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GAM Bonus 074: Morbius

That's right motherfuckers... It's Morbin' Time.

This is a bit of a long one. Thomas Smith joined us, and this movie had way more stupid than most.

Comments

Eli, it should be Mouse-feratu

Markus Nävergård

Billionaire money remake, I'd love to see this!

Rachel Manente

Noah and Eli, my friends, let me blow your mind. You did not hear Morbius say, “I’m venom” in this film. That was a line in the trailer that was inexplicably cut from the theatrical version. But they kept in the “Michael Morbius pleased to meet you” which now makes no fucking sense. Unless I’m mistaken and there’s somehow a second cut of Morbius floating around.

Billy Whitehouse

He could have found a aztec temple in that cave that was dedicated to Camazotz, the aztec Vampire bat god of death,blood and night and gained vampire powers from an idol there. Boom. solved.

Markus Nävergård

and vampire bats just drink blood from animals. Morbious could jsut become a farmer and snack on cattle or something. and i guess he is a vampire int he sense that a mosquito is "vampiric" aka feeds on blood, but he is not a undead.

Markus Nävergård

most bats eats insects, some eat fruit and some fish and some even nectar. Vampire bats are endemic to south america. also no the only animal that drinks blood, mosquitos,leeches,ticks, Bullfinches. loads of animals feeds on blood. Morbious as a character is so dumb. they call him " the living vampire" Ungh

Markus Nävergård

First GAM bonus episode, and it's such a great one to start with lol. Funny how they show needing blood as such a curse when normal real people have diseases that require regular blood transfusions but don't have any of the benefits of being a vampire. Not surprised this movie did bad, bats are not know to make good movies lol.

GameLeader

Jason Voorhees and Winnie the Pooh made me squeal laugh in public

Hard in Hightown

On another note...it's amazing how many dropped threads in the story I just...went along with because I have outside context. I had no idea what a clusterfuck of bad editing and rerewites the movie was till I listened to the episode. Really helps illustrate how baffled my grandparents felt when Endgame was the FIRST marvel movie they went to see. Made for an extremely entertaining episode, despite how dull the movie ultimately is.

potato potato also another potato

Side note, you mention multiple times that he's not an actual vampire but...yes he is. He's an artificial vampire, but in the context of any other media he IS considered a real vampire and follows a lot of the classic rules, keep in mind actual vampires, including the actual dracula, do exist in the marvel universe, if not either of the movie universes (yet, there is a blade movie coming in the 2024-ish, speaking of which...you know who would have been a MUCH better antagonist for Morbius? BLADE (granted that is obviously a rights issue between marvel and sony) I know they can't use spiderman for all these spiderman villian movies but...figure something out. Who is Kraven going to be hunting in his movie? The most charming possible hunter/nature enthusiast? Steve Irwin? Mind...none of that really applies to this movie, but it's an explanation for why the movie seems so confused about Morbius powers and his nature. Also...not for nothing but...regarding the whole fake blood versus hunting people thing? in the comics he just robs blood banks a lot. Odd that the middle ground of drinking human blood but not you know, blood currently being used by humans never came up. I dunno...it's a stupid movie regardless, so why am I bothering thinking about it.

potato potato also another potato

I cannot understand how nobody has brought attention to the fact that the detectives shake the LITTER BOX to try to attract the cat...

Lisorael

How Sony thought the focus of the worst Spider-Man:The Animated Series arc would make a good movie is beyond me.

Oxford Comma is Mandatory

No one has ever personified the phrase "got the morbs" harder than Jared Leto before this movie. This just made it inceptiony

Phoenix Hauser

I’d never heard of either the character or the movie until now. I loathe the DC and Marvel universes, but excellent episode. I’ll make an exception and watch this one.

The Real Moorey

What are the odds the guy who made this movie was a rioter on 1/6?

Kristine VanRaalte

This episode was so darn funny!

