Midnight Pals: Cyclical Time

[at unicorn fuck club]
Robert Jordan: thus as the wheel of time turns, so pass the ages of man!
Jordan: a new epoch of magic and mystery settles upon the land!
Jordan: it was an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come!
Tolkien: wait a second
Tolkien: which was it

Jordan: the gleeman vish taral’bid came to seek the blessing of ai’shidoo
Tolkien: you’re dropping names like we should be familiar with them
Jordan: you should be, we’ve been over this before
Tolkien: we have?
Jordan: in an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come

Jordan: it’s an epic tale of good & evil just like your lord of the rings
Jordan: but the selling point here is that time is cyclical
Tolkien: oh that’s interesting, i thought time was linear
Jordan: oh no not at all
Jordan: first you have to understand that space time is curved

Jordan: so nineva al’uvyf is all “oh you menfolk with yer dillying and your dallying! Guess it’s up to us womenfolk to fix this!”
Jordan: “what’s that there? mud on the floor? ooo and i suppose you menfolk expect us womenfolk to clean that up mm? Just like you menfolk!”

Jordan: just imagine every woman in this world is that one really annoying Irish chick in Star Trek the Next Generation

Jordan: of course men channel saidin for dude magic
Jordan: which is stronger, like how a dude is stronger than a lady
Jordan: but the lady magic of ladies? well that‘s better for working together
Jordan: the real magic is friendship

Jordan: let me tell you
Jordan: women, huh?
Jordan: who can understand them?
Jordan: bitches be chanelin’ saidar

Jordan: so perin was on an epic quest to the desert of yarbalno
GRR Martin: how smooth are the skirts?
Jordan: oh actually they’re kinda wrinkled
Jordan: better smooth ‘em out
Jordan: thanks for reminding me!
Jordan: wait a second
Jordan: are you making fun of me!?

Jordan: you know if that’s how you’re gonna be, I’m just gonna go over to midnight society!
Tolkien: you can’t do that, robert! You’re not telling a horror story!
Jordan: well, there’s a dark one, that’s pretty spooky
Jordan: you know what, just SHUT UP

[at midnight society]
Jordan: anyway that’s when i came over here
Barker: so how smooth are the skirts

Edward Lee: bro i don’t like to brag but
Lee: i been to tar valon
Lee: if you know what i mean
Koontz: i don’t know what you mean
Angela Carter: get off it, you have not been
Carter: you wouldn’t be able to find it
Tabitha King: oh ho ho! Zing!
Patricia Highsmith: i’ve been

Robert Jordan: Braids -- tugged.
Jordan: Skirts -- smoothed.
Jordan: Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing.

[at unicorn fuck club]
Robert Jordan: thus as the wheel of time turns, so pass the ages of man!
Jordan: it was an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come!
Tolkien: wait a second
Tolkien:
Tolkien: whoa, déjà vu