BB's Dirty thoughts; Jan 30th

Let us consider the vulva.

The vagina. The pussy. A woman's intimate parts. A peach. Her love-hole. Her cunt, her slit, her snatch. Her orchid, as I like to call it. Something straight men (or just woman-attracted men) and I have in common is a deep and unabated obsession with a lady's bits.

I have said before that I could spend several long, lazy, sexual hours just drawing my tongue over a woman, nice and deep, to bring consistent and regular stimulation... the occasional orgasm. Could spend an entire Afternoon doing it.

Something I have the great benefit of knowing, as a bisexual, is how Well many lesbians eat pussy and how often women skimp through their male lover's cunnilingus simply because while appreciated, the skill lacks. So, in the interest of expanding the skillset of those oral lovers out there, I thought I'd draw a couple of highlights of both things I love to do, and have done to me.

To start, nothing is a bigger turnoff than not understanding my anatomy. The "vagina" is actually only just the passage- the full bits are referred to as the vulva. Thusly, women don't pee out of our vagina, we pee out of our urethra, just below the clitoris. The clitoris, not at all a myth (just like the g-spot! Very much a reality!) is a large and mostly internal organ, capable of growing three times it's size when aroused. (Which makes sense, because the cells emerge from the same place in a zygote, making them a very similar bodypart to the penis.  (WHAT BB, you say, I thought the clitoris was a tiny nub??? Nope! Turns out, that's just the tip of the clit- the rest of it is internal.)

https://theconversation.com/why-the-clitoris-doesnt-get-the-attention-it-deserves-and-why-this-matters-53157  

Now that the clinical is out of the way... let's talk about the fun parts.

Most of pleasure women experience is external- so many more ripe, juicy nerve endings, and just as many thoughts about sex as men have. (Just ask science!) The internal and external orgasm, while the same creature, definitely come along with different sensations. It would be wrong to say they were separate things, but it's definitely possible to experience one and not the other. (Personally, and indeed is the preference of all the women I have had relations with, there is a great love for external stimulus whilst internal things are going on. The internal orgasm is deeper, richer, more intense... but quite frankly, the external orgasm is juicy, enthralling, and most importantly, much easier to achieve. Thusly, in the bulk of our solo masturbation, we're playing with outer bits.

(Think of the orgasms achievable through the prostate. They're deep and intense, but that involves getting the rings of the anus to behave and that's a WHOLE thing- if you're just heading for bed or horny because of something delicious you've been thinking about... why go to all that trouble when the penis is right there?)

The g-spot is- surprise surprise- part of the clitoral network! It's also often not that deep in- just two or three inches generally, and up. Where exactly it is, of course, is going to vary woman to woman, but if you're thoroughly invested in her pleasure, and she's comfortable with you, a woman will be Very receptive to the comment "show me where it feels good".

Now, it's a sad reality that many women don't feel confident or safe to tell their male lovers what really does it for them, and there are many understandable reasons for this. It can be massively frustrating to not simply be told what's enjoyable, and I completely empathize- I Hate it when I'm not communicated with; I totally get it. But as women, even if, like me, you FULLY reject the outdated notion and embrace your own sexuality... we're still conditioned to be a man's mom, therapist and caretaker. It's our unspoken duty to "not hurt his feelings" and just brush aside lackluster cunnilingus, and endure unsatisfying sex, or worse, sex we don't want.

But it's the 21st century! We're not in a March of Dimes Fuck'a'thon; if we're having sex, it's for an equal share of the pleasure-! That is how sex SHOULD work- whether it's for love or recreation, everyone involved should be enjoying it.

It can feel a little awkward at first, but when a woman feels you're attentive to her needs and not just diving in and assuming what she wants, when you ask and pay attention, boy LORD do those floodgates come open! Even shy women know- if she's masturbated, she knows where she likes it, trust me.

I almost never go for penetration right away- I draw gentle, teasing lines up and down the full length of the vulva. Not just anywhere, but confident strokes over the slit of the peach, to awaken those juicy nerves. Never, EVER underestimate playing with her through her panties- the mask of fabric distributes sensation more evenly, making ALL of the nerves come to attention. This is especially true of women with thin pubic hair and groomed or shaved pussies.  Lots of touching is key- stroking the thighs, breasts, ass (a favourite spot of mine is the base of the ass, right where it joins with the thigh. I LOVE to be gently- or roughly!- bitten there.)

