Darkest Before Dawn - 131

Chapter 131

People say that times fly when you’re having a good time.

Kazuki had found that time flew no matter what, really. Sure, it might seem like it went slower when you were having a bad time, but after the fact? After all was said and done, you would look back and realize that time flew then too. Because looking back felt like that, like any amount of time was less than it seemed when it was actually happening.

He’d spent years hiding away in his room, he’d spent years holed up in juvie, and yet… looking back, it almost seemed like less. It all blended together in an amalgam of bad memories, but the time? The time didn’t feel like too long, in a way. It almost felt like it was all a matter of weeks, maybe months. It was odd, but that’s how it looked in his mind.

Didn’t make them any less awful, to be sure, but the perception of the passage of time itself did change.

What brought to his attention this was the fact that the training trip had reached its final day. It was certainly something he’d slot in the “good time” section, of course, but his mind liked to go on depressive tangents whenever possible. With that said though, he didn’t think he’d miss the training trip as much as he knew he would when he was first told about it. ‘Who would have thought?’ he wondered wryly, because he had definitely not been looking forward to the thing.

He would be thanking everyone at UA again for allowing him to take it a little easier those days, that was for sure. He knew it wouldn’t have been half as good as it was if he’d had to push himself more. He’d seen what that did to his friends and he was sure he’d have broken down somehow if he had to do the same. As it was, Kazuki found himself rested, relaxed, almost ready to tackle what came afterwards.

And in between all that, he’d made a friend too, even if he was an odd one.

That wasn’t anything new, to be honest.

“So, you’ll be learning piano in the end?” he asked and Kota kept his head firmly looking down. There was no hiding the mess of sadness, hurt and disappointment, however. “That’s neat. Maybe we can play together whenever we meet again.”

“And when would that be?” Kota asked back, a flicker of anger coming through his thread of emotion. The kid was trying really hard to keep it together though, Kazuki noticed. He was just sulking there, looking down at the homework he was pretty sure was finished already and trying to appear fine.

“Well, I don’t know, but we could meet,” Kazuki answered with a shrug. Fortunately, he already had an idea that could help with that, otherwise he’d have been pretty despondent himself. “How about this?” he started, leaning back and stretching his neck a little. “I’ll give my number to your aunt and you can call me whenever you want. Maybe we can organize a meeting in person that way and we’ll be able to talk if you want.”

“... Really?” Kota asked, finally looking up. There was a frown on his face and a half glare in his eyes, but Kazuki could see the bundle of negativity shifting into something more… hopeful, or so he assumed. He couldn’t pick up the actual hope, of course, but there was a more painful tinge to it that made him think of hope, the hope that hurt because you didn’t dare believing it.

“Really,” he said with a grin. “You thought you’d get rid of me that easily?” he added, flicking Kota’s cap off his head as he’d started doing to annoy the little guy. For once, that only garnered him a grunt, but the kid kept his focus on him. “What do you say? You wanna keep in touch?” he offered a little more softly, a little more warmly.

“... Yeah,” was the fragile, vulnerable response he got and Kazuki grinned even wider. “And don’t knock off my cap, idiot,” the kid added, leaning down to pick the item up, but Kazuki could tell that he was only half as annoyed as he pretended to be.

“No promises,” he replied and the boy let out what was “definitely” not a whine. “I’ll be sure to have the jellyfish Grimm ready to show off whenever we meet, yeah?” he added and Kota hummed once more looking down at his homework. His emotions had calmed down plenty though, so Kazuki thought that was a win if he’d ever seen one. “I’m gonna miss you too, kid,” he said, turning to his own notes with a sad smile.

How the entire thing had happened was something he wasn’t sure about, but the fact was that he’d befriended Kota. The kid had managed to worm his way into his heart somehow, the same way that his friends had. Now though, for the first time, he had to let go of a friendship, there’d be distance and plenty of other problems that he didn’t have with anyone else.

There was Hina, of course, but that was an entirely different relationship, really.

“Who said anything about missing you?” Kota asked and he feigned being deeply hurt by the question. He knew the kid was just being shy, of course, but still. That seemed to make the boy backpedal a little. “But I guess we can meet if you miss me,” he added, suddenly acting like an absolute tsundere. It was adorable.

“You need to express yourself better, kid, or you won’t make any friends,” Kazuki told him with a grin. “We’re friends, aren’t we? There’s no shame in missing friends, I don’t think,” he commented and he was a little taken aback by the emotions in Kota shifting suddenly. He almost seemed… surprised, but he settled down a moment later.

