WIEDERGEBURT Chapter 6

Six months had passed since Kari and I met. We’d grown a lot closer during that time, to the point where we didn’t just spend time within the library. While she always wore a hood, the two of us often traveled through Nevaria, taking in the sights and just enjoying each other’s company.

My heart felt light during the time I spent with her, like it was soaring through the clouds. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t qualified to. However, I knew that I had fallen in love.

It was late in the evening. The sun was beginning its descent behind the Demon Beast Mountain Range, casting dark reds, oranges, and yellows across the sky.

Kari had come to visit my room early this morning and asked me if I wanted to spend the day with her. I was technically supposed to work this day, but when I saw the expression on her face, that hopeful look mixed with a strange desperation, I couldn’t say no.

Our first stop had been breakfast, but after that it was a smorgus borg of activity. We’d gone to a park, watched a play, walked around the Merchant’s District, and spoke the entire time. By the time the sun had begun to set, I was feeling a mixture of emotions. I’d had fun. Of course I had. However, a strange sensation crawling around inside of my stomach kept me from just enjoying myself. I was worried, but I didn’t know why.

“There’s one more place I would like to take you,” Kari said as she held my hand and pulled me along.

I didn’t resist her. “Where are we going?”

She looked back and smiled at me. “You’ll see.”

Kari said nothing else as she pulled me through a number of streets, took several turns, and soon led me up a hill. We eventually ended up traveling along a slight cliff face. I realized that the place we were traveling along was part of the mountain that the Imperial Palace sat on. This caused my body to jolt as though lightening was racing through it.

The place where we eventually stopped at was a small ledge that was just big enough for two people to sit. I stood there in stunned silence. From this spot, I could see almost all of Nevaria. I could even see some of the farmlands that existed beyond the walls of the city. As I took in this breathtaking view, Kari smiled at me before turning to the city.

“It’s a nice view, isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it. I wanted to show it to you… since we won’t be able to see each other anymore.”

Those words were enough to send a chill through my bones. The view was no longer important.

I turned to her. “What do you mean…” I slowly trailed off as I realized what she meant. I vaguely recalled something that happened over four months ago, when I had been attacked by Grant Leucht. “This is about those marriage talks, isn’t it?”

Kari’s lips trembled and her eyes moistened with tears. “It… was inevitable, I suppose. Even though I am a member of the Astralia Royal Family, even I can’t escape from a fate like this… no, perhaps it is because I’m a member of the Astralia Royal Family that this happened.”

My mind went blank as I stared at this girl, who wasn’t even 17 years-old, and yet she was already going to get married. So many conflicting emotions swirled around inside of me. I was jealous of the person marrying her, felt hatred at this situation, but above all that, I felt sympathy for this girl who was being forced into a position she never wanted.

“Your mom can’t do anything?” I asked, swallowing.

Placing her hands behind her back, Kari took a deep breath and sighed. “Even my mom doesn’t have the power to stop this. The Leucht Family is one of the Three Heavenly Families. They wield a lot of political and economic power, and they’ve been pushing Mother hard to convince her that I should marry their heir. She’s done her best to stall them, but I am just the youngest member of the family. My life and happiness are not worth the political unrest her rejection would cause. Moreover, Grant Leucht won the Grand Spiritualist Tournament four months ago.”

Kari took a deep breath while I was reeling and continued.

“The Grand Spiritualist Tournament is a competition that has taken place in Nevaria since its founding. The winner will be able to receive any one thing that he or she asks for from the current ruler of Nevaria.” Kari gave me the saddest, most desolate smile I had ever seen. “I don’t think I need to tell you what he asked for. With his victory and the Leucht Family’s power within Nevaria, my mom doesn’t dare reject the marriage arrangement.”

I curled my fingers into a fist. Kari had told me about the marriage talks several months ago. At the time, she had laughed and told me it would never happen, that her mom would never allow it. I had sensed her dispiritedness at the time. However, for the sake of not wanting her to worry, I had merely nodded and said I wasn’t worried at all.

