Shared World Project - Chapter 3

The next day was like a blur, nothing else mattering until I was able to get back home and login. It reminded me of the old days, when I was younger and would spend summers locked away raiding with my friends. Brad was the only one left of the crew who still hopped on from time to time, but the feeling hadn’t been the same. 

Now I was quickly chugging an energy shake, setting up, and logging in as giddy as a school boy. 

Only, before it let me go further the logo vanished to an image of Cynthia at her desk, giving me that same playful smile as last time. 

“Ryan, it’s standard practice to check in before your second… interaction. Is everything going as well as you’d hoped?”

Aside from the fact that she was interrupting my time, I put on my best smile and said, “Perfectly, thank you.”

“No questions?”

“Very well.” Her eyes moved as if reading something on the screen. “Oh, I see you’ve only stayed in your true form so far. I’d like to let you know you can port over any avatars you’d like. Same with location—you don’t have to stay in the field. It’s all up to you. Want to charge around as an angel fighting evil with her? You can. Want to be intimate? Hey, you can even add a couple inches, if you—”

“Not necessary,” I said, wondering what this lady’s problem was. Then again, she worked for LivreCorp, which meant she probably had access to all the information out there. “To be clear, you don’t… I mean, I haven’t authorized you all to look up that sort of information.”

She laughed on the other end of the call, and shrugged. “We would never betray our clients’ trust, Ryan. Count on that.”

I definitely couldn’t count on that. Especially judging by the way she was looking at me now. 

“All I wanted to do was ask… well, I don’t know really….” This could’ve been thought through better. “I guess… is it normal to feel confusion after the first time? Does that sensation go away?”

Her brow creased slightly, but it was gone a moment later. “We can have tech there… me. I can come over now, if you’d like.”

“No, no. I meant, like a sense of unease. Queasiness. I’d like to login now, please.”

With a polite nod, she vanished and the imagery flashed to white and then vanished so that I was in the field again. This time I didn’t wait, but ran straight for where I’d found Katie before. She was there, and in a flash we were in each other’s arms, spinning, laughing, then kissing. 

The sensation of her lips against mine made all the tough, slogging bullshit of life vanish. When she pulled back, there was a moment of confusion that passed through her eyes.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. 

She laughed. “Of course it is. Perfection, now that you’re here.”

My hand slid away from her hips, tracing her arm and then taking her hand, fingers locked in hers as I looked at it, almost unable to believe this was happening. Well, then again I had to remind myself that it wasn’t actually happening. But that wasn’t a fun way to think, so I pushed the thought away and focused on the moment. 

She was staring at my hand, too, I realized, and her eyes rose to meet mine. “Why… Why are you here?”

“To see you. To spend time with you.” I leaned in and kissed her again. “To do that, as many times as is possible.”

Her smile was a gulp of warm cider, though I pondered for a moment at the idea of Cynthia out there, monitoring these sessions. That would be something I’d have to ask about—surely they couldn’t spy on us, right? Or could, but wouldn’t. It had to be in the agreement, especially since, I imagined, anything was possible in this world. Anything. My eyes roamed down to Katie’s neckline, a bit lower where her white dress revealed a tad more than I was used to from her. 

“Ah, I see why you’re really here,” she said, playfully, and then stepped back in a skipping motion. “Gotta catch me first!”

She turned and ran, laughing, and I pursued without hesitation. Her dress fluttered behind her, teasing me, calling to me like angel wings. Her laugh carried through the wind, warming the heart I’d spent recently icing over, a necessity  in order to survive ever since that horrible day. 

My legs stumbled as I remembered the moment when I’d received the news, that day on the couch, dropping the phone, running to the door only to realize I had nowhere to go… so instead collapsing to my knees, forehead pressed to the cold, hardwood floor as I let out a roar of anger… then I’d let the first tears since I was a child flow out. Oh, unless you count that time Katie convinced me to watch some old-ass movie called The Notebook, but fuck that movie. It was stupid, and I still stand by my claim that I had an eyelash or something in my eye.

She turned back to face me, worry creasing her brow. It was enough to push the memories aside, to give me the energy to lunge, grabbing her by the hips and lifting her into the air to spin, both of us laughing. We collapsed in the grass on the incline of a hill, and rolled down a few times before she landed on me, her mouth taking mine, her hands moving across my body. I let out a moan as her hand went to my inner thigh, but then I took her by the wrist, again wondering what they’d be seeing back at LivreCorp. This was an alpha test, after all. It made sense that they’d be monitoring it all in some way. As much as the idea of exhibitionism kind of made me curious, I at least wanted to know what I was getting into. 