“... I guess I will miss you,” he mumbled, low enough that Kazuki almost didn’t hear him. “Only a little though.”

Well, that was still progress, he guessed.

Baby steps.

[}-o-{]

“Still have no idea what that is?” Aizawa asked and Kazuki shook his head.

“No, but it came back,” Kazuki answered, a little mystified. “So… I’m guessing it’s not impossible to look for,” he commented slowly, a little hopeful and a little nervous, even if he had no idea why the second was a thing.

It was another training session and it was another moment in which he had the strange, still unexplained, boost in his control. It was a lesser one compared to the first time, but it’d still allowed him to go over his limit by one. It wouldn’t last, just like it hadn’t back then, but Kazuki was more than happy to see that it wasn’t a one time thing.

If only he could figure out what it was so that he could try to actively recreate it though, that’d be great.

Still though, the zen state, or whatever one wanted to call it, had to be a mental thing, right? That was what they were assuming after Kazuki talked things out with Aizawa, Vlad King and the Cats. Knowing that – or assuming that – didn’t really help them be any closer, really, but it did at least narrow down what they needed to do. Or, what he needed to do.

Since the training trip was ending, Kazuki wasn’t really going to add it to his time there, but the idea was to try and get him to do meditation and other mental exercises. Not like he was a stranger to those, but there was the hope that they would work better for him then than they had back when he’d tried them out. Considering he had delved into that when he was in juvie and his mental state had been very different back then, he could imagine it could go differently then.

Or, at least, that was the hope.

Kazuki tried not to get his hopes up too much in general, but recent times had seen him become more vulnerable to that sort of thing. The fact that his most recent disappointment, the change in the school trip, had turned out to be… not so terrible, had somewhat mended the damage it had done to his ability to expect good things. In general, after all, the difference between before and after his juvie release was basically like night and day. So, he expected to have an easier time meditating and all that kind of stuff.

It’d be a lot easier to do that at home too, considering Kazuki had gathered all sorts of things that’d help. He had his plant spot on the balcony, he had his fish tank and he had music that he liked, or he could even play some himself. One of those was bound to help him mentally achieve… whatever it was that he was setting out to do, he supposed.

And if they didn’t, at least he wouldn’t have a miserable time as he remembered when he tried to meditate in juvie.

“You seem to be doing well,” Aizawa commented, standing beside him instead of at the edge of the clearing for once. “Your control is good, of course, you’ve progressed well considering that you’re taking it easy…” he pointed out, but Kazuki noticed that he wasn’t done there at the end. He had more to say and sure enough… “And you seem more… relaxed, more at ease.”

“That was the point, wasn’t it?” he commented with a calm smile on his face as he controlled his different Grimm. He’d decided to do something  a little different and make one of each… and he found that controlling that was a little more challenging than having the same number of the same Grimm, or even of two kinds of Grimm. It wasn’t a surprise, not really, but it was a little annoying.

They were very different from each other though, which was what made it not unexpected. All Grimm were as different in their “minds”, if they truly had one, as they were physically. The little instincts and “voices” at the back of Kazuki’s mind varied depending on them, so having a bunch of different Grimm made it a cacophony that he didn’t appreciate… at all.

“It was,” Aizawa answered with a nod. “We were afraid it wouldn’t be enough, especially since you didn’t ask for nearly as much time off while here,” the man continued and Kazuki blinked. He thought he’d asked for plenty, but evidently he’d been wrong. “And you put plenty of effort when you were training.” Again, that came as a bit of a surprise for him, if less of one.

He had put effort during his training sessions, or at least the ones that were supervised. He didn’t want to waste anyone’s time, after all. Furthermore, the Cats wouldn’t be around at UA, so he wanted to try and get the benefits of the camp without burning himself out too much. Maybe he’d overdone it a little, but it was a little late to think that, he supposed.

“Thanks,” was all he could think of saying after all that. At least, in regards to what he’d been told. “Still, if things get bad, at least I’ll know to cut myself some slack. I don’t need to train every day. That alone would give me several hours a week,” he commented with a shrug. “I’m sure someone will point it out to me if I’m slacking off too much,” he added. He was thinking of Inui, specifically, but his friends might do it too.

