Status.

TL;DR:

As long as my Patreon page is paused, new subscribers can’t join and access the existing content, and I get a lot of requests to open it again. So to let them subscribe, I’m reopening Patreon, BUT it might take a little more while until I can start uploading new content. So if you don’t want to get charged the Patreon fee while waiting for new content, I strongly suggest that you end your pledge, and if you wish you can resubscribe later.

If you have been charged already and don’t want that, send me a DM and I’ll refund the pledge.

If you still choose to stay as a subscriber in the meantime, I want to express my immense gratitude for the support as it means a lot to me, but I want to make it clear that I do absolutely not expect it.

Hi lovely people.

I get a lot of messages from folks wanting to join my Patreon, which isn’t possible because I have it paused, so I thought I should address that and also speak a bit about the elephant in the room; why I’ve disappeared from here and what’s happening from here on.

Why I have disappeared

I won’t go into depth about this in text because it’s quite a long topic and I’d like to record a video talking about this instead, or even better have some kind of community discussion somehow. But in short, it has something to do with distractions and challenges in life and a lot to do with mental health issues and depression. I have never learned to talk about these “shameful” things, because why would anyone else give a shit about my problems, especially these days knowing that so many in the world are having a lot bigger problems than me. But it is important to talk about, not because we should pity ourselves but because I believe that it’s something a lot of people in our industry, especially freelancers, have, are having, or will have to deal with for many unique reasons.

For me, there are several causes of this, everything from AI development to economic challenges following inflation/recession and a tax audit of my company, disappearing clients, declining need, business decisions that turned out real shit, and, as a freelancer working from home, the lack of social interaction. I’ve also been having personal and emotional struggles lately as a lot is changing in my life currently, and don’t even get me started about the feeling of becoming irrelevant in the industry, the creeping up feeling of having nothing left to offer anyone, that I lost the spark, the edge. The feeling that what I do is pointless, I’m falling behind, and so on.

All of which I know isn't really true, but I still seem unable to convince myself otherwise.

And I am confident that a lot of other people in this industry are struggling with similar thoughts lately.

More about this later.

Your pledge

So Patreon is now unpaused to allow new people to enter and access the content. It might take a little more while until I can start uploading new videos again. What I want to make really clear here is that I’m not opening it to take your money. If you decide to stay, I very very much appreciate that, but I do not expect it. If you don’t want to pledge anything until there is new content available, I absolutely urge you to end your pledge in the meantime.

I simply do not want anyone to feel like I’m “ripping them off”.

If you were charged already and didn’t want that, please shoot me a DM and I’ll happily refund your pledge.

What’s happening from here on

Yes, I want to get back to Patreon. Not only that, I want to get back to creativity. But there’s a lot going on. I’m currently sorting out some bad financial issues as well as trying to sell my house, while also trying to be a good dad while also trying to get my work done, so there’s a lot going on, and truth be told I can’t really handle it all currently.

So yes, I’m coming back and I’ve already started a new project that, if it turns out well, will be the next topic for Patreon. But thanks to everything else, it’s going a bit slow, and again, I don’t know when I can upload the next content, so please consider this while deciding if you’re continuing your pledge.

The upcoming content

I know I’ve asked this before, and I’ll ask it again because my old list isn’t at all up to date anymore:

Is there anything specific you want to see in the near future of this channel? Suggestions of content? Because as I wrote above, I kind of feel like I have nothing of value to show which makes it harder for me to understand what would be valuable to you, so I’d appreciate your help on this one.

Thank you all guys, and much love!