XaiJu
Bitter Karella
Bitter Karella

patreon


Midnight Pals: Garlic

Jennifer Armentrout: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the scone of stone and bone
King: what's that smell?
Armentrout: oh you mean that garlic smell?
Armentrout: that patented Hellmans original mouth-watering garlic aioli smell?
King:
King: yeah that smell

Armentrout: that just happens to be my latest book
Armentrout: I've infused it with a Hellmans original garlic aioli smell
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker: why
Armentrout: for booktok, of course
King: oh right right booktok
Poe: yes that scans

Armentrout: see, i have a theory about booktok
Armentrout: what booktokers secretly desire
Armentrout: more than books that can be arranged on a shelf in order of color
Armentrout: is for a home library that smells like an Italian deli
Lovecraft: [sweats]

Armentrout: c'mon take a big whiff
Armentrout: hmmmm that delicious garlic reek
Armentrout: i can't wait until my whole home library smells like this
Armentrout: you know, hellmans uses the whole egg
Armentrout: the whole egg

King: what exactly is the point of this again
Armentrout: well the doylist explanation is its a booktok gimmick
Armentrout: but the watsonian explanation is its to keep away the craven

King: what's a craven?
Armentrout: well, i'm a-cravin' to read this book now! ha ha!
King:
King: ha ha!
King: that's pretty good
Barker: BOO
Barker: NO ITS NOT
Barker: GET OFF THE STAGE
King: oh lighten up, clive!
King: it's fun!
Barker: the whole campfire smells like a pizzeria dumpster now steve

Armentraut: but seriously, the craven is a monster that is repelled by garlic
King: ah! so a vampire?
Armentraut:
Armentraut: no
Armentraut: no its completely different

Koontz: is the craven real?
Poe: no dean the craven isn't real, it can't hurt you
Koontz: if the craven isn't real, then why do we need garlic scented books
King: whoa dean's got a point there
Poe: steve the craven isn't real
King: but what if it is???
Armentraut: you better buy 2 copies then

Comments

My Bluesky feed was full of authors joking about what the new printing of their books would smell like. Such as catbox scented "Starter Villain" 😂

Shirley R

Now I want garlic bread🤣🤣🤣 Glad you're back❤️

Teresa McDonold


More Creators