WIEDERGEBURT Act III: Chapter 59

There were a lot of steps involved with creating a Yin-Yang Spiritual Enhancement Pill. As I stood inside of the old cave me and that woman had lived in, I checked all of the ingredients to make sure everything was present and prepared properly. I didn’t want to accidentally use an ingredient that had been prepared wrong and ruin the entire process. I only had one shot at this. It needed to count.

“S-rank Lightning affinity monster core? Check. Lif flowers? Check. Death knell klunger? Check. Spirit bone bilk? Check. Lysende moss? Check. Drage stem? Check. Spirit essence? Check. Naturally purified water from a one thousand year old spring? Check. Scales from a Lightning Chimera? Check. Essence blood of a Thunder Leopard? Check.”

As I continued checking off the ingredients, of which there were over thirty, I thought about how to prepare this pill. The first thing I needed to do was created the enhancers, which were made from simpler ingredients that enhanced the effects of the main ingredients. There were twenty normal ingredients and ten extraordinary ingredients.

Generally speaking, ingredients were classified, or graded, based on a number of factors. The rarity of the ingredient. The potency. The effects it had in alchemy. Simply ingredients like red fire grass were given a grade 9 classification. Rare and powerful ingredients like the S-rank monster core in my possession had a grade 1 classification. There was also supposedly a grade 0 classification, but according to a conversation I once heard from members of the Alchemist Association, ingredients with that classification were just a legend.

After I was done checking the ingredients, I began preparing them. The alchemy set was already set up. I sent Spiritual Power into the burners, filled several flasks and beakers with water, then grabbed the first ingredient. It was nirnroot. I calcined it, sticking it inside of a beaker that was being heated by a burner and letting the fierce heat break it down.

The next ingredient was a flower with four red petals that had blue veins running through it. Heart flower. They weren’t very rare. However, it was said that eating them was good for your heart, so a lot of people would crush them up and add them to tea.

These needed to be dried into ash via roasting, so I put them in a pan and heated it over a fire instead of a burner. The flower petals shriveled and dried up. When they became black and turned to ash, I took the pan off the fire and placed it inside of the beaker with the calcined nirnroot, which had turned into thousands of tiny crystals. I hoped that was what was supposed to happen.

I soon began mixing more ingredients. The red aloe was mixed into a flask of water alongside hibiscus roots that I had ablated with a cloth. I then stirred the water until the hibiscus roots had completely dissolved and mixed with the red aloe, creating a slightly brownish red liquid, which I then poured into the beaker with the heart flower ash and nirnoot crystals. I let that sit before grinding up some purple haze vines and adding it into a flask that I filled with water soon after.

My hands continued to work almost like they had a will of their own, grinding, mashing, shaving, and mixing ingredients together. I let my mind wander as I worked. It was almost therapeutic, though I couldn’t say I enjoyed refining pills.

While Alchemy was a taxing process, it was actually very simple to refine a pill. It was like cooking in many ways. If you followed the instructions, you could theoretically make anything.

Of course, true Alchemy was not just refining pills based on premade instructions, but on refining original pills that did not have any set instructions for them. A beginner alchemist could make a pill. A good alchemist could make advanced pills. A master made their own pills because they understood how all the different ingredients worked together.

I was not a master by any means. I never would be. Speaking honestly, Alchemy did not even interest me that much beyond what it could do for me. I didn’t have the gumption or motivation to learn.

It took many hours before the first twenty ingredients were prepared. I had started early in the morning and it was now late afternoon. My body was covered in a layer of sweat and felt absolutely disgusting, but I knew I couldn’t afford to stop. All of the enhancers had been created, so it was time to get to work on the main ingredients.

I worked until the moon was hovering in the sky, mixing ingredients based on the instructions in the Alchemy book. It took nearly a full day of absolute concentration. While the tasks themselves were not physically strenuous, the mental strain I felt from working so long was getting to me, making it hard to focus, causing my vision to grow fuzzy. At times, I thought I could hear voices. However, whenever I turned around to look, nobody was there.

Night wore on as I continued to work. The Lif flower was ground into a paste and mixed with the spirit bone milk to create a pale pink substance. I crushed the lysende moss and added it soon after, then dropped the drage stem inside of the 1,000 year old spring water, which I brought to a boil. Scales of a Chimera were added to the mixture of the drage stem and spring water. When I added them, lightning sparked from the beaker and nearly made me jump. After the first two concoctions were created, I used the essence blood from a Thunder Leopard. I boiled it and added shavings of death knell klunger into the mix.

“Ha… ha…”

I wiped my forehead off with a towel to keep the sweat from dripping into my ingredients. Even a small addition like the salt from my sweat could adversely effect the refining process and make it not work. I had to avoid that.

