BB's dirty thoughts, 9 Jan

Bed is such a Wonderful lover.

He is comforting, kind, is there to support you when times are tough and need someone to hold you. He is silent, understanding, and you can just cry it out till you're ready to rest, and it will be there for you. You can get off off on him, or just cuddle; he's down for whatever, easygoing and gentle. No emotional violence, no weight of the world, just weightless, gentle caring at the end of a tough day.

I was thinking earlier today that I might, as a cute bit of comedy, record a slightly comedic comfort audio as "Bed", the loving girlfriend that soothes away your troubles. Not as like, Bed-chan or whatever (har) but the kind of things that you want to hear when you're faced with some of life's toughest monsters.

I'm really going through it right now, and the First thing that came to my mind is "how can I help other people NOT feel like this", and that's what hit me, aheh. I will be alright; I had a run in with some harassers (Marco Metro and Silver Sable) that ranged the gamut from guilt trip to outright berating and harassing, one of which who was a mod at a Discord I do not intend to stay in, both of whom are military and know how to scare people, especially women they feel owe them therapy and free entertainment. When I reported the harassment, Count Julius suggested that harassment needs to go to the mods- that women need to shuffle their affairs into the dark, where no one has to see or deal with them. Another mod agreed. Marco deleted my report, covering up the harassment. The mod ostensibly handling the case gave me the Very predictable 20 questions (Fuck Victim Blaming) to which I just handed over screenshots, not willing to give my harassers fuel to retaliate- it should have been a 15 minute conversation. It was 3.5 hours.

He also referred to it as a "witch hunt"- a dangerous, awful term when women are coming forward about harassment.

"Characterizing accusations of sexual assault as a witch hunt reframes the traditional power dynamic. Men in positions of authority are accused of sexual deviance or misbehavior, rather than women with comparatively less power. Labeling these accusations a witch hunt suggests they amount to an illegitimate power grab by women rather than a reflection of the widespread abuse of women by men in positions of power over them. In this respect, the term is used to support the status quo when it comes to sexual harassment — one in which sexual harassment is common and the men who harass women face few consequences for their misconduct."

-Vox article on the history of the term

My resources were limited, and my real life support network response was mixed- I'm really glad Ryan (GamerTron) was there to remind me of my worth and value. He is very, Very good friend and ally, and I feel very forunate to have come within his sphere.

He reminded me why he never joined that Discord in the first place.

Still, that aside, the desire to make positive things from whatever is going on in my life is STRONG! How would people feel about the kind of soft, pillow talky type audio that's not... so much full of the usual care audio platitudes, but more of a

"I'm here. I've got you. Nothing can hurt you here. You are safe. The world may be a Fucking Mess, but nothing should rob you of your rest which you so rightfully need and deserve. Just stay in my arms and feel cherished" kinda thing?



(*It should be noted that while Marco was removed from mod status, he was not removed from the server, despite violating it's own rules. The mod kinda handling the thing is pressuring me to give him direction onto how to handle him, which is not my job; I don't feel safe doling out consequences, being that this dude already has enough bile to guilt trip and send his military buddies to harass me. I will remind him of this when I am able to get back to it. For now, I'm gonna get some exercise and focus on making amazing content.

**It should be noted that BaronBubbles is awesome, kind, and was the one mod who actually responded with something helpful.)