Midnight Pals: Publisher Assassins

Poe: Look, this has gone on too long
Poe: we've GOT to distance ourselves from Joanne
Neil Gaiman: she's become a liability
Gaiman: soon she'll be killed by the publisher assassins
Poe: right, the
Poe: hold on, the what
Gaiman: the publisher assassins
Poe:

Gaiman: dead authors sell better, you see
Gaiman: so someone could kill an author just to goose sales
Gaiman: that's why we all have to be very protective of copyright
King: ...is this about the internet archive
Gaiman: I SIGNED THE LETTER OKAY

Gaiman: imagine
Gaiman: it's 2001
Gaiman: you're sent to kill a promising young author
Gaiman: but you accidentally kill her terrier instead
Barker: That was a film
Gaiman: ah but films are the mindscape of potentiality
Koontz: [crying] I don't like this story

Gaiman: ah dean, fear not my young friend
Gaiman: tis a mere thought experiment
Gaiman: publisher assassins are not real, they can't hurt you
Gaiman: [stroking chin] though contracted hit men are REMARKABLY cheap
Gaiman: Only five figures? Now THAT'S what I call making a killing

King: neil you're just being kooky, no one's gonna kill authors for the copyright
King: i mean
King: who could even pull off a thing like  
Barker: mary could do it
King:
King: no no mary's too flamboyant
King: you need a professional for this
Jack Ketchum: [long cigarette drag]

Jack Ketchum: i could do it
King:
Ketchum: i could do it easy
Ketchum: no one would ever find the bodies
King:
Barker: would you make it look like an accident
Ketchum: what am i, an amateur? of course i'd make it look like a fucking accident
Ketchum: what a question

Ketchum: damn shame about that scottish castle
King: jack
Ketchum: you know what they say
Ketchum: you gotta keep diane duane outta the woodwork or you're gonna get some major structural damage
Ketchum: the kind that can crush a person alive  
King: jack what did you do

Ketchum: i didn't do anything, steve
King:
Ketchum: and there are no witnesses to say otherwise
King:
Gaiman: haha my goodness this gedank experiment sure is a testament to the limitless reaches of the human imagination isn't it haha