Midnight Pals: Worldcon Drama

Hugo Gernsback: hey everyone its me, hugo gernsback
Gernsback: editor of Amazing Stories and namesake of the hugo awards
Gernsback: perhaps you've heard of them?
Clive Barker: oh buddy
Barker: buddy
Barker: we've heard all about them ha ha

Gernsback: ah yes my precious hugo awards!
Gernsback: the most prestigious award in science fiction and fantasy!
Gernsback: a place for serious business
Gernsback: certainly no room for shenanigans here
Gernsback: no room for tomfoolery
Gernsback: no room for clownish buffoonery

Gernsback: ugh, it's so hard to read all these panel proposals for worldcon
Gernsback: where we do the hugo awards
Gernsback: there's got to be a better way
L Ron Hubbard: there is, my friend, there is!
Hubbard: just sit right back and let your old pal Honest Ron tell you all about the exciting world of
Hubbard: AI

Hubbard: see, all you do is
Hubbard: you put the choicest cuts of science fiction and fantasy right here into this hopper
Hubbard: you let the AI do its work
Hubbard: and presto!
[AI vomits gray slurry]
Gernsback:
Hubbard: trust me, your readers won't know the difference

Gernsback: why, this AI is great!
Gernsback: if we had it back in my day, we never would have had to pay any of the writers we published in Amazing Stories!
Lovecraft: you still haven't paid me!
Gernsback: quiet, you

Gernsback: using advanced AI, we'll construct the perfect list of panelists for worldcon 2025!
AI: you know you can use glue for pizza sauce
Gernsback: eh, good enough for government work!
Barker: yeah, literally

Gernsback: hey AI, using the list of names provided, please evaluate each person for scandals.
Gernsback: Scandals include but are not limited to homophobia, transphobia, racism, harassment, sexual misconduct, sexism or fraud
AI: ok
Gernsback: this will work great because the AI is notably not build reflecting dominant attitudes of homophobia, transphobia, racism, harassment, sexual misconduct, sexism or fraud

Gernsback: great news, everyone! we used AI to
Barker: BOOOOOO!
Gernsback: to
Barker: BOOOOOOO!
Barker: come on guys, say it with me
Koontz: Boo!
Barker: that's the spirit
Gernsback: jeez who would have though these writers didn't like the AI

Bitter Karella: you know this all could have been avoided
Karella: if only they had nominated bitter karella for another fan hugo
Gernsback: how would that have affected anything
Karella: quiet, you

Karella: in fact, the fact that bitter karella was NOT nominated is surely the biggest miscarriage of justice of all
Karella: i put the blame squarely where it belongs
Karella: on YOU, the reader
Karella: how could you let me down like this
Karella: LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING

Barker: why? are you trying to secure a fourth straight loss?
Karella: i
Karella:
Karella: shut up i don't like when you make fun of me
Barker: ha ha

Karella: it's ok i didn't want a hugo anyway
Karella: i hear that award sucks
Barker: ha ha
Poe: clive be nice
Poe: he's very sensitive
Barker: clearly
Karella: i just wanted to beat taral Wayne's record :(