Midnight Pals: Back in the Fold

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: sssay hello to graham lineham
Linehan [wearing tinfoil hat]: freemasons run the country
Jesse Singal: but mommy
Rowling: i know we were all pretending he didn't exisst for a while
Rowling: that changes now

Rowling: sssee hiss extreme levelsss of divorcednesss usssed to be a liability to our hate movement
Rowling: but now that being extremely divorced hassss gone mainssstream
Rowling: he'sss an asssset!
Elon Musk: eyyy you know da jews, they maka my wife leave me

Rowling: to think that only a few yearsss ago, cccyberssstalking, death threatsss and appearing drunk on live televisssion were consssidered gouache
Rowling: but today, there'sss no bottom!
Rowling: and itsss all thankss to your tirelesssss effortsss!
Rowling: well done, graham!

Linehan: don't worry, i have a new plan against the trans
Rowling: yesss?
Linehan: i'm going to rally father ted fans
Linehan: see, if you liked a sit com back in the 90s, then you're obligated to join my hate movement
Linehan: there's no better way to connect with today's youth

Linehan: Father Ted fans will flock to my aid
Linehan: there's no one more likely to be on board with hating queers than someone who liked a comedy that made fun of catholicism

Linehan: after all, think of the success that you had turning all your harry potter fans into loyal terfs
Rowling: uhhhh
Linehan: i mean, they did all fall in line right?
Rowling:
Rowling:
Rowling:

Rowling: look, i don't need harry potter fansss
Rowling: i have new fanss
Rowling: fanss of me
Rowling: the adoration of the world'sss children meansss nothing to me compared to the adoration of 12 mumsssnet possstersss named rossemary

Rowling: i might have given up the love of the world'ss children but look what i gained
Maya Forstater: i'm gonna get that cartoon alien one of these days, i promise dark lord!! just watch!
Julie Bindel: [red tape across mouth] mmm
Rowling: yeah i
Rowling: i really gained a lot

Allison Bailey: [sweating, desperately clutching briefcase] i won't drop it... i won't drop it
Tatsuya Ishida: i'm drawing communist lesbian joe biden with a huge dick
Elon Musk: mama mia dissa post issa banned for not being racist! oh!!
Rowling: yeah
Rowling: really gained a lot