Midnight Pals: Weapons

Zach Cregger: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the weapons
Cregger: it's just out in theaters!
Cregger: so if you care about spoilers maybe stop reading
Cregger: i mean, seriously
Cregger: don't get mad at me
Cregger: i'm not even the real zach cregger

Cregger: the first thing i want to say is that i love gryllos pickles!
King:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker:
Poe: is that part of the story?
Cregger: no it's a personal declaration of love
Cregger: [eating pickle] yes! YES!!!
Cregger: they're even better when you're an internet microfiction caricature!

Cregger: so this is a story about kids who mysteriously disappear in the night
Cregger: they move in a weird way
Cregger: kind of like they were weaponized
Cregger: in the same sense that a feral person living in your basement is kinda like a barbarian
Jordan Peele: you're a whiz with titles, zach!

Cregger: this story is told from multiple perspectives
Koontz: ooo like roshambo!
Cregger: King: actually dean
King: i think you mean rashomon
Koontz: oh
Cregger: yeah
Cregger: yeah not really like that tbh

Cregger: like, from the perspective of the teacher, a parent, a cop, the principle, & a random dirtbag junkie
Mary Shelley: hold up
Shelley: who's this junkie
Shelley: i love him already
Barker: yeah he's fun!
Poe: let's have more of him
Koontz: i like him
Cregger:
Cregger: i was not expecting this

Cregger: the cop is worried because he was caught on camera assaulting the dirtbag junkie and there might be consequences
George Romero: ha! as if!
Romero: why would any cop be afraid of that?
Romero: explain that to me
Cregger: because its a work of fiction
Romero:
Romero: oh
Romero: fuckin ACAB!!!

Cregger: but we all know what the scariest thing of all is
Cregger: what if there was an old woman with too much make-up
Barker: oh shit
Poe: that is scary!
Lovecraft: [sweats] i'm hyperventilating
King: like, how much make up?
Cregger: like a clown's amount of make-up
King: ok yeah that's p scary