Hanging after work at the Red Bill saloon (Monthly tale - 13) X

(Various transformations)*

At weekends, during holidays and special occasions, the old Red Bill saloon was busy with activity and customers.

Drinks, laughter, noise.

But during the working week it was a more tame, simple establishment.

The mechanical bull sitting in the middle of the saloon was covered with a blanket and the usual day to day parishioners could come in after a hard day of work and have a drink and some food in peace and familiarity.

That popular Katy Perry song about cats was softly sounding in the background when Jules and Gus arrived, they were greeted by the landlady, they requested the usual dishes and drinks for four and got to sit at their favourite table, in the corner of the room.

The waitress served the drinks, Gus nodded and smiled at her, she winked and he followed her with his eyes as she left.

After taking a sip from his beer he began to impatiently tap the wooden table with his fingers.

“They are late...”

Jules was calmly reading a magazine about ancient Greek tales, she didn’t pause as she answered.

“Better for us, we can steal some chips off Leo’s plate!”

Gus chuckled.

Two of the glasses were still empty when the meals were served, despite their joke, neither Jules or Gus touched a single potato off Leo’s plate... at least not until he arrived.

The old man arrived along with Dorian five minutes later, both of them still wearing the greyish green overalls of Wide Lasso, the animal control and rescue company where all four friends worked.

Dorian collapsed onto his seat, huffing like a tired hippo, he had a band aid on his cheek and looked as sweaty as Leo.

“What a fucking shit show...!” grunted Dorian, filling his cup with a not entirely cold coke.

Jules closed her magazine and gulped her food.

“A tricky call?” she asked.

They all knew very well what tricky meant to those at the table.

“You bet!” said Dorian. “Hey, Betsy, can you bring some ice for this poor soul?”

Betsy smiled and nodded, Gus frowned slightly but any complaint on his part was interrupted by the loud sound of the ketchup bottle as Leo began to pour the sweet red sauce over his food.

“So what was it?” asked Jules to Leo, with a pinch of interest.

“Four in one.” mumbled the old man, picking a chip off his plate.

“A four in one? Before finishing your shift?”

Leo nodded, Jules giggled.

“No wonder you two look so beaten up.”

“I’m getting too old for this...”

Jules rolled her eyes.

“You and me both, but let’s not get started with the self-pity again, OK? I need a couple of beers in my belly before that, so spit the details.”

Leo sighed, then he let out a soft laugh.

“It was a call from Shift Inc... again” he began to explain, making both Dorian and Gus growl after they heard the name of that company. “A rich neighbourhood, they called Customer Support before doing the stupid thing and they sent us before it got too noisy.”

Now Jules was really interested, almost as much as she was at finishing what was left of her chicken and eggs sandwich.

“And the stupid thing was...?”

With a subtle smirk Leo continued relating the tale...

...

The cops were already there when we arrived, a fancy house, in a fancy neighbourhood, big house, lots of space, lots of corners to inspect, the stuff we hate, Dorian was already moanng.

“Tell me, Leo, why do we always end up having to deal with the Shift Inc. crap?”

You can complain as much as you want, but you are a total whiner!

He had already begun protesting on the way there, as if it wasn’t his job, so I just nodded, shrugged, picked up the tools and led the way after the cops gave us permission to go in.

It was deserted at first glance, just a normal rich house, and then we arrived in the living room and we found the remains of the slumber party.

Ripped clothes, lost socks, a pair of soaked panties...

A bowl of popcorn was all over the carpet, signs of a struggle, you know very well what I mean.

There was a picture of a group of six happy young women lying near four bottles of different Shift Inc. crap, bovine and caprine lactating pills, a soft feather cream and a sheep lotion.

It was obvious what had happened, the question was why and where were the girls now... or whatever they might be now.

And then Dorian stepped on the TV remote with his big dumb feet and turned on the TV, you careless punk.

“Is this working or what...?” it was one of the girls in the picture, a blonde one with pigtails, she was setting up the camera.

The other three that were also in the picture were sitting on the couch behind her, another blonde but this one without pigtails, one with curly hair and big eyebrows and a chubby one with straight brown hair, they were all wearing pajamas.

“The light is on, sit down already Sally!” said the curly haired one.

“OK, OK!”

The one called Sally moved from the front of the screen and went to sit on her spot in the middle of the couch.