Time passed as I worked. To be honest, I think a day had gone by. The sun was shining outside. Light streamed in through the cave entrance, but I couldn’t focus on that now. I slapped my cheeks and continued working, watching, observing, and making sure nothing went wrong, until finally, I finished the process of refining a pill inside of the cauldron.

About the size of a stag beetle, I could do little more than stare at the small pill in my hand, watching as strange arcs of energy passed through it, pulsing like the beating of a heart. This pill, the Yin-Yang Spiritual Enhancement Pill, which I had only ever heard about in legends, was said to be capable of allowing a person to reach an unprecedented state of enlightenment by absorbing the element a Spiritualist had an affinity toward and letting them refine their bodies and become even more intimate with their element—or so the story goes. Having never seen or even heard of someone taking this myself, I didn’t know how true that was.

I placed the pill inside of a jar, then placed the jar in my pouch. After securing the pouch, I left the cave and began my journey once more, heading back toward Mount Himmellyn.

***

The sunny sky presented an incredible contrast to my dismal mood as I walked through the streets of Nevaria, following the map that Felman had given me. I was going to see all the families of the people who died during the battle against the Demon Beasts and Sekbeists. For that, I wore a new set of clothing similar to the ones Fay had bought me when I first met with her father. My storage ring glinted in the light as I swung my hands back and forth.

My first stop was not a family but an orphanage. I stared at the rundown building made of brick and wood. Ramshackle was the word I was looking for. This building was quite large, set in a mostly empty lot filled with trees and spanning about half that lot. Several children were playing outside, running around and chasing each other in what appeared to be a game of tag, though they stopped when they saw me. I smiled and waved at them. However, they quickly ran back inside of the orphanage.

With a sigh, I walked up to the orphanage doors and heard shouting from the other side.

“Ma! Ma! There’s a pretty woman outside!”

“Come quickly!”

“She’s like an angel!”

I felt instantly depressed upon hearing how these kids had mistaken me for a girl. I knew I still had a slightly feminine appearance, but did I really look that womanly? I had muscles and no breasts, and my face had lost quite a bit of fat. Surely I didn’t look that much like a girl.

Did I?

The doors opened and a woman stepped out. Dressed in the usual rugged clothing of a commoner, the drab color of her clothing somehow matched and complimented her warm but weathered appearance. This woman didn’t look old. At the same time, she felt aged, probably from the stress of raising so many children. I wondered if she did this on her own.

“Are you Margaret?” I asked.

“I am,” the woman said. Her voice was as warm as her appearance. “And you are Eryk Veiger, if I am not mistaken.”

“Yes.”

As we spoke, the kids who had run into the orphanage peeked out from behind Margaret, staring at me with something akin to shock. Margaret placed her hands on their heads.

“Please forgive these children for their rude comments,” she said.

“It’s fine,” I told her. “I’m used to it. Anyway, I’m here to speak with you.”

“I assumed as much. Please come in.”

Margaret led me inside the orphanage, which was as ramshackle on the inside as it was the outside. We walked down a clean but old hallway. The floorboards creaked underneath our feet. I looked at the walls, which weren’t dirty but looked old. This place appeared to be falling apart.

I was led into a plain and unadorned room with a single table in the center and some cupboards against the wall to my left. The scent of stale air filled the room, but I ignored that as Margaret gestured for me to take a seat. As the wooden chair creaked underneath my bottom, I paused, concerned that the chair might break on me, but then slowly eased myself fully onto it once I’d confirmed it was safe.

“I will be right back with some tea,” Margaret said.

“Oh, thank you,” I replied.

The woman walked out of the room, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I clutched the lower end of my vest and took several breaths to hopefully calm down. This meeting was not going to be in anyway pleasant.

As I sat there, a noise from outside caught my attention, causing me to turn my head toward the window, where I found several heads peeking in at me. It was the kids from before. There were three boys and two girls. All of them ranged in age, but I didn’t think any of them was older than maybe eleven or twelve. The moment they realized I had seen them, they ducked back beneath the window.

I sighed.

The woman came in several minutes later carrying what I could tell at a glance was her most expensive tea set. It didn’t compare to what Empress Hilda had, but honestly, Margaret could have offered me a cup full of cracks and it wouldn’t have mattered. Pomp and luxury was never something that interested me.

“Thank you,” I said as Margaret placed the tea set on the table, put a cup in front of me, and filled it with warm liquid. The tea was a light orange-ish color, and the fragrance wafting from it had a hint of subtle spices. It was a Darjeeling tea, most likely.

“You’re welcome.”

