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Bitter Karella
Bitter Karella

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Midnight Pals: Bones

John Langan: you're telling me EVERYONE has a skeleton inside?
Poe: that's right
Langan:
Langan: i don't get it
David Niall Wilson: edgar, let me try
Wilson: i think i can explain it

Langan: so you're sayin that everyone has a skeleton inside?
Wilson: that's right
Langan: okay but like
Langan: i mean
Langan: i mean not everyone everyone
Langan: i mean you don't have a skeleton right?
Wilson: everyone, john
Wilson: even me

Langan:
Langan: okay but like
Langan: not edgar, right?
Wilson: no edgar also has a skeleton
Langan:
Langan: okay but not steve, right?
Wilson: everyone, john

Langan: but not mary right?
Mary Shelley: why would you think that
Shelley: i'm so goth I've got EXTRA bones
Wilson: don't say that
Wilson: you're going to confuse him

Langan: ok
Langan: but not dean, right?
Wilson: yes, even dean
Langan: ok but not howard right?
Wilson: EVERYONE

Langan: ok but not lor right?
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop i'm a goop
Wilson:
Wilson: ummm
Wilson: lor might be an outlier

Wilson: i mean, lor might have bones
Langan: i can clearly see right through lor's transluscent goo that they do not have bones
Langan: why were you lying to me
Langan: now i don't know what to believe

Wilson: well, the fact remains
Wilson: MOST people have bones
Langan:
Langan: this is heavy, man
Langan: i need to be alone for a while
King: john
Poe: no no let him go
Poe: he's got some thinking to do
Poe: let him process

Langan: it's so weird to think there's bones inside me
Langan: i don't know how to feel about that
Langan: if only there was a way to get rid of them!
Max Booth III: funny you should ask that

Booth: you don't want your bones?
Booth: well, fiddle dee dee
Booth: if you don't your bones, young man, you should give them to me!
Langan: who are you?
Booth: who am I? WHO AM I??

Booth: Allow me to introduce myself!
Booth: They call me Mr. Bones!
Booth: You don't need those 24 ribs
Booth: so how bout you give me a loan?
Booth: see, collecting bones is my game!
Booth: femurs and ribs and clavicles!
Booth: why, to me they're all the same!

Booth: I've heard you've been complaining!
Booth: There's no need to cry or whine!
Booth: i'll take your long bones and your sesamoids
Booth: why, I've found you just in time!

Booth: I want those bones, every one
Booth: I'll drain your marrow, oo, that sounds fun!
Booth: at snatching bones, i just won't be outdone
Booth: Be smaaaaaart-
Booth: Don't mess with the Professor!
Booth: i mean the mister
Booth: fuck
Booth: fuck shit fuck
Booth: i messed up the song
Langan: no you were doing good

Joyce Carol Oates: this isn't fuckin funny
Oates: none of this is funny
Oates: skeletons are no laughing matter

Comments

He should've just found a genie to do it, like Peter Griffin did. Easy as pie. Weenie, beanie, thank you genie.

Vikki Vixxxen

It's true though. The bones. Nobody saw lor coming...

David Niall Wilson

I think his stuff was so long ago that people forget the horror aspect of his writing. "Dark They Were, and Golden-eyed" is about the karmic effects of a literal genocide.

Shirley R

I was convinced Bradbury was going to show up, because he also wrote this story.

Ross TenEyck-McDowell


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