Sally sighed deeply, smiled at the camera and began to talk.

“HI! Hello, I’m here with my friends Rhonda!” the other blonde girl. “Summer!” the chubby one. “And Lidia, who is being a bit grumpy...!”

Lidia was the curly haired one, she did indeed look grumpy.

“I’m grumpy because this is stupid, we should have just left a letter...”

Lidia shut up when Summer put a hand over hers.

“Shhh... it’s better this way, so they can see us...”

Curly haired blushed and looked away and the Rhonda girl, the blondy that hadn’t spoken yet, took the lead from there, looking directly into the camera.

“This video is for our close ones and... the people that will have to deal with us after it’s done, I guess... We are going to... shift ourselves into farm animals... and... That’s kinda it...” the four stupid girls were all blushing. “Yes, this all began after Marsha had her accident and ended up as a jennet on Tammy’s aunt’s farm... and then Tammy and her mother ended there as sows...” I guessed those two were the black girl and the other chubby blonde in the picture. “We decided it by ourselves, we are friends, super friends... but we can continue together as humans... We aren’t crazy, don’t get mad, it’ll all be fine... I... I’m just going to be a duck.”

Sally continued from there, with an insecure smile.

“I’m going to be a sheep!”

Summer was next.

“I’m going to be a goat...”

Lidia was sitting between those two, she didn’t smile or look up, the hair covering her clearly blushing face, but she sounded more clear and firm than the others to me.

“I am a dairy cow...”

There was a silence after that... they shared looks, nodded, picked up their bottles and drank them up, despite some of them not being drinkable stuff.

Nipples popped up like champagne bottles, most of them weren’t wearing bras.

More redness in their faces, grabbing their sides, moans, grunts, the old show time.

“GUUUUUD! Thish tuOu muuuuch!” screamed Lidia, starting to masturbate as her tits inflated and another pair of nipples popped onto her inflating chest.

Their were cries and protests, also crotch rubbing, and then someone kicked the table and the little film of kinky horrors died.

It was clear what to do from there, find a duck, a sheep, a goat and a cow... at least the cow should be easy.

It didn’t take long for us to notice the sheep with pigtails grazing in the backyard, she didn’t seem too troublesome, so I left Dorian handling her and moved up to the second floor, following the trail of clothes.

Finding the cow was a piece of cake, I had been hearing the heavy steps of her hooves since I entered the house.

She had got into the main bedroom, with the goat, they had broken the bed, one has to wonder what they must have been doing while transforming.

I chuckled a bit with the shift in their dynamic, now the cow was the larger and the goat the smaller, but they still were very close, good for them.

They were clearly distressed, so I calmed them down and went to the the window to yell at the cops that we were going to need the firemen.

Then I moved on to look for the last dumb girl, there was some broken furniture in the hallway...

I found her in the bathroom, sitting on the floor of the shower, with her thin orange legs spread and an human face with a flapping beak at the end of the long neck... I hate that, when you find them not finished.

She raised her wings as if they were still arms and looked at them sadly.

An egg was coming out of her featherly cloaca, her pierced breasts were sinking into the feathers of her chest.

She looked at me and tried to speak, I hate that too.

“Thish... QUACK! Thish wash nock a mishtaucke! QUACK! QUACK!”

The egg came out, the duck finished her changes and you can picture the rest.

...

“Dumb stupid girls...” muttered Leo, taking a drink of his beer.

Jules wrinkled her nose.

“That’s mean.”

Dorian jumped back into the conversation.

“What? Are you actually going to defend them? Man, that Shift Inc. stuff really melts chicks brains.”

“Fuck off, idiot!” Jules barked, sitting up straight defiantly. “I’m not defending them, they may be dumb girls doing dumb stuff, but whether it was a mistake or not they committed to it.”

Gus raised an eyebrow.

“And it’s worth it to jeopardize your entire life like that just for... what? A moment of pleasure?”

That didn’t manage to break Jules resolution, she just crossed her arms and looked smug.

“It was for them... what else matters?”

“You talk as if you knew the whole picture...” muttered Leo.

Jules just stuck her tongue out.

Dorian stretched his arms, yawning with a full belly.

“You know what? I want some ice cream.”

“What a child...” chuckled Gus, shaking his head.

