Midnight Pals: Thought Crimes of the Future

HP Lovecraft: S-submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the swarthy foreigner
King: c’mon howard really
Lovecraft: t-this is cancel culture
King:
King: howard
King: you can’t keep doing this

Lovecraft: t-this is cancel culture  
King: clive did you really have to teach him that phrase  
King: I mean yeah it was funny at first  
King: but its really starting to get kinda annoying
Barker: ha ha it’s still funny

Lovecraft: this is c-cancel culture  
Barker: this will never be not funny  
Lovecraft: t-this is cancel culture  
Barker: ah ha ha he said it again!  
Barker: the absolute madman!!!

Lovecraft: i-I’m being cancelled for my beliefs  
Pamela Paresky: hey my adrenochrome-drinking libertarian race realist friends and i saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe. Can we buy you a drink?

Pamela Paresky: I like the way you speak your mind  
Paresky: I’d like to invite you to join our club  
Paresky: we call ourselves “the thought criminals”  
Paresky: because we’re all thought criminals  
Paresky: some of us are sex criminals too

Paresky: we have free thinkers here, running the gamut from sex criminal libertarians to accused sex criminal libertarians  
Paresky: this is a safe space for us free thinkers  
Lovecraft: c-can i  
Lovecraft: can I say my cat’s name  
Paresky: oh yes  
Paresky: absolutely

Paresky: let’s get some heterodox thoughts going in here  
Joshua Katz: black people shouldn’t be so loud when cops beat them  
Sarah Rose Siskind: and they really shouldn’t be in college
Emma Green: wow! These are some interesting viewpoints!  
Green: much to consider

Paresky: as you can see the thought criminals are a contemptible lot of cads, bounders and tiger stabbers
Paresky: no opinion is too outrageous to be shared here
Joyce Carol Oates: [kicking in door]  
Paresky: oh shit no

Oates: you the thought criminals?
Paresky: n-no joyce please
Oates: cuz i got some thought crimes to commit
Paresky: no joyce stop!!
Oates: first of all whats the deal with halloween
Paresky: [weeping] she's too powerful!! make her stop!!!