Elephant In The Room - 14/6/25

Heya folks, how ya doing?

For the sake of transparency, I'd like to tell you folks about what happened in the last few weeks. Keep in mind, I have no reason to lie, nor to beg for people to stay.

It starts in late May. I had my first physical and mental breakdown at the same time. At first I thought it was impossible. But, I was wrong. Apparently, due to overwhelmed of thoughts in my head, it made me having a chronic (almost) non-stop stomach ache.

So, I went to a doctor. They told me that I may have spent too much time making "content", and apparently it affect my brain. They said my "Neuron-something-bla-bla" has "damaged" thus it couldn't control my anxiety normally. For example;

• I'm sure you folks understand about what happen with world nowadays. Despite all of those armed conflicts did not happen in my country, somehow I'm having a major anxiety for no reason;

• Or maybe, mistakes that I made in the past 2-3 years ago. Despite it's not an issue right now (Or never will), somehow I'm worried. Despite people on the internet since 5-6 years ago still making the same mistakes on their daily basis, they never worried. But, somehow I worried;

• And many more tbh, like AI stuff, job, etc;

These are some of the examples that has ruined my will to render.

Lastly, I just want you folks to understand, that I do still want to render. I still got some few ideas for comics as well. But, I just wanna say that I felt different since late May. It feels like I just re-born. I don't know. I'm not sure.

This post may looks unprofessional, but at the end of the day, I'm still a human that constantly make mistake. And if fate gave me chances to redeem myself, I'll be glad to exist longer just to do so.

Well, anyway thank you for reading my vent. Just like that Fleck fella from the movie used to say, That's life!

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