“And there is nothing you can do?” I asked in a soft voice.

“Not unless I’m willing to run away,” she confessed.

“Then maybe we should do that,” I said.

“We?”

I nodded and grabbed her hands. “Let’s run away together.”

Kari looked startled. “Where would we go?”

“Does it matter? We’ll go anywhere. We’ll go everywhere.” My voice became more fervent the longer I spoke. “We’ll travel the world, explore ruins, and face dangers just like you always dreamed of doing.”

“I’d love to run away with you…” Kari clutched my hands tightly as a few tears fell from her eyes. “But I can’t. I… as a member of the Astralia Royal Family, I have obligations. And besides, even if we tried to run away, my fathers and brothers would come after us. I know my limits. There’s no way I could escape from them, and if I can’t escape, then there’s no way you would be able to.”

The words were more than just a blow to my pride. Kari was telling me that I was weak, which I already knew. I had never trained, never studied Spiritualism, and didn’t even know which end of a sword to hold. I was weak. I knew that. However, until this moment, I had never felt like being weak mattered. Now I knew otherwise.

“So this… this is the last time you and I will see each other?” I asked for confirmation.

“P-probably. That’s why I wanted to… I wanted to tell you that I… I…”

Kari was fully crying now. There was no stopping her tears. Her face had become a mess, eyes rimmed red as several sobs wracked her body. So even a person as strong as Kari can cry like this? I was a little shocked. A jolt raced through my spine as I stood there, dumbfounded by the tears this girl was shedding.

I thought about what I should do at a time like this, but then I switched my thoughts. If this was the last time we would see each other, then…

“In that case… I hope you will permit me to take some liberties with you.”

Her eyes widened as I let go of her hands, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled her close. Her body fit snugly against mine. She was smaller than me, but she was also stronger. I could feel the muscles in her back shift and twitch even though the fabric of her dress. What’s more, the two large breasts she was sporting were pushing into my chest.

I leaned down, but I didn’t completely close the distance. Even though I wanted more than anything to seal her lips with a kiss, even though I had wanted to kiss her for months and might never get the chance to do so again, I also wanted to give her the chance to refuse. If she wanted to, she could push me away. It would be easy with her strength.

She didn’t do that.

Before I knew what was happening, a pair of hands threaded through my hair, and fingers gripped the back of my head. Kari pulled me down the rest of the way and our lips touched. Her kiss was filled with desperation and remorse. It was like she was pouring all of her emotions into me. I could feel the longing she had as her fingers grabbed my hair, sense the anguish she felt at being married off as her lips sought to consume me, and detect her sorrow in the tears that splashed against my chest after creating streaks down her face.

The soft warmth of her lips as they caressed mine felt incredible, but all I could think about was how bittersweet this kiss was, all I could do was regret how I hadn’t said or done anything about my feelings until this moment.

Several months after our last meeting, it was publicly announced that Kari would marry Grant Leucht on her eighteenth birthday. After she graduated from the Spiritualist Academy, she and Grant had a huge ceremony where all the nobles and even the peasants were invited. I didn’t attend.

I wouldn’t see Kari again after our last meeting for another two years when the Demon Beasts invaded Nevaria and forced the two of us to flee.

***

My body ached the next day. I hadn’t done anything super strenuous, but as I sat in bed and stretched my arms, the powerful and deep ache that came from Spiritual Exhaustion persisted. This dull throb that ran through my body was so powerful it caused me to feel a pseudo-physical pain.

Sadly, there was no rest for the weary, so after washing my face, cleaning my body with a rag, and then getting dressed, I exited my room and made for the waterfall that I had decided to use for the first stage of my training. I didn’t forget to grab the bag of pills on my way out.

It was quite early in the morning. The sun was just rising. Naturally, this meant there weren’t that many people present. Only a fool like myself or someone who needed to start their day early was awake at this time. Fortunately for me, bakers had to start their day early to get their work done before everyone else woke up to buy their bread, which meant I was able to pick up breakfast as I walked toward the eastern gate.

