvantage on everything for an hour. It’s just water. For clarification yes I do ask to drink/taste/lick nearly every liquid that my DM describes.

Jack Malizia