Sixteen the Hard Way -18.1- Homeward

As eldest, I usually got to sit up front with the driver when I wanted to, and right now, I did because of the psychological edge it gave me in confidence. Enough confidence to say something like, “You know I’m never going on any dates,” and hope it would stick.

But Donna wouldn’t let it alone.

“What never?” she asked on a rising note from the seat directly behind me.

Oh, God. I couldn’t resist. “No, never!” I countered.

“What never!?” Mom came in on soprano, with a bit of a giggle from behind the steering wheel.

“I won’t say it,” I said, backing out.

So they both did. “Well, hardly ever!”

Of course, we all three had to giggle. G&S is just too silly.

“You’re going to get asked for dates!” Donna pointed out.

I glanced down at myself. Yeah, I probably will. I was wearing the denim skort set, and while it had a higher neckline than some of the other things I had acquired, there was no hiding my new shape. “I’ll just ignore them. It would be too risky. They might recognize me.”

Donna pooh-poohed that. “Pft! No one is going to believe you used to be a boy!”

“I’m still a boy!” I protested.

“There’s some question if you ever were a boy,” she pointed out.

I sighed. My medical situation would probably not be sorted out soon. It really looked like I would have to go to school Monday as Joni. We’d worked out a sort of half-baked explanation that I would pose as Aunt Heidi’s daughter, my own cousin, while attending until something got worked out with the doctors. But it already didn’t look good, since a big dose of testosterone had just made my chest grow two cup sizes overnight.

Mom negotiated the complicated side roads to get out of the parking lot around Fashion Valley and back onto the freeway heading east. She’d been concentrating on that task and ignoring the byplay between Donna and me until she actually made it into the traffic stream before commenting, “Your father should be home by now, maybe he has some news from trying to find a new doctor for you, Joni.”

“Eep!” I said. If Dad was home, he’d see me wearing the new girls’ clothes we’d bought, and suddenly that seemed like a bad thing. I tried to grab my nerves and head off a case of the shakes at the pass when Donna stuck her hand through the gap between the front seats to squeeze my arm.

“It’s okay, sis,” she said. “He’ll understand.”

I put reached a hand over and grabbed hers to squeeze back. Being called ‘sis’ didn’t actually bother me so much right then because I needed the reassurance from Donna that she would stand beside me. We squabbled and fussed at each other, a lot, and I expected a raft of teasing but I knew we were family and that counted.

Mom changed freeways as smoothly as she ever managed it, and Donna and I kept our hands clasped while my face leaked a bit. We’d be home in a few minutes, and things had probably changed forever, but still, it was good to know I had people that cared about me.