Dark Sol: Petrus Quest

Oh crap. It's a lost episode of the Regular Drk SolZ that i completely forgot about.

This takes place somewhere between Onion Man's horrible introduction and the time i fucked around at Ash Lake. 

Here i am in the Tomb of Giants, one of many worst areas of the game in this game. Every game needs a dark level, where the developers say "gee, wouldn't it be cool if the player couldn't see anything?"

No. It wouldn't, but that doesn't stop them. Game developers all have a brain disease known to the medical community as "shitload of fuck", which causes them to constantly fill even the best of games with goofy shit that nobody likes. Dark levels, water levels, motion controls, weird status effects, mechanics that make you move slow or decrease mobility, ugh. Stop. I don't want it. I don't want any of it. 

Anyways somehow in fumbling around the Tomb of Giants i bumbled my way into completing an entire quest line, something only .0000001 percent of Dark Souls payers even knew was possible. Yes, it's true. Dark Souls has quest-lines. You just didn't know it because like everything else in the game they're as vague as a wheel of fortune puzzle, but with no hint, and also Vanna White has been stung in the eyes by a big bee so she can't see what letters she's flipping and it's all completely random, and also the building is on fire, and something smells like poop. 

So here i am doing the "Petrus" quest. Petrus is a fat guy from the start of the game who acts like he's cool... but he ain't cool. He's a frightful fellow, a treacherous sort... and he won't get away with it while i'm around. 

In case you're having a hard time keeping track of these patron exclusive, sporadically released regular dark souls episodes, i'm gonna link them all here.

Regular Dark Souls Playlist

Reglar drk solz:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZp_vXrMHhI

Reglar Dkr Sul 2: Cart Full of Pies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCqlhZCxFHY

Reglar Dark SOl 3: Onion Man 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuZrIEeyEpA

Reglar DK r SOul 4: petrus quest (this one) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSDcVAOFehY

Reuglr Drk SoulSz 5: Ash Lake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qLNZZ0PWHA

Regul DksR SouLZ 6: Izaleth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux2FUbEmN_4

RGLUz DRAK SOul 7: 4 Kingz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMas-IiMhoo

I'm pretty sure that's all of them so far. If you haven't seen any of them yet, well, there's like 3 hours of inane content for you or something. Enjoy. 

Help.