As I ate the baguette with light amounts of honey drizzled on it, I thought about what I needed to do today.

Of course, the training came first. I needed to gain control over my Spiritual Power. I wasn’t sure how long this would take since I was much stronger than I had been in my previous life. Back when I first started training, it had been relatively easy to learn how to control my Spiritual Power, but I didn’t think it would be as easy this time.

After training… I had to close the library.

The large waterfall looked the same today as it had yesterday. After setting down my bag of pills, I stripped off my clothes and set them aside. I paused for only a moment before reaching into the bag and grabbing one of the pills. It was quite small, about the size of a bead, and was a pale silvery blue color.

Three Way Spiritual Widening Pill.

Without thinking about it, I popped the pill into my mouth and chewed. It didn’t taste that good. I put up with it because I knew it was necessary.

Almost immediately after swallowing it, a slight chill spread through my body, pervading every part of me. That was just a side effect of the pill. It let me know it was working. The true purpose of this pill would only come when I began training.

I quickly swam to the waterfall and climbed onto the boulders. It wasn’t any easier this time than it had been last time, but I persevered and quickly released my Spiritual Power. The blue aura with powerful lightning swirling around like water roared to life. The waterfall that had been battering my body stopped in mid-air. Well, technically, it fell over the sides of the pillar created by my Spiritual Power, but I wasn’t going to get into the complicated details right now.

Crossing my legs as I sat, I closed my eyes and began my training.

The purpose of this training was to shrink the Spiritual Aura that my body was currently emitting and bring it into myself. While all people who released Spiritual Power could manifest it as a Spiritual Aura after they reached a specific level of power, it never went out of control like this—usually. My current Spiritual Aura was the result of my powers being too strong, my control over it lacking, and my Spiritual Pathways being unable to cope with this amount of power. In order to control my power, I had to do two things: Mentally harness my power by reigning it in and widen my Spiritual Pathways.

The pill I had consumed was one that would help my Spiritual Pathways naturally widen. They acted as a healing agent, soothing the agitation and inflamation that came from my currently small Spiritual Pathways releasing such a fierce amount of Spiritual Power.

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed underneath that waterfall, but the rumbling of my stomach eventually told me it was time to stop. A warrior could not work when he was hungry. What’s more, if I was hungry, it probably meant it was about time for me to head over to the library.

After drying off using the remnants of Spiritual Power that didn’t get drained from my training (I channeled my control over water to evaporate the water clinging to me), I donned my brown pants, white long-sleeved shirt, and leather boots. I grabbed the bag of pills, popped another pill into my mouth, and walked back into Nevaria.

Since I was hungry, I bought something to eat while on my way to the library. It was just a simple sandwich. That said, the combination of meats, cheese, and grilled vegetables did wonders for my stomach. I also drank a small flask filled with ale. Even if I wasn’t much of a drinker, I needed something to help make the food go down.

“You’re finally here,” Ms. Nadine said just as I entered the library. She was standing near the entrance with her hands on her hips. Looking behind her, I could see there were already quite a few people sitting around tables as they read books or studied.

“I’m not late, am I?” I asked.

Ms. Nadine shook her head. “You’re not, but you usually arrive early. I thought you might have overslept again.”

“That’s… well, I suppose I can’t blame you for thinking that.” I tugged on the leather band keeping my hair in place.

“Hmph. I’ll leave you in charge of closing. Do make sure that everything is boarded up properly when you leave.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ms. Nadine gave me a strange look like I had said something weird, but then shook her head and quietly left.

I worked quietly for the next several hours or so. Time passed by slowly while I was putting books away, cleaning the shelves and floor, and helping people find books they were searching for. I believed the reason time felt like it was crawling at a snail’s pace was partly because I was busy thinking about the next few stages of my plan to get stronger. Once I gained control over my Spiritual Power, the next step would be acquiring physical strength. For that, I would need those weighted clothes the seamstress was planning to make me. I’d also need to buy more ingredients.

