XaiJu
Bitter Karella
Bitter Karella

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Midnight Pals: Serious times

HP Lovecraft: before we begin tonight, i'd like to observe a moment of silence for the victim of gun violence
Barker: you mean victims?
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: no
Lovecraft: just the one
Koontz: which one?
Lovecraft: oh you know the one i mean
Barker: oh yeah we know the one i mean

Stephen King: you know howard
King: that charlie kirk
King: i hate to say it
King: but he was no angel
Lovecraft: what???
King: no its true

King: why, did you know that he called for the stoning of gay people?
Dan Bongino: [busting into room] eyyyyy whats goin on in hea? we gotta a schwetegenutz who don't like charlie koik?
King: dan bongino??
King: the podcaster??

Bongino: ey it if ain't stephen king
Bongino: dat no account nobody dat i ain't ever hoid of
King: we've met before
Bongino: eeey sorry man a big time podcaster don't remember nobodies like you

Bongino: what you been doin', ya nobody? writin' books?
King: yes
Bongino: muthfuckin' books! who reads dem things?
Bongino: dey nothin got da numbas like a podcast, baby!
Bongino: high double digits, baby!

King: why are you here
Bongino: eyy i ain't just doin dan bongino, podcastah an former new york cop (back da blue, baby!), top of da woild, no more!
Bongino: now i's is da deputy director of da fbi
King:

Bongino: so i hea you don't like dat charlie koik
King: honestly, no
King: i don't like that he spent his life spreading hate
Bongino: whoa whoa whoa dere stephen king
Bongino: sounds to me like someone hea wants ta get disapeared

Bongino: maybe you ain't hoid da news
Bongino: an enemy of charlie koik is a enemy of da state
Bongino: you're goin away for a long time, stephen king

King: no! stop! help!
King: clive, call my lawyer!
King: and tell my son i love him!
Barker: which son?
King: you know which son!

Bongino: looks like you got lucky dis time stephen king
Bongino: now dat we caught da real antifa muslim trans commie jew shooter, yer free ta go
King: actually i heard the shooter was a video game groyper
Bongino:
Bongino: naw i don't like dat

Bongino: da shooter is a muthafuckin video game groyper?
Bongino: wat da fuck man, you don't even know wat you's gettin dere
Bongino: dat don't even fit no narrative!

Comments

Oh, Dan🤦‍♀️ He ran for Congress in my district like 10 years ago, and well, he is not a smart man. Just so unimpressive. And also a total prick.

Teresa McDonold

People on Bluesky were all "It's not like I'm celebrating his death or something..." so I spent a day telling people that I am, in fact, celebrating. Fuck him.

Shirley R


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