“Next time,” I said between kisses, moving her hand back to my side. 

“Next… time?” She rolled off, of me, suddenly cold, distant. A second glance, and then she was on her back, staring up at the sky. “You’re leaving again.”

“I can’t stay forever.” As much as I’d have liked to, my body would need food, to use the restroom. Stuff like that. 

For a long time we lay there, with her apparently lost in thought, me watching her as if I could stare long enough and commit the sensation of being with her to memory. 

“Really, Ryan…” She turned to me, propping herself up on her elbow. “Why are you here? Did something happen? Are you… I mean… Are you, dead… too?”

I frowned, pulled back, looked around. “This isn’t funny.”

“Funny?” 

“None of this is,” I said, standing, stepping away from her. “You’re not supposed to say things like that, you know. I mean… Fuck!” I spun, looking at the sky. “Cynthia!” 

“I—I don’t understand.” Katie sat, pulling my face to meet her gaze. “Who?”

Cursing under my breath, I grumbled something about her not worrying about it, then logged out. What kind of bullshit simulator of a lost one brings up the fact that they’re dead? Full immersion and believability my ass. 

The first thing I did was try to reach LivreCorp, but even though Cynthia had been so in my face before I went off to the field, now it said no tech was available. What the fuck?

I unplugged myself and sauntered over to the restroom to relieve myself. The body is put in a certain meditative state when in the rig, meaning it can go longer without food or bathroom breaks, but I must’ve been in longer than I realized, because I needed to go real bad. 

Also, apparently the final moment with Katie hadn’t ruined what we’d had going on before that, because I was hard as a rock. It took some manipulating, but soon I was able to get in a good position to relieve myself and not get piss all over the place. As would be expected, the moment I was done the memory of Katie’s ‘dead’ question came back, finally killing the boner. 

It was so off putting, I almost didn’t want to log in anymore. 

As I was tucking it away, my eyes lingered on it longer than usual, remembering Cynthia’s comment about a couple of extra inches. No, fuck that. I’d always been well received in that area. She was just getting to me. 

Then again, would Katie like the changeup? Kind of like role playing, in a sense… What the fuck was I talking about? She wasn’t real, dammit. That odd question proved it more than anything, and showed that the system was having its glitches. 

I wanted her to be actually there, for the whole experience to fully trick my mind. But somehow seeing her like that—as real as she seemed—reminded me even more of how she wasn’t there to brush her teeth with me, to laugh over a meal of teriyaki chicken, or share a beer. 

With a quick zip of my pants, I went to wash my hands. I leaned over the sink and splashed cold water over my face and stood to grab the towel, eyes mostly closed, when my hand brushed over what felt like flesh. 

I started, turning and saw only the towel. With a blink of confusion, I turned back to the mirror, drying my face, and froze. 

Eyes staring at me over my shoulder. I spun, but there was nothing there. Looking to the mirror again, I didn’t see anything there either. Had I imagined it? But as I walked out of there, I swear there was something else moving behind the clouded glass of the shower door. I looked back, even opened the door, and saw nothing. 

My heart was thudding and I felt like a stupid child. There was no reason to be scared. I was a grown man, dammit. Telling myself that over and over, however, didn’t do a damn thing to dispel the eerie sensation that someone was watching me. A hand was on my shoulder, only when I turned, there wasn’t. 

Breathing close, almost in my ear. 

No one. 

A glance at the window, and even the clouds moving past the moon, whose normally calming silvery light gave me comfort, sent chills up my spine. Like looking at them was the same as seeing into the afterlife, seeing a glimpse of my Katie. Was that all this was? Had seeing a representation of her sent me into a confused state, not quite knowing what was real and what wasn’t?

I turned in bed, trying to forget about it. I lay there thinking about Katie, about the eyes in the mirror. Fuck, I would’ve loved to have her at my side in that moment. Maybe I needed more sleep, but that sure as hell wasn’t about to happen. Not with these thoughts running through my mind. 

Fuck trying to sleep, I decided as I sat up and threw my feet over the edge of the bed. I was logging back in. I needed to see her.