“Whoa, who is that?!” a young voice shouted in surprise, causing me to pause in my work before resuming.

“You don’t know who that is?” asked another voice, this one sounding incredulous. “That’s Kari Astralia.”

“She’s Princess Kari? I’ve never seen her in person before. She’s even more beautiful than people say,” the other voice respond, his tone one of reverent awe.

“Hmph! Don’t get your hopes up. That girl isn’t someone people of low social standing like you and me can talk to.”

“I know, but there’s nothing wrong with looking.”

Their words finally broke my ability to concentrate. I first glanced over at the table where two young men were chatting as they gazed at something currently outside my field of vision. They were young, probably younger than me. Judging by their threadbare clothes, which weren’t all that dissimilar to my own, I assumed they were peasants like myself.

After taking note of the two, I turned my head to find Kari standing in the library entrance. A deep blue cloak had been thrown over her shoulders that day. They contrasted with the light pink dress she wore, which descended past her knees and swished around her legs as she moved. She wore the same sandals as always.

She must have sensed my eyes on her. Kari turned her head in my direction. When we made eye-contact, I gave her a smile and waved my hand in greeting. The bright greeting she gave me caused a pleasant warmth to spread through my chest.

That said, it didn’t make me popular with the two peasants.

“Who is this person? Do you think she knows Princess Kari?”

“He. That person is actually a boy. And how could he? Look at those clothes. He’s just a peasant like us.”

“I’m shocked! I had no idea that person was a boy! I always thought he was a girl! A-ahem. Either way, someone of his standing shouldn’t dare speak to a lady of Princess Kari’s stature! People like him need to learn their place!”

“I agree.”

Ignoring the peanut gallery (though my eyes did twitch when I got mistaken for a girl again), I walked over to where the still smiling Kari was waiting. I left a space of about half a meter between us.

“Hey there,” I greeted. “Have you come to return a book, or are you looking for something new to read?”

“Something new,” Kari said with a gesture of her hand. “If possible, I would like an adventure story that involves exploring dungeons and ruins.”

“Dungeons and ruins…” I tilted my head in thought for a moment, recalling all the books we currently had in the library. It was harder than it sounded. Sometimes I would think of a title, only to remember it was actually a book from mine and Kari’s library at the Brave Vesperia Headquarters. However, I did eventually remember something. “I do recall reading a journal about a former Emperor of Nevaria who explored a ruin in the Demon Beast Mountain Range when he was younger.”

“That sounds like a great read!” Kari clapped her hands together once, clasped them, and beamed at me.

“Let me grab it for you,” I said.

The book was located on the first floor. Ignoring the two young men glaring holes into my head like they wanted to kill me, I let my memory guide me toward where I remembered seeing the book. Kari followed behind me, hands behind her back, and a smile on her face. That smile became several decibels brighter when I handed her the journal in question.

“It’s so old,” Kari exclaimed in surprise. Indeed, the journal was old. The leather bindings were faded and worn, and the pages had a yellowness that happened when parchment aged. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, her eyes shone like a pair of stars twinkling in the night sky.

“It is a couple thousand years old,” I said. “According to the first journal entry, this Emperor was alive before the Great Catastrophe.”

“Really…?” Kari mumbled as she flipped open to the first page. It looked like she was about to begin reading it right there in the isle.

Chuckling just a bit, I placed my hands on her shoulders, turned her around, and gently pushed her toward the stairs.

“Why don’t you sit down before becoming engrossed in that book,” I suggested with a faint smile.

Kari blushed. I had to admit the sight of her cheeks turning pink was alluring enough to steal my breath from me. Not only had her cheeks gained color, but even the tips of her ears were a little red.

I’d never seen Kari act this shy in my previous life, so it was a rather fetching sight.

“R-right. I’ll just be upstairs then.” She paused, and then, in a hesitant tone, asked, “Will you come up after you finish your duties?”

