Through Me (The Flood)

"I think we should keep the constellation theme." You bury your face in his chest as he cups the back of your head. When your fingers fist in his shirt and you gulp, he moves down your spine, kneading and stroking, trying to soothe the nausea.

"Do you need to get up?"

"No, I"m-" You shudder, and then jerk upright, hand over your mouth.

Two seconds later, you're running for the bathroom.

It's been like this for two weeks. You're sick in the afternoons, at night. You manage to keep down soup, and crackers, and he keeps water bottles full of electrolytes throughout the house.

He's helpless. Useless to you. Only able to stand by and give you comfort as you toss the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl.

He didn't handle your last doctor's appointment particularly well. You were fairly calm and collected, while he was a mess, demanding treatments and options for something that they wouldn't be able to cure. Morning sickness is normal, even if it comes during the day or at night, the doctor told him. There's no need to worry unless it gets considerably worse. 

You cough, and he finds the handle to flush. "I'm sorry sweetheart." He puts the cool washcloth on your neck, urging you to lean back against him. Your lashes are wet, whites of your eyes turned red, and guilt burrows in the back of his mind. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," you're peering up at him, and he uses the cloth to wipe your lips, the corner of your mouth as you sag against his chest. "It was the same with Ry."

"When will it stop?"

"Soon. Last time it was around twenty weeks, so shouldn't be too much longer." You press closer and he holds you tight, circling his thumb in your belly, stroking up and down as you take deep, long breaths.

"C'mon. Let's get back in bed."

"What about Pyxis?"

"Tell me about it." This never gets old. He could lay here and hold you for the rest of his life, listening to you tell him all about the stars, the constellations, where they are, how far away, why they're named.

"It's named after a compass, like the ones ship captains use. We could call them Pixie with a y for short." You frown. "I guess Pyxie isn't really gender neutral. Pyx, maybe?" He hums.

"I'm not sure either of those fall in the neutral category." You're both committed to the surprise. Maybe life's biggest, if he's honest, waiting to find out if the baby is a boy or girl, and because of it, the two of you decided to focus on gender neutral names. It's made the list shorter, but he's relishing every moment. He didn't get this last time, didn't get to hold you as you rattled off a million ideas. Didn't get to hear you excited you were when you finally decided on Orion.

He's soaking it up now.

"Aries?" He shakes his head.

"Too masculine."

"Corvus? Corvus for a boy, and then Core as a nickname for a girl?"

"He'd be cool, she'd get teased without mercy." You wince.

"I like Lyra, the harp, but it's too feminine. What about Vela?"

"What is it?"

"It's a constellation that's like part of big constellation, I think technically. It's latin, for sails of a ship."

"The A on the end always fucks with me," he murmurs, lips on your forehead, "it doesn't sound neutral."

"I still don't hate Pyxis." you chirp, wrapping around him. His hands slide to your belly and stay there.

"Let's think about it." He tugs your knee up to his thigh, turning you on your side to help you get comfortable, and you sigh.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

In the dark, not even an hour later, your voice rasps in a whisper against his ear. "What about Phoenix." It's not a question, and he pauses. "It's named after the myth. We could call them Nix for short. It works whichever way you want." Phoenix.  

It's more than a constellation. It's rebirth. New beginnings. Transformation. Everything you've given him, everything the two of you have built together.

"It's perfect."