Margaret sat down as I put the cup of steaming tea to my lips and took a slow sip. The tea wasn’t the best, but it went down smoothly and quenched my parched throat. That was all I could ask for.

“I’m guessing you are here to tell me about Alva?” Margaret said at last, hands neatly folded on her lap. I barely noticed the way her arms quivered. “That is the only reason I can think of to explain why someone of your stature would come all the way out here.”

I looked into the woman’s eyes, not looking away, which would have been an insult given how brave she was trying to be.

I nodded once and said, “You are correct. I’m not sure how much you know, but the Nevarian Braves was charged with the task of helping stave off an invading army. We managed to prevent the army from reaching Nevaria… but many people died in the process.” My heart was slamming into my chest, but I kept my expression composed as I stared at the woman. “Alva was one of them.”

I did not know everyone who belonged to the Nevarian Braves. Learning and memorizing the name of each person under me was impossible when I had so many Spiritualists. Alva was one such person. I couldn’t remember a single time when I had ever interacted with her.

That knowledge caused an incredible ache in my chest. Someone had died because of me, because I had them take part in a dangerous operation. I knew it would happened. I accepted that. However, knowing and accepting that this would happen did not make the knowledge that these deaths were on my hands any easier.

“I… I see.” Margaret’s hands clenched as she looked down at the table. “Alva… she was a very determined girl, you know? After hearing about the Nevarian Braves, she decided to join and nobody could stop her. She worked very hard every day, and she was so overjoyed when she finally joined.” Margaret’s lips trembled and tears formed in her eyes. “She told me once that the reason she wanted to join the Nevarian Braves is because it was a great way to secure a constant source of income for our little orphanage. Up to that point, she would traverse the Demon Beast Mountain Range by herself for ingredients to sell.”

The longer this woman spoke, the sharper the pain in my chest became, but I didn’t tell her to stop. I listened to everything she had to say. This was my duty as the leader of the Nevarian Braves. It was my responsibility to see to the affairs of those who served under me after they passed on.

After listening to the woman, I slowly withdrew a large bag from my storage scroll and set it on the table. The jingling of coins brought Margaret out of her stupor. She looked at the bag, blinked several times, then cast her questioning gaze toward me.

“This will never replace Alva,” I said. “However, that bag contains both the pay she would have received if she survived plus a little extra to compensate for her loss.”

I called it a little extra, but there was twice the amount of valis in there compared to the normal pay everyone else had received. Felman had already informed me about this orphanage. I knew it was struggling, so I had dipped into my own funds that I earned from the Alchemist Association. Truth be told, the extra thirty thousand valis was not even a drop in the bucket for me now, but it would be enough to keep this orphanage running for over a decade. Combine that with the thirty thousand Alva earned from the quest and this orphanage could even afford to refurbish the entire building and still live comfortably for years to come.

“T-thank you very much,” Margaret said in a choked voice. While many people might assume she said this out of gratitude toward the money, I knew that wasn’t it.

“You’re welcome,” I said.

I didn’t remain there for long. After finishing my tea, Margaret led me back out of the orphanage and closed the door after I exited. This didn’t offend me. Tears had already been gathering in her eyes. I was certain that she was barely restraining her emotions in front of me.

Because I didn’t want to remain there, and because I had other stops to make, I walked away from the orphanage. Several of the children followed me for a time. I was certain they had been listening in on the conversation. I didn’t pay them any mind, and they left one by one, all except for a single child who kept following me from a distance.

Despite doing his best to hide, I could see him every time I turned around. He would hide behind a building whenever he noticed me looking at him. However, his actions were so delayed that I would have to be an idiot not to notice him.

“I know you’re following me,” I said at last. “Come on out.”

I looked at the single tuft of hair sticking out from behind a cart, waiting patiently for the boy to slowly emerge from behind it.

He was young, but from his appearance, I judged him to be the oldest person at the orphanage. He looked to be around twelve. His hair was blond. His eyes were a light blue. He had pale skin, but it was covered in dirt. The threadbare clothes hanging off his frame looked like they had been stitched together multiple times. A pair of simple sandals were on his feet.

“Did you need something?” I asked.

The boy clenched his hands. “Why did Big Sister Alva have to die? Why… why didn’t you save her? You’re really powerful, right? Everybody says so! They say you’re the strongest! If you’re so strong, why couldn’t you save my big sister?!”

So that was what this was about. I tugged on one of my bangs and wondered what to say, but I understood that nothing I said would ease the pain he felt. It had been like that for me… back when Kari and Kayli died.