“Of course,” I replied. “I have to know what you think once you’re done reading.”

Offering me one last smile, Kari ushered herself up the stairs. I listened to the sound of her footsteps before they disappeared. Then I went back to work.

Several people came and went while I worked. A few people came up to me, asking me to locate this or that book. Ms. Nadine’s library had a no check out policy. Of course, most libraries had policies like that in Nevaria. This place wasn’t Midgard. That said, this library was also only one of four public libraries in the entire city-state.

Nevaria was shaped like a slightly misshapen circle surrounded by a gigantic wall. It was split into north, south, east, and west, with the Imperial Royal Palace sitting in the center and four roads stretching out from it. The libraries were all located in one of those sections. Ms. Nadine’s was located in the north.

Once I finished my work for the day, I headed up the stairs, where I found Kari, not reading the book as she anxiously looked toward the stairs. Her eyes brightened the moment I arrived.

“It took you a long time to finish your tasks today,” Kari said as I walked over and sat down.

“I’m a bit sore today. It slowed me down,” I admitted with a slight shrug.

“Sore? What have you been doing?” she asked.

“Just some spiritual exercises.”

I tried to sound nonchalant, but the moment I mentioned spiritual exercises, Kari began interrogating me.

“Does that mean you are a Spiritualist? How come you don’t go to the Spiritualist Academy? You know they accept people regardless of social status, right? How far along are you in your training?”

Under this bombardment from the insanely curious beauty, who seemed to have completely forgotten her social etiquette and was right in my face, I could do nothing more than raise my hands and laugh.

“Settle down. I can’t answer any of your questions if you keep asking me more without giving me a chance to speak.”

“Oh!” Kari blushed again and, seemingly remembering her manners, leaned back and placed her hands on her lap. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot myself.”

“It’s fine.” I graced her with a smile. “I don’t mind. Anyway, you wanted to know about my training, right?” As she nodded, I scratched my chin and pondered what I should tell her, or rather, how much I should tell her. “I wouldn’t really call myself a Spiritualist right now. The fact is I can barely control my Spiritual Power. It’s a bit too… unruly at the moment.”

“Unruly?” she asked with a curious tilt of her head.

I nodded. “I have quite a bit of Spiritual Power. I don’t know where I’d be if you were to rank me, but I know that I currently have too much to control. Right now my spiritual exercises are mostly activities that will help me refine my ability to control my Spiritual Power.”

“I’ve heard of that happening before.” Kari’s expression contained a mixture of seriousness and fascination as she spoke. “There have been a number of people whose Spiritual Power is so great they have difficulty controlling it and need to train really hard. My mother was that way.”

“Hilda Astralia?” I asked and received a nod in return. “I’m not surprised. I heard she was a peasant who rose to prominence thanks to her incredible powers and natural charisma. She won the Grand Spiritualist Tournament thirty years ago and became Nevaria’s Empress after defeating the previous Emperor in single combat.”

“Yes. That’s Mother all right. She is a great woman.” There was a lot of pride in Kari’s tone, but there was also a very distinctive “but” that she didn’t say out loud. I knew she didn’t want to talk about that, so I decided to ignore it for now.

“How much of that have you finished?” I gestured toward the journal.

Tucking a stray strand of gold hair behind her ears, Kari said, “About 60 pages.”

“That’s impressive, and what are your thoughts so far?”

Kari didn’t speak at first. Her brow furrowed as she gathered her thoughts and composed the words she wanted to say. I looked at the way she gently bit her lower lip. It was a very cute gesture.

“The ruins sound very interesting,” she said at last. “According to this journal, he said these ruins were located deep within the Demon Beast Mountain Range, and that he had to fight against an A-rank Demon Beast before entering. Given how powerful a Demon Beast of that ranking is, Emperor Bodolf must have been incredibly strong. Even my mother would have trouble contending with an A-rank Demon Beast on her own.”