Jessica Bonin

They have done it GAM053

Mark Smith

Please do the Passions of the Christ

Off-label Botanist

We saw Matt Smith in Last Night in Soho before watching this movie, so able to accept him better as a bad guy! 😳

Rebecca Oxford

Thank you Thomas for ranting about the palm slice. It is one of my biggest pet peeves! The top of the forearm is less painful or traumatic physically. Or if you just need a little, prick a finger! I get so mad about it. 😤

Rebecca Oxford

This one fucking slayed me. I laughed out loud a lot

B

Can't tell if you're missing a 't' or a comma in that last sentence. Though, having just watched, I can imagine it's the latter.

Pterrorsaurus hex

I don't have a robot arm.

Renee Y Bisel

I always think I'd enjoy a movie that sets up tropes only to go on and do what would really happen. In this case I'd like Morbius to cut his hand at the cave and literally nothing happen as a result. Just a cut away as he gets tries to control the bleeding, spends the rest of the movie with stitches he has to try and not break.

David S.

I just started listening, but I don’t think the GAM guys are aware of how goddamn good Matt Smith is at playing smug evil Bastards.

lil-brudder89

Thank you so much for this episode. Today at the public school where I work, all us faculty had to go in for active shooter training which involved the cops simulating various scenarios and firing soap bullets. Listening to this show is amazing for calming my anxiety shakes. Y'all are the best!

Lissy Strata

Morby Mouse needs to happen. Especially as a puppet show.

Matthew Laird

Dammit guys, why would you remind me that we're definitely not getting a Black Cat movie?

tsukiouji

Is this movie just an elaborate Snickers comercial? His superpower is getting hangry. "You're not you when you're hungry."

Fluidkaos

Embarrassed to say I paid $19 to watch this while it was still in theaters. There was at least once I had to rewind because I completely lost the plot. Though I had a stroke. 😊

Rob Johnson

Imagine if early on, a hobo grabs Dr. Morbs and rabbles warnings to him that he's stumbling into magical things, and will call upon himself forces that are not merciful. Dr. Morbs' reaction would provide character depth.

Moriar

Our 21 year old son went to the theatre to see this. And then tortured us with a 3 hour rant on how bad it was. The next day, he woke us up saying "I have more I need to say about this terrible movie". Everyone in our house called their therapist over this eventually. ;)

Kidda Sweet

I honestly feel like there's a relatively easy, lore-friendly way to fix most of the issues with Morbius's powers. In the comics, it's long-established that Peter Parker and all of these other spider-themed characters' powers aren't wholly biological. The means by which they GOT their powers may be, but once that happens, theyre tied to this mystical spider-totem which grants them powers which aren't scientifically explicable. The same story hints at the existence of other animal totems as well. So. Just establish a bat totem. Say that all vampires derive their powers from it. Say that Morbius took a very unconventional approach to connecting to this bat totem which gives him vampire powers, and that he sort of cjeated his way into supernatural might, flying, superspeed, etc. Boom. Youre done. And it works within the narrative framework of the comics.

Dave Ligblurt

"This is a bit of a long one" No complaints here.

James Russell

My Free Company in FFXIV did a watch party of this. That's how I saw the movie. I have switched to another Free Company. (I don't know if they bring it up in the episode, but I'm baffled at the use of Casio F-91W. There is no countdown function; and it's the most popular watch in the world. I am curious how they got ones stopped at exactly five minutes on the stopwatch mode for the shots, though. Brute force attempts from interns? Some microcontroller being used up precisely start and stop?)

Moriar

Y’all just derailed my entire evening. Fuck.

Kyle Esposito

I'll never watch the movie, so it's going to be a treat listening to the lads eviscerate it.

Nathaniel Arnold

A birthday bonus for MMMEEEE 🥳🥰

Sai Like Sigh

Oh Jesus God this fucking movie.

Michael Colon

Welp. Guess I'm watching Morbius tonight.

G. T. Blackwell


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