FFD 80 pre beta
Added 2025-10-31 14:56:26 +0000 UTCHi guys I finished the chapter! (About to run off to Youmacon and just finished the chapter the morning of the event)
Bye guys! Tell me your thoughts!! WOOO!
Comments
Thrilling chapter to read through. Feedback - ‘Literal’ or ‘literally’ is used over 20 times. Sometimes used for unnecessary emphasis, IMO. - First Hassan is peak, as expected. Good way of including him too, as it speaks to the rule-defying nature of Heroic Spirits—Of course there is someone whose sins alone possess an ego. - Cool in-text reflection of EMIYA succumbing to Angry Mango’s corruption. - Angry Mango himself feels great to read, especially that one moment where he senses the momentum shifting away from him. A fissure ruptured from the silhouette’s chest, shining a near radioactive blue. A corrupted yet pure blue well of mana shone from beneath the skin. - Kind of difficult to understand what’s happening here (Is it like Emiya Alter’s Kintsugi effect?). Dunno if “pure” is the right word here… maybe ‘hyper-concentrated’? ‘Super-dense’? The latter definitely applies to Shirou in more than one way. “... Ah. So you know what’s going on after all.” Avenger’s confident smile was less than half of what it was seconds prior. He looked at Shirou’s expression with greater scrutiny and saw something he should have picked up earlier. “You’re watching it too, aren’t you? Right alongside, no, behind him him.” - Repeated word. They were on a clock on multiple fronts. Either the Servants and Masters ran out of mana, or Avenger finished fulfilling Archer’s wish. Either would spell their end. Until then, everyone would keep fighting in this absurd free for all to their last. That Assassin near Kiritsugu was of absurd help, distracting the enemy, but it wasn’t enough to turn things around. - First sentence is a weird turn of phrase. Maybe ‘They were on a clock in more ways than one. Or use ‘time limit’. - ‘Absurd’ is used twice. Maybe ’That assassin was an unexpected blessing’? - ‘Absurd’ is also used a lot in this chapter, in fact… maybe mix it up a bit? Thanks again for the chapter!
BeyondDoubt
2025-11-17 19:14:50 +0000 UTCGood to see you're doing okay, enjoy your time at the con.We all need a little bit of happiness in our life.And as usual , some great hype buildup to a hopefully , an awesome climax this is a fun series, but I'm not gonna lie.Looking forward to getting back to TTRT. HADJIME is somewhere discovered recently on YouTube?If you want check 'em out, he doesn't really great fan animations, including some Naruto fights.I think the Hashirama vs. kakuzu it's my. Favorite so far.I think you didn't enjoy it. And it always stay careful out there and be careful it's freaking guessing game with ages nowadays at these conventions.
Zachary Rothschild
2025-11-01 13:43:41 +0000 UTC
