Midnight Pals: Large Adult Son

Eric Stenbock: hello midnight society
Stenbock: i'm Count Eric Stanislaus Stenbock
Stenbock: [producing life-size mannequin] and this is my son le Petit Comte
Thomas Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Stephen King: you're uh
King: really staring at that mannequin kinda intently there, tom
Ligotti: hm

Eric Stenbock: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the true story of the vampire
Stenbock: one sec, let me just get le Petit Comte comfortable first
Stenbock: how are you doing le Petit Comte
Stenbock:
Ligotti:
Stenbock:
Ligotti:
Stenbock:
Ligotti:
Stenbock: he says he's doing good

RL Stine: hey does your puppet talk
Stine: my puppet talks
Stenbock: does my what talk?
Stine: your puppet
Stenbock:
Stenbock: you mean my son?
Stine: yeah your puppet there
Stenbock:
Stenbock: never speak to me or my son every again

RL Stine: i just wanted to know if le petit comte talks
RL Stine: [producing ventriloquist dummy] cuz knothead here talks
RL Stine: especially when i drink a glass of water
RL Stine: watch he'll sing the old gray mare
Stenbock: how dare you

Stenbock: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the true tale of a vampire
Stenbock: it's the story of carmilla
Sheridan Le Fanu:
Stenbock: not THAT carmilla
Stenbock: a totally different carmilla

Stenbock: this carmilla story is not to be confused for sheridan la fanu's carmilla
Stenbock: for one thing, this isn't a lesbian vampire story
Stenbock: it's a gay vampire story
Stenbock: extremely gay
Bram Stoker: oh no
Anne Rice: oh yes

Stenbock: so carmilla lives in a castle with her sexy brother gabriel and their dad
Stenbock: and she's narrating this story so
Stenbock: she's all "hey its me carmilla, let me tell you what i look like"
Stenbock: "i'm just an average girl, but i think i'm pretty hot"
Stenbock: "but boy my brother, damn what a smoke show"
Stenbock: "pouty youthful mouth, tangled blonde locks, the whole deal"
Stenbock: "you know how it is"

Stenbock: "so my brother was so kind and gentle, filled with nothing but love"
Stenbock: "just loved animals"
Stenbock: "and animals loved him"
Stenbock: "he was a delicate cinnamon bun too good for this cruel bitch of a world"

Stenbock: "anyway this vampire comes to our castle"
Stenbock: "and he's always hanging out with my brother"
Stenbock: "but my brother is suddenly all sick and pale and doesn't have as much blood as usual"
Stenbock: "suspiciously vampiric"

Stenbock: "anyway then my brother died and the vampire left, the end"
Stenbock: what do you think of that
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
King: thom it's not going to move, it's not real
Ligotti: hm