“Is it really necessary to constantly bully me?” the answer to his question was three times yes, he growled. “Pffff... hey, don’t you two have any sorry excuses for anecdotes to share today?”

Jules and Gus looked at each other, Gus wondered about it and a bulb turned on in his brain.

“Now that you mention it, there was one weird call at midday today.”

The woman didn’t seem to remember it.

“Which one was it?”

“The wizard guy.”

“Oooooh... Yeah, that was slightly weird.”

Dorian’s interest was captured by the hook.

“A wizard? OK, that does sound mildly interesting, go on.”

Gus began to explain, with Jules’ permission.

“At first it seemed a call just like any other...”

Leo had to interrupt the boy.

“You are really going to start it like that?”

Gus blushed.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?”

The old man raised his hand in surrender.

“Sorry, my bad, go ahead kid.”

“Tshh... well, it was a normal call, from the police, nothing crazy, just a donkey in the middle of the road...”

...

It wasn’t a donkey, nor a horse, it was a big gray mule.

I know the difference, have been a lot in my grandma’s farm, they can be hard to recognize, being a mix of both those things, you have to pay attention to the head and the rear.

A donkey’s head with a horse’s butt.

We didn’t have much problem catching the girl, she was a lady, the poor dummy didn’t seem used to the weight of her body or walking on four legs.

From the distance we knew that was the first obvious clue that this mule was not just a mule.

You see, mules don’t usually wear big overstretched pantyhose over their ass and hindquarters.

Those things tend to trap their tails, pressing them against their vulva, making them wary, just like this girl.

Of course, it wasn’t only the pantyhose, there was also the torn blouse and bra over her back and chest, the bra matching the mangled panties inside the pantyhose,  the hair clips on her mane, the makeover, like the lipstick or the nail varnish on her hooves, as if she had fingers just a while ago... oh, and the jewelry, pearl jewelry around the neck and in her ears.

Obvious, don’t you think?

It either was a mule that had just spontaneously grown inside the empty outfit of a rich middle aged woman or just a middle aged woman that had shifted into a mule.

It tends to be the second.

She didn’t like it at all when we began to strip her, but Jules calmed her, she grabbed her chin as if was nothing, wiping off the lipstick, and told her that mules don’t wear clothes and the mule took it and shut down.

Jules really has a hand for that sort of thing, I don’t, because the mule slapped me in the face with her tail after ripping the pantyhose, as if I could be interested in her horse cunt and she had no shame.

After we had the mule tied and cleaned it was time for the questions.

Obviously, we both thought what you two are already thinking: Shift Inc.

But the guy that had called seemed to have another hypothesis in his hands.

We saw him talking with the two cops, a skinny looking nerd in some sort of cheap wizard outfit, he seemed to have walked right out of some medieval fair, which it turned out he actually had.

He was waving his arms and raising his voice a bit too much, nervously explaining his version of the situation to the cops.

“No! NO! Listen to me already! You don’t have to call my landlady! That mule is my landlady! She’s Gertrude!”

Gertrude - it’s as if that poor landlady’s father actually wanted her to end as a mule, don’t you think?

The cops, a short woman and a tall one, weren’t buying it.

“Are you on drugs sir?” asked the short cop, not too politely.

That angered the dude.

“Excuse me?! I almost didn’t sleep at all last night lady! Yesterday I turned a poor mother into a cow in the middle of the medieval fair! And today I woke up and Gertrude was there, screaming at me about the rent! I told her I would have the money tomorrow, she got mad telling me I was a lazy ass good for nothing and then I told her she was an old mule and then the damn old mule began to neigh and transformed into one!”

The damn old mule didn’t liked being referred to as one at all.

The fella was going up and down in front of the two shocked cop ladies, clearly having some sort of anxiety attack.

“It was the same nightmare all over again! I couldn’t stop it and now she’s that fucking big horse thing! What the hell am I going to do? I know her daughter! She has family! The cow yesterday had kids too! This is insane and you come here and ask me if I’m taking drugs? Go eat shit, miss!”

He said that last thing while pushing at the short cop’s chest.

Yep...

That was the cue for them to jump the skinny dude and handcuff him, that tall cop slammed him down like a professional quarterback or a professional amazon, it was pretty amusing.

“Let me go! Let me go!” he cried as he was dragged into the police car. “You two are pigs! Fucking pigs!”

