GAM Bonus 049: House of the Dead
Added 2020-08-01 01:42:07 +0000 UTCWe asked what contagion movie you wanted and the answer was overwhelming. So we got to watch yet another video game movie, and it somehow lowered the average.
Comments
Fun fact: Germany had to change their tax laws BECAUSE of Uwe Boll and his shenanigans.
Tiralana
2024-12-18 23:22:53 +0000 UTCWe need a citation needed episode on Ewe Boll.
Stephen Gaston
2020-08-05 17:58:57 +0000 UTC1:29:39 Something similar happened in Hoodwinked. Little Red: [Granny,] your face looks really weird. Wolf: I've been sick, uh... LR: ... your mouth doesn't move when you talk.
AaronRobertoMusic
2020-08-04 00:03:48 +0000 UTCI remember when Uwe Boll threatened to retire complaining that no-one understands his art. He got no support after his rant, so he actually followed through.
Oxford Comma is Mandatory
2020-08-03 21:13:38 +0000 UTCOh maaaan...I wished I hadn’t searched so hard to find a watchable free version. That’ll learn me, I has regrets. Not even boobies managed to salvage it. Great show though boys.
The Real Moorey
2020-08-03 14:37:30 +0000 UTCI don't know why, but I read this and heard it as Eli doing his William Dafoe.
Danial Gibson
2020-08-03 14:19:28 +0000 UTCSo. Remember when bowling alleys were a thing? And they were garishly decorated with glow-in-the-dark planet wall stickers and the carpet pattern might give you a seizure if you looked at it long enough? Always smelled like cigarettes and cheap deodorant? Some dude in a Canadian tuxedo passed out across the bench seat for lane 13 even though its only 10 am? Great. Yeah. I remember that too. Do you also remember how bowling alleys would have an arcade section full of TERRIBLE 90s rail shooters like House of the Dead or CarnEvil? Great! We're on the same page! Anyway. My point is that I used to spend my elementary school summer vacations scrounging my local bowling alley parking lot for quarters or harassing the drunks at the alley's bar until they gave me money to gtfo and I would spend HOURS trying to get all the way through those terrible rail shooters. I played through House of the Dead, like, half a dozen times in one summer. Was it a good game? No. The plot was nonsensical and the creatures (which had NAMES for specific types -- but don't get me started on that) were basically reused throughout the game ad nauseam. Zombie frogs and leeches? Sure, makes sense. HUNDREDS of zombies double-fisting axes? Where are all these axes coming from? Who fucking knows. Look, the game was terrible. But it was MY terrible game. When the movie came out and was shown on the SyFy channel (sans boobs to my great disappointment) I was EXCITED. I taped this movie! And you know what? This movie taught me something important. Uwe Boll's House of the Dead taught me that even adults don't know what the fuck they're doing sometimes.
Emme Lynn
2020-08-02 02:47:16 +0000 UTCThere’s a sequel!!
A turn knees general
2020-08-02 02:34:12 +0000 UTCWhen Thomas brought up Jurgen Prochnow, my head started screaming “THE KEEP”!!! This needs to be an episode. Jurgen plays a nazi, Scott Glenn is an immortal warrior and there’s an ancient evil kept in place by thousands silver crosses embedded in the walls. Scenery is chewed while you are bored senseless. It’s an incredible combination and the movie would work as a regular or Patreon episode. https://g.co/kgs/jUWErM
JacM
2020-08-02 02:15:41 +0000 UTCAnd 2: I googled Uwe to look at his other movie credits, and noticed he also made a movie based on Far Cry, which according to the Wikipedia page, "was a major box office bomb, and, like Boll's other films, a critical disappointment." Ouch.
Ben - Come eat at Ben's Big Bugs, the restaurant where I force you to eat bowl after bowl of big, beady-eyed bugs!
2020-08-01 22:00:19 +0000 UTCTwo fun things I discovered looking up this movie: 1. The imdb page is just as dedicated to gratuitous boobs as the movie itself. I invite you to look at pictures #16, 17, 18... and then... 19. Seems unnecessary.
Ben - Come eat at Ben's Big Bugs, the restaurant where I force you to eat bowl after bowl of big, beady-eyed bugs!
2020-08-01 21:57:59 +0000 UTCApparently there's a documentary coming out about him https://movieweb.com/fuck-you-all-the-uwe-boll-story-trailer/
Curufea
2020-08-01 20:24:47 +0000 UTCNoah’s numerous references to Citation Needed episodes got impressive
Nick
2020-08-01 19:50:55 +0000 UTCNoah said hung instead of hanged and now I am thrown into grammatical hell wondering if *I'm* wrong.
Stormy Decisis says visit sharebannedbooks.com
2020-08-01 17:01:44 +0000 UTCI’m sure it’s just a coincidence, but Eli’s zombie voice sounded a loooooot like Lil Cheney’s voice from that Comedy Central cartoon Lil Bush https://youtu.be/tT0rgR1-RUE
Natalie L.
2020-08-01 16:16:57 +0000 UTCFFS...yep. And it was painful to watch 😂 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_the_Dead_(1978_film)
The Real Moorey
2020-08-01 14:17:04 +0000 UTCOh Jesus, I think I just watched the wrong “house of the dead’. I’m off to cry into cake.
The Real Moorey
2020-08-01 14:08:48 +0000 UTCGreat episode, thank you! Thomas is always a delightful guest masochist, with a wonderful laugh.
Taru Tikkanen
2020-08-01 13:48:34 +0000 UTCBTW the dude that jabbed himself with the random nail in the hand on the bridge over boiling zombie soup was because apparently the actor hurt his hand and they wrote the nail bit in so nobody would wonder why his hand was bandaged... truth.
Araknis Slade
2020-08-01 11:49:48 +0000 UTCWhy didn't Thomas just wear Heath's face for this episode?
I'm not a tall man, but I am a disaster
2020-08-01 11:43:20 +0000 UTCThis episode was hilarious, though I was thrown off by how you all insisted on saying "Uwe" incorrectly. I also want to mention that in the nonsense "shotgun shell = bullet that splits into smaller bullets" shot, the lady who shoots the shotgun does so as she JUMPS INTO THE TRAJECTORY OF A FLYING AXE FOR NO REASON.
Markus D
2020-08-01 09:05:14 +0000 UTCI tried so hard campaigning for this, I’m sure my hard work paid off lol
Adrian the science enthusiast
2020-08-01 03:10:48 +0000 UTCI am so glad this happened.
A.J.
2020-08-01 01:50:51 +0000 UTC
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