I can't stand it (in a bad way) when someone licks me at the junction of thigh and vulva. To me, this indicates a lover that wants to tease but has no knowledge of HOW to tease- light stroking of the slit and clit is an INCREDIBLE tease, and those light, ghost-like sensations will NEVER make us come on it's own, and thusly make the PERFECT tease. I know a good lover RIGHT away- if they breathe hot on my panties, lick me through it, lower my cotton, silk, satin or latex and apply their tongue in a teasing caress against my clit hood, my eyes roll back, I grip the sheets, I KNOW I have a good lover on my hands. Driving a woman out of her mind comes through stimulation of the bud of that sweet, SWEET organ.

Having seen a great many flowers, let me assure you that they come in all SORTS of sizes and shapes. No two are the same. The sexiest pussy I've ever seen reminded me of the delicate folds of an oyster, and tasted just as complex, delicate, sweet and intoxicating. (That was a previous lover on her wedding night, no less. And she certainly wasn't getting married to me! ;) All above board and with hubby's knowledge and consent, natch) but the porn star small internal labia is only one way women come-!

(Some examples : https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/82855f90bed3f018c89f7f84865875909ea8b7e2/0_123_4288_2572/master/4288.jpg?width=700&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=3b26a8a7638bc238f02fac076c601cdc )

The stroking starts as a flicker; light, tender caresses that tease. Maybe a few open tongue strokes... but the money is on the back and forth across the hood, in a consistent and rhythmic pattern. Same pressure, same speed. Stacattoed with a full up and down lick, then right back to that maddened tonguing of her clit- keeping my pace even while her juices run down my chin...

The torturously sweet sin of delving between a woman’s folds, inhaling her scent, nearly high on the olfactory, making out with her sweet flower and making her writhe and grip the sheets. . . and tribbing-! Don’t even get me started. There is something so sensuous and yet overwhelming about pressing sex to sex, a carnal sort of base pleasure-seeking that is somehow so deeply connected, horny and writhing and churning towards that sweet release that you can Feel, her gripping sensations pulling you right along with her as she rides your own orchid. . .

Only once I have her nice and cross-eyed in external bliss do I bring penetration into the game, and I do it with a g-spot flutter- a tried and true curling (NOT thrusting) digital technique that involves a sort of "come hither" motion but much, much faster. (Remember darlings- three inches or so, in AND up) Eventually you do put your whole hand into it and it's Kind of like a thrust, but one that's angled back at you, pressing against her upper walls.

Works every time. ;)

Oh and- don't pull back the clit hood and contact the clitoris directly, right from the beginning. It's like grabbing the cockhead after orgasm, so I've been told- the sensation is Sharp, overwhelming, and a bit painful. Tongue strokes will eventually naturally come up against the clitoris directly as it exposes itself, and that will feel good. But DON'T pull it back and go for it right away, unless she likes the sharp stabby overwhelming thing. (A few do; most don't.) And NEVER spit in the pussy without checking if she likes that sort of thing first.  That's a porn thing. Some women are into it, but you Need To Check First, otherwise that's a one-way-ticket to massive turn off land. And the right time to check is NOT when you are down between her legs... even the mention can be off-putting. If she's into you, and thinking about fucking you, trust me, it'll come out in the sexting. It's a far safer bet to assume that spitting on a pussy Isn't her thing.

And for the love of fuck, darlings- give a shit about her pleasure. Listen to her words, to her body- that's the way I attract most of the women I do. (I may be an attractive woman, but trust me- why I earn the pleasure of feminine companionship has more to do with my confident personality and how well I pay attention to who they are and their needs. Balancing the right amount of flirt with the correct level of attention and BAM- right there in the club or museum bathroom.)

And unless you're a gay man... my GOD, is there anything more Beautiful than a ripe, juicy, hungry and willing pussy brushing against you, ready to unfurl it's delights and welcome you in?

Have any questions about cunnilingus? There are no bad questions.... I'm an open book, darlings.