I didn’t dispute her words, though I also didn’t say anything. Back when she and I founded the Brave Vesperia Sect, Kari and I were both capable of taking down A-rank Demon Beasts individually. The two of us had even taken down an S-rank one together. Of course, I’d also fought against the Great Overlord of the Seventh Plane’s enslaved Demon Beasts, each of which were S-rank if not SS-rank… but that was only after several decades of murderously difficult training.

“What really interests me is what he said the ruins were like,” I said.

Nodding emphatically, Kari agreed. “I didn’t get very far in, but it sounds like the ruins were littered with traps and even more Demon Beasts, who had invaded it and made the interior their nest. I’m surprised he made it out alive.” She looked at the book and sighed after another moment. “I wish I could go out and explore some ruins.”

“Then why don’t we?” I asked.

“What?” Kari looked startled.

“Why don’t we find some ruins to explore some time?” I said.

“But… I mean, I can’t… I’m…”

“The Princess of Nevaria,” I said as the girl trailed off into incoherent stutters. “I know, but I don’t really care.” I grinned at seeing her flabbergasted expression. I’d never seen it before, but I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t drawn to it. “If you asked me to, I would gladly sneak out of Nevaria and head into the Demon Beast Mountain Range with you right now.”

I couldn’t recall ever seeing Kari turn this red before. A blush brighter than even the Sun sprang onto her pale face like someone had used an Spiritual Fire Technique to burn her face from the inside. For some reason, seeing her look so flustered made me want to tease her more.

“Oh… well, that’s… I mean… uh… uh… oh! L-look at the time. I really should be going. My parents are expecting me home early. Bye.”

Before I could say anything to stop her, Kari had stood up from her seat and bolted down the stairs. I watched her go, listened to the loud thumping of her footsteps, and remained sitting even after those faded away.

“That was new.”

The Kari that I had known from my previous life never got embarrassed like that. For a moment, I wondered if maybe this Kari was different from the one I knew, but then I shook my head. Everything else about her was the same. I didn’t doubt that this Kari was also the one I had known back then. Perhaps the one who had changed wasn’t her but me.

“I don’t think I ever teased her back then,” I said to myself.

Back then, when she and I fled Nevaria during the Demon Beast Invasion, I had relied on her strength to survive. I would have died a thousand times over without her. During that time, I had grown to not only love her even more, but I respected and admired her as well. The old me would have never teased her. This was especially true before Nevaria had been destroyed. Back then I had been intimidated by her social status, which kept me from confessing my feelings until it was too late.

Things were a little different now, I guess. I wasn’t strong yet, but I had the potential to be strong, and not only did I possess knowledge about the future, I also had knowledge of Kari herself. Right now, Kari was just a girl who had yet to become a woman. I believed the reason I could tease her was because I saw this Kari as more of an equal than a figure to admire or an untouchable princess. She was within reach to me.

“Still, I think I might have come on too strong,” I sighed.

The next time she and I saw each other, I would apologize for acting out like that.

***

Kari didn’t know quite how long or how far she ran. By the time she stopped running, she was far from the library. She couldn’t even see it anymore.

Placing a hand against her chest, she felt her rapidly beating heart, which pounded against her rib cage as though trying to break free. She’d never felt this way before. How could a few simple words from Eryk make her feel so embarrassed? What’s more, why did the idea of being embarrassed by him not bother her like she felt it should have?

More than that, his words had not only embarrassed her, but they made her happy. Even if he was just joking, hearing him say he’d go into the Demon Beast Mountain Range if only she asked him made her want to take him up on that offer. However, that just caused her to feel even more embarrassed, which created something of a vicious cycle within her.

What’s happening to me?

Asking this question deep in her heart, Kari set off toward her home.

Her heart calmed down as she walked. Guilt settled in her stomach as she remembered how she had run away like that. However, she didn’t think she could deal with Eryk right now given the current state of her emotions. She decided that she would apologize the next time she saw him, though she didn’t know when she’d be able to face him without blushing.