I'm just a hard luck hero. An intrepid traveler. A historical horny man. The only thing more sexier than the environments in this gorgeous-ass game are the fine sexy sluts and hot horny honeys that populate the place. Yee-haw.
This game has one flaw and only one flaw. It's a small irritant and gosh i hate to even harp on it but pointing it out is my job, sort of, i guess, from a certain point of view. It's the scriptwriters insistence on including small bits of topical humor.
It doesn't happen often enough to be truly obnoxious, but the appeal of this game is escaping the modern world, so i really don't need to be reminded of it with cute little jokes about pandemics and Karens.
Enough. Just let me enjoy existence in a better time when the internet didn't exist and everyone just sat around poppin olives and ogglin dames. Let me forget the hell of modernity for a moment and return to what life is supposed to be about.
I just wanna relax in a bathhouse with all the town's most naked chicks, and wipe my ass with a sponge on a stick. That was the peak of civilization and it's been all downhill since the cursed invention of the private bathroom and butt-paper.