They kicked him inside the car, said goodbye to us and drove away with the loony.

We finished the cleanup, making sure the mule arrived safely at the farm and by then it was time to sign out.

...

The four bowls of ice cream were empty, only a few smears of sweetness in the bottoms.

“What do you want me to say, that tale wasn’t as fun as ours!” said Dorian, smugly.

Gus didn’t take it well.

“Girls fucking their lives up with Shift Inc.? That’s lame dude, at least our had some spiciness.”

“Wait... Do you think that crazy dude really had magic powers?”

“No!” answered Gus, blushing. “But, you know, it’s more unique... and we didn’t manage to get in contact with the landlady, so she probably is that mule...”

“So what? Old woman shifts herself, at least in our story there was like... seven or eight shifts...” Dorian looked to Jules and Leo, looking for support. “Right?”

Leo was lost in the pleasure of a full belly.

“That would actually make it a worse tale, wouldn’t it...?” said the old man after a yawn.

“Well... sorta... What do you think Jules?”

Jules was stretching her arms.

“I don’t know and I don’t care, neither should you... but a wizard going nuts sounds way less depressing!”

Dorian gave up.

The Red Bill saloon was almost empty, a couple of waiters were cleaning the tables and sweeping the floor.

The four friends had already paid and finished their meal, so it was time to get going.

Jules gasped getting up, picking her jacket up from the back of the seat.

“I’m going to get into the shower as soon as I get home...”

“Thanks for the mental image!” chuckled Gus, also putting his jacket on.

The woman looked at her younger peer with a devilish smirk and moved closer.

“It shouldn’t be my shower you want to get in...”

“What...?”

“Look!” draping an arm over the guys shoulders, Jules made Gus look at Betsy, who at that moment was near the counter, ready to leave. “It’s a dark moonless night, I can bet you that she wants a nice gentleman to accompany her home...”

“WHAT...?!” grunted Dorian from behind them.

“Doesn’t that doesn’t apply to you too?” asked Gus, ignoring Dorian’s complaints.

“I’m a tough old lady, my friend, I have fangs, you know? I can take care of myself and I’m tired of seeing you whining like a puppy every time Betsy is around, so get in there and try to fix that!”

“But...”

Jules slapped his butt, Leo laughed.

“If you don’t try to be honest you will never know!” said the old man.

Gus was a bit red, he snorted, finished what was left in his cup and headed directly towards the waitress as Leo held Dorian back, gathering all of his courage with the intention of saying hi.

The other three saw from a distance how he did just that, the two young birds giggled and laughed as Dorian also turned green with envy.

Betsy headed towards the door and Gus followed, he waved goodbye to his friends before leaving the saloon.

Once more, Dorian sighed in defeat as the other two laughed, but this time not at his expense.

The trio also left shortly after that, Jules accompanied the men to the parking behind the Red Bill, they have arrived in a company van and had to go back to the office to finish their shift.

“Hurry up, old man!” shouted Dorian from inside the vehicle. “I want to be home before it’s tomorrow!”

Leo and Jules looked at each other, the woman with her hand inside her jacket.

“Do you want us to drop you off at your apartment?” asked Leo. “It’s on the way...”

Jules shrugged and looked up at the sky, it was indeed a moonless night.

“Nah, its a nice fresh night, I feel like walking today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

Leo wondered calmly for a moment.

“Are you alright?”

The woman frowned.

“Of course I am, why do you ask?”

The old man shrugged.

“Since you met that cranky ranch girl you’ve seemed a bit... light headed...”

“I’m fine, Leo, you don’t have to worry about what I do under the sheets.” she said in a slightly defensive tone.

“Hmm... well, if you are sure...”

“I am sure.”

“Sure... take care, girl, talk to you tomorrow.”

Jules nodded smiling.

“Yup!”

He got into the van, the goodbyes were said and Jules stood there as the van moved out onto the road and then was lost from view.

The cold whistled, making the woman tremble and snuggle.

She began to walk back home, inside her left jacket pocket her finger played with a green bottle of pills that had a familiar logo... she sighed...

“Everything could be so simple with magic...”

She chuckled.

“Maybe another day...!”

Satisfied with herself, for the time being, she shook her head and began to whistle, enjoying the cold caress of the moonless night…  humming happily a song that she wasn’t sure where did she learned...