Talking To Myself (And Hints At Greater Things)

Hello dearest Egglets. Here I am again, Slithering into your Proverbials. As I read back the below missive to myself, it reads to me like a letter written by an 18th Century baron to his estranged friend abroad, which he sends from a remote castle in Eastern Europe somewhere, where he is staying at the year-long expense of his generous but increasingly regretful host, Baron Von Tresburgenshrift. I recommend you supping upon the words below with that flavour in mind.

I wanted to provide you with some reflections on where I've been, where I am and where I'm headed, creatively. And also, to braindump upon you the bits I've been finding more tricky, in the hope of finding some clarity with regard to my own intentions as I write this. Hmm. Perhaps a little selfish to self-therapise in this mode, with you as a bouncing board? But, it does genuinely help me reflect on and unpick my creative decisions; I spend a lot of time inside my own head doing all this stuff, trying to navigate the many directions in which this train could divert. It feels increasingly, excitingly, like there are more and more paths opening up, and so clarifying where I'm intending to go with it out loud, or at least to semi-strangers online, is so helpful to me. Apologies no apologies!

Also, I hope to be countering this self-involved angle by teasing you some things I've been working on below...

Chrysler Benson. I'm so busy with writing and performing at the moment. Making my Own Things, being paid by Other People to make Their Things, and for the first time ever in the last few months - something I dreamed of years ago when I first conceived this project in the crooked nook of my cerebellum - being paid by Other People to make my Own Things. It's amazing and exciting and it's a whiff of a lot of the things I always hoped for. I'm feeling very grateful, and proud of myself for sticking it out through the duldrum years, etc.

But inevitably, with all this frantic business comes a grief for the passing of the idyllic times of old. Maybe two years ago, where was paying me to do anything except my employers at a day job I half cared about. And I was doing all this music stuff at night, around my obligations, and was doing it entirely for the sake of trying to Make Something Good, regardless of who saw or heard it. It was exciting and fulfilling and mind-broadening and empridening! But - lest I forget - also lonely and open-ended and nerve-wracking in its potential futility. I'm so happy to be in this new stage - in the last 12 months I've solidified myself (in my own brain, and I think in others') as Someone Who Does This, and my financial position is so much more settled as a result. What a crazy gift to have received, that few receive. And it is worth much more to me, in so many ways, than the struggle I romanticise. However much I miss making whatever I like whenever I want - not being subject to creative deadlines - I would never trade back now. 

I have no other wise reflection on this feeling, I really just wanted to note in this moment this change of sensation I've had over the last few months. This really is My Job Now. I am become my Own Boss. And with it comes all the associated perks and pitfalls, and the attempts to secretly watch Youtube videos about the History of The London Underground when he isn't looking.

In terms of the things I'm working on (as yet not officially announced, so I will need to be vague)... Next week, I am filming something that will be broadcast on National Television. Yes it'll be Jazz Emu's first TV gig (if you discount the 1979 Winter Olympics Fiasco - not to be detailed here). I'm doing some classic hits from my show last year, as well as one song I've never performed live before. Wish me luck.

I'm also excited to say I've been commissioned to write an audio show by a Pretty Big British Entertainment Establishment (not to be named). I'll be co-writing the show with Adrian Gray, a long time collaborator and creator of the incredible Forgotten History series on Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@AdrianGrayComedy). I love working with Adrian. He is a machine for the stuff. We will have been writing together for a decade this year, and I continue to learn lots from the way his mind works. It'll feature lots of my songs -  some old, some new - and some fun storylines. We're already full of ideas, and will be recording in the Autumn. The show won't be released till late Spring time 2024, according to their schedule, so I regret that you'll have to wait with baited breath until then...

In addition to this, I've been beavering away at some new live material, some of which will be gracing the stage at Edinburgh Fringe in the next few weeks (https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/jazz-emu-s-pleasure-garden), and some of which will make up some of the London show in November (https://claphamgrand.com/event/jazz-emus-pleasure-garden/). I know, I know, very UK centric. One of the main things I have got some perspective on over the last year, from joining some extremely fun tours is just how difficult it is to tour a show: how afraid The Man is of backing you to sell tickets, how hard it is to secure a good tour manager, how gruelling and fun it is on the road. But the long term vision has always been to bring a show of Whatever I Do to Whoever Want To See It, wherever that may be. Heck, I'll take it to the forthcoming Musk Mars Colony if there's appetite, and I can secure the appropriate Space VISA! 

BUT bringing things back to planet earth, for those of you in the Southern Hemisphere, look out for an Emu barrelling through the planet's core, as I may WELL be coming to greet you with a compilation show before the end of this year. I'm feeling amazing about the full band show. It's so fun to do, I love the collaborative effort, the standing audience, the general atmos, and I think next year I'm going to produce a full new narrative hour with the band all playing roles too. It's going to be big and live and exciting and - hopefully - Tourable. 

Some of you have rightly been asking about the odyssey which I have embarked on (rewriting the Odyssey). What's going on? Did I bite off more than I can chew? Jazz Emu could never. I have written or at least half-written a whole load of songs for it (almost a dozen), as well as mapped out the whole story arc. In doing so, it's becoming extremely clear to me that the budget needed to make this Actually Good is far beyond the shoestring video budget we've been working with. It's the kind of thing that's going to need funds from Other People - whether that's a big chunky kickstarter or some investment from Higher Ups, I'm not sure... 

But I need to be sure the product is flawless before attempting either of these - and I think there's a project of mid-level ambition between these states to show we've got what it takes to take on the Beast. I've got something in mind - a way of bending the new live show into a unique and visually recordable story or sorts, for all to watch - and I think it's going to take all my strengths next year. I have been really reluctant to share them because they're at such early stages, and it's always my instinct to give you something I feel really proud of, not something I feel like I might be proud of one day. But here's a couple of the half-written songs, with clunky flat demos, to show you where the project might go eventually. Featuring me singing very quietly to avoid disturbing my housemates. I've added lyrics so you can decipher them more clearly.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1T6CvDnLe0hmt41NUKuTVuYpIEOZjldxE?usp=sharing

The dream is to assemble a cast of a selection of my performative heroes to play these characters alongside me. Who knows, it might take half a decade. It doesn't trouble me, I know have the desire and wherewithall to see it through!

What else? I must apologise. I know I promised more livestreams, and I fully intend to do them. I'm sorry they always end up coming secondary to making new content. Sadly I'm still in the stage where I need to keep feeding the algorithms with new creations to keep my financial situation stable right now (I'm very reliant on Youtube and Spotify at the moment to live, as almost all Patreon monies are being reinvested in the music video creations as they expand in ambition and scope - all co-creators and performers are to be paid their worth and no less!). And with disappearing for weeks on end to do shows, it's proving hard to keep the content machine whirring. But when I come up for air after Edinburgh in September, I want to do a breakdown of the new Eggerson video. So much for Hunter and myself to unpack there.

As always, what more is there to say? I owe you all so much, which is why I love pouring myself into these missives. It genuinely means a lot to have people attentive to my next movements and willing to give feedback. So thanks for your investment, financially, attentionally, emotionally - whatever shape it takes for you! I am happy to be making.

JE Loves U xx