I walked up to the boy and placed my hand on his head. His hair was rough and course, covered in grease and in obvious need of a wash. Given the destitute state of the orphanage, I imagine they could only afford to use a public bath house maybe once every two weeks or so.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” I said in a soft voice. “It’s never easy to lose someone you love.” I had no idea where I was going with this, but I kept talking anyway. “A long time ago, I lost the two most important people in my life. I just wasn’t strong enough to protect them. Even now, I’m not strong enough to protect everyone.”

I didn’t say anything else. I honestly didn’t know what else to say. The truth was that I was no great orator. I didn’t have the skills necessary to give people uplifting speeches that would make them feel better. I was just a guy who had lost everything and been given a miraculous second chance to regain what I had lost.

“Then… what if I become stronger?” the boy asked. “If I become even stronger than you, will I be able to protect everyone?”

“Maybe. Who knows? I’m not even sure how strong you’d need to become to protect everyone.”

“I’ll do it.” The boy looked up at me with a fierce and determined glare. His eyes were like balls of fire. “I’ll train really hard and become so strong that I’ll be able to do what you can’t. I’ll protect everyone!”

“I hope you can do that,” I said, removing my hand from his head. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Balder.”

“Then, Balder, when you become stronger, come see me. I’ll help train you,” I said. “Maybe you can do what I couldn’t.”

***

After leaving the child known as Balder behind, I traveled to the residences of each person who had been killed during the invasion, letting their families know what happened and giving them the valis their family member earned (plus thirty thousand extra valis). The reactions varied. Some people accepted the money and stoically thanked me, others cried but thanked me for telling them what happened, and some blamed me for what happened. I even had one person throw the bag of valis I gave her in my face and tell me they wished I had been the one who died instead.

I didn’t accuse anyone or get angry. I accepted their feelings and let them vent their rage. I understood they were speaking in anger.

It was nearly nighttime when I finished visiting all of the families. The stars were coming out when I returned home.

There was nobody inside of the lobby when I arrived. Dagny and Eira had likely already gone home, and I was sure Felman and the others were doing last minute checks of our supplies. That used to be my job, but I had become so busy that I needed another person to do it for me. These days, all I did was read through the report Felman wrote up to double check that everything was in order.

I wandered up the stairs, the sound of my footsteps echoing back to me.

Kari, Fay, Lin, and Siv were in the living room when I came back. While Siv blushed down to the roots of her hair upon seeing me, the other three seemed to sense how drained I was when I sank into the couch.

“We figured you’d be coming in late, so we made sure to have some ready food for you,” Kari said as she gestured to the plate sitting on the coffee table. The quiche sitting on the plate looked fairly appetizing despite being cold. My stomach gurgled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

“Thank you,” I whispered, grabbing a fork and slowly eating. It was cold. However, the flaky pastry crust really helped bring out the taste of the eggs, vegetables, and meat. The saltiness of the pork created a lovely contrast with the sweetness of the crust.

After I finished eating, Lin grabbed the plate and moved it away, then she, Fay, and Kari sat right next to me on the couch. Siv looked a little lonely and uncertain on the other couch. However, she made no move to join us.

“I’m guessing you talked to all the families of the deceased?” Kari said.

“I did,” I whispered.

Kari must have sensed something in my voice because she immediately pulled me into her chest, wrapping her arms around my head. As my cheek rested against her bosom, the sound of her heartbeat reverberated in my ears. It was soft and steady. This sound soothed my soul and caused me to slowly close my eyes.

“Was it hard?” she asked.

“It was.” Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes despite trying everything in my power not to cry. “It was really, really hard.”

“I can only imagine how hard that must have been.” Kari stroked my hair, her soft, delicate fingers easing away the strain I felt as I tried to contain my tears, which began silently flowing from my eyes. “You did a great job.”

A hiccup escaped my mouth as I wrapped my arms around Kari’s waist and pulled her close. The warmth she emitted made me want to fall asleep, but even now, I was far too high strung and emotional for that.

As I held Kari, several other bodies suddenly engulfed me. I recognized Fay’s warmth as she wound her arms around my torso. A second set of breasts pressed against my head. Meanwhile, Lin had pressed her body against my back and wrapped me in a hug from behind. Her tail had also wound around my legs as if to comfort me.

The tears were beginning to stain Kari’s shirt, but she didn’t seem to mind as she continued stroking my hair. Fay had also joined in. Her fingers were a little larger than Kari’s, who had very thin fingers and slightly longer nails. While Kari’s nails gently scratched my scalp, Fay ran her hands through my hair.

They were saying something. I couldn’t understand any of it, but the reassuring sound of their voices helped ease the sharp pain stabbing my chest. I had been feeling pretty empty after speaking with the families of everyone who died, but that emptiness was slowly being chased away and filled by the warmth these three offered.

Like that, I slowly fell asleep within the arms of the women I would one day marry.