Another gift guide but this one has adventure cats.

Hey friends,

Hope you’re all hanging in there. We’ve got a fun Gender Conceal episode with Lee Lai(!) all ready for you rn, but I didn’t want it to get lost in the weekend slush pile, so I’m holding onto it for now and we’ll talk about it next week.

In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to make a little gift guide… and then I remembered that I published a gift guide last year that contained most of the sweet queer stuff I would recommend. I suppose it doesn’t really matter because I don’t think anyone has ever actually used a gift guide***, but if you are looking for ideas, start there so u don’t miss the piss mug, etc.

***I clicked on the Wirecutter gift guide just to see what was going on in there and here are real items that I found: baguette-shaped candle, macaron-shaped soap, butter-shaped notepad, blanket that looks like a tortilla, Post-it notes with a tomato on them. Are people purchasing these??? Do consumers really only want food-themed novelty items?? Whatever.

Anyway, feel free to add other suggestions in the comments! And sorry that I didn’t put pictures in here; I realize a good gift guide needs pictures but I don’t want to do all that :) Okay, here we go.

Reading:

• Get your trans friend Caro’s book or the Both/And collection if they want to have a sincere moment, or Sam Szabo’s Enlightened Transsexual Comix if they’re tired.

• Give Dean’s latest book to anyone who finds themselves in Conflict or human relationships.

• The Adventure Cats book is a good gift even for people who do not want to adventurize their cats because it’s mostly about looking at pictures of adventurous cats and going “aww wow.”

• Buy someone a subscription to your favorite newsletter/media outlet! Maybe they want to read about sports/creatures/baking from Defector, or local news from Hell Gate or COYOTE or etc., or queer advice from Maddy Court, or a zillion Links I Would GChat, or whatever JP is up to. Idk, what do you read? Get them that.

  • I’m feeling weird about linking to Substacks btw so let me shout out folks like Rax King and Frankie de la Cretaz and Luke Hell World and Rusty Tabs who very wisely keep their monetized newsletters off that platform!

Reading the future??:

• Did I really not mention the Pasta Tarot last year??? There’s no better cheap ($22!) gift than the Pasta Tarot. (Wait, am I doing the thing that I made fun of Wirecutter for doing?? Help.)

• No spoilers but we’re going to talk about Barry Lee’s oracle deck on Gender Reveal next month — if you snag one now, you’ll be ahead of the game!

• A calendar is like reading the future, or something, and this collaborative riso calendar is going to be so cute I bet! I bought last year’s, and this one will be BRIGHT which is fun.

More paper goods:

• My friends at Pal’s Plants offer customized monthly zine subscriptions for only $15. Fun!

• I will link to Io’s work every time because their stuff rules. Get a bunch of these crowd-pleasers!

• One of my favorite gifts is to buy a fun card and write like “I donated $100 (or $20 or whatever) to the PCRF (or G.L.I.T.S. or Astoria Food Pantry or Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary or a GoFundMe or whatever they care about) in your name!” Crucially, you should actually donate that money, lmao.

Stuff to eat:

• My most Cathy-like quality (ACK!) is that I need chocolate in the house at all times. I am almost never eating Mr. Tom Bumble and his friends (because it’s hard to get in NYC and I’m not dedicated enough to order online) but I’m often wishing I was eating them!!!!

• Brooklyn Delhi makes beautiful gift boxes featuring their many delicious sauces and they’re all on sale right now! Great gift for anyone who eats food.

• Fly By Jing also has their spicy Sichuan gift sets on sale and they are tempting me personally. Chili crisp is a great gift because it’s just fancy enough to feel luxurious.

• My ancient Vitamix just broke so I bought an even older one on eBay and it doesn’t really work. This has made me realize that there is nothing more valuable than a Vitamix. If you’re rich, you should buy someone a Vitamix and change their life.

Stuff to wear:

• I have bought several of Zach Ozma’s novelty pins for my friends and you can too!

• If you have queer people in your life, there’s a good chance that they are pining for at least one item from the big Bird Collective sale. I have five(?) Bird Collective items so I’m trying to cut myself off from further purchases but my will is being tested.

• If you’re shopping for a queer woman, you should get them an Ellie the Elephant shirt UNLESS they hate the Liberty due to fierce WNBA rivalries.

Tuck self-promo:

• Everything’s still 15% off in the Girl Dad shop thru Sunday with code THECITY, plus Sex Change and the Citys come with a free full-color print while supplies last.

• As I mentioned last year, Patreon offers gift subscriptions now, so you could buy a pal a year of Gender Conceal (or a month or whatever) if they love this specific type of gender garbaggio.

If all else fails: a queer person in your town definitely makes and sells ceramics.

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s your weekly Rhubarb:

Oh, another good gift is commissioning your friend (or gay artist you follow on Instagram or whatever) to make a pet portrait. Here’s Kit Mills’ beautiful portrait of Puffin.

Xo,

Yr resident gender detective