Winter Bulk: Week 4

I gained five pounds this week, which is definitely a new record for me. At this point there’s no denying this is a certified dirty ass bulk. Healthy fats and carbs are great and all, don’t get me wrong. I’m definitely piling avocado on my tacos and blowing through bags of trail mix like it's nothing, but you can’t beat a fresh burger or chinese food or cinnamon rolls. Fuck, food is just so enjoyable. It feels great giving in to any and every craving that crosses my mind. I honestly would recommend anyone to try it out just for a week because it feels so great to let loose. 

Not surprisingly, I’m starting to see the weight show up on my belly. It’s definitely gotten softer and squisher. It’s kind of fun to play with. I’ve been so allergic to having any ounce of fat on my body for so long that it’s exhilarating to just give in to the pudge! I’ve also built some muscle mass, mostly in my arms. Altogether now my shirts are feeling a bit more snug. I can definitely sense the weight gain but I don’t think others can notice, or if they do they’re being polite and not saying anything. 

At least, that’s what seemed to be happening at the Halloween party. I didn’t really dress up, only throwing on a pair of devil horns and an old red T-shirt. The shirt was tight. Like, skin tight. It showed off my body considerably, even the bit of chub clinging to my abs, but no one said anything. Plus, I drank so much hard cider and ate so much candy that I became seriously bloated. Still, though- no comments! 

I get it though, it’s not politically correct to comment on people’s bodies anymore. Especially if they’re getting fatter I think it's pretty taboo to say anything. Don’t want to cause an eating disorder or anything. I’m just going to wait it out and keep bulking up though. I’m going to get so large that people can’t help but say something. Even strangers. I’m not going to stop until everyone notices my girth. 

After the party I was so hungover that I wanted to die. I could barely get out of bed to chug water and gatorade. It took me awhile but eventually I got up the energy to make two cartons of ravioli for breakfast. Afterwards I smoked a bunch of weed and stopped at a corner store to grab some Halloween candy. I got two massive bags, like the kind you get when you live in a suburban neighborhood and there’s going to be trick or treaters all night. Except the bags were not for trick or treaters. The bags were for me. 

I spent the rest of the day munching on candies and watching horror movies. For lunch I ordered pizza and for dinner I made chocolate chip pancakes. I basically had my meals in reverse and inhaled bite sized candies all the while. By the end of the day my bed was legitimately covered in candy wrappers. It looked so ridiculous but I gave zero fucks. 

I straight up just fell asleep with them still there. When I woke up the next morning I had wrappers stuck to my skin and chocolate smeared in some ungodly places. The wife beater I was wearing was so stained that I ended up just throwing it away. 

Unfortunately I didn’t work out Halloween day or the day after. And the day after that I still felt groggy so I skipped the work out again. I’m going to get back into the swing of things though.