Besides, his friends were half the reason he was so motivated to train, so he didn’t see himself reaching that point anyway. There was always at least one of them going to train, so it made it easier for Kazuki to go. It was almost like a pseudo-hang out, really. Probably only worked that way for him, since he was the one with the skewed perception of social stuff, but still.

If it worked, it worked.

[}-o-{]

Seeing the forest, the mountains and the ponds – he’d learned those were ponds, too small to be lakes – from up in the air, in the sky – sort of – was an experience and a half. Kazuki so wished he could do stuff like that more often, but oh well. Quirk Laws were a bitch sometimes, not that he didn’t understand why they were a thing, but they limited so much harmless Quirk usage too that it was… a little sad, really.

Alas, he had to make do with what little time he had to do whatever he wanted.

So, he flew free with a Fledgling Nevermore, looking over the entire expanse of the area. Or, at least, the area that he could cover with his range and the sight of his creation. It was still a lot though, barely restrictive at all, especially when there was so much to see and it felt like a whole new world with every batting of the Grimm’s wings.

Kazuki’s real eyes remained closed, his breathing even. He wouldn’t call what he was doing meditation, but it certainly felt like so when he focused back on his body instead of “possessing” the Grimm. Maybe that’d help him when he actually got to that, but he wasn’t even going to pretend that was the goal of what he was doing.

He was just trying to use the opportunity he had to the best of his ability on the last day they were going to be there. Maybe he could get a trip there on a break if he played his cards right though. He was Kota’s friend, after all, and Shino had been more than nice to him as the days passed. So, he thought he could be counted as a family friend of sorts.

Surely they’d allow him to visit, right? And once he started getting some money, like with the movie jig and maybe through Pharos, if things went well… He wouldn’t even need to be a leech, which was his biggest hang up on that front. Surely he’d get another chance to visit the place and just enjoy some sightseeing and some relaxing.

Without entire classes exhausting and frustrating themselves, Kazuki was sure the place would be a delight.

No people anywhere near his range, just him and nature. Well, and whoever accompanied him, probably Kota and Shino at a minimum, but that’d barely matter. What were a handful of people compared to a city? And besides, Kota was starting to chill out and the rest of the Cats weren’t sources of a lot of negativity most of the time, so Kazuki imagined a vacation spent with them would be as relaxing a time as he could get without being literally alone in the middle of nowhere.

The stuff he’d dreamed about more than once, truly.

So, Kazuki was looking forward to maybe being able to organize that.

“Kazuki, food,” Kyoka reminded him, poking his arm with her earjack. He tried really hard not to sigh and deflate… but he failed. “Sorry,” the girl said and she felt sorry, but that was hardly her fault. So, he had to do something about it.

“Nothing for you to be sorry about,” he waved off, turning his attention to the table, where their food had been arranged. Fortunately, he hadn’t had to help this time, which was why he’d taken the time to go fly around. At least, in a way. “Oh, looks good,” he commented and he heard a distant thanks from the people that had helped prepare the food that day.

As he got himself a serving, a corner of his mind was getting the Baby Grimm to fly back to him, just in case. No need to leave it freeroaming. Not when there was a chance that it could cause problems, no matter how unlikely that might be. Better to be safe than sorry and all that.

“So, did I miss anything?” he asked, trying to get himself back into the roll of things.

Apparently, a side effect of “possessing” – he still didn’t know if he liked that name for the ability – Grimm, was that it left him feeling out of sorts afterwards when he focused back on himself. Almost like his muscle memory got overwritten and he half expected to have wings and stuff like that. There was also positioning and surroundings to take into account too, so it was overall a weird experience. Not bad, but certainly a little off putting until he shrugged it off, which usually took about a minute or so.

“Not much, just people being relieved that this is over,” Momo answered and he refrained from commenting on that. Because, despite the lingering disappointment that it wasn’t the trip he’d been promised, Kazuki thought that week was one of the best he’d had so far. It was almost like he’d left the rest of his life behind. There was no Black Rampage following him around like a shadow, there was no job, no reporters, no people around him that he had to wonder if they were talking about him or not.

It was nice.

“Personally, I thought it was… not that bad,” Momo continued and he couldn’t hold back the smile on his face. That seemed to encourage her to say more, if the way she perked up a bit was any indication. “I progressed a lot and the forest was nice. We also got some time to ourselves too, which was nice.”

“Not nearly enough time,” Toru grumbled, and he could imagine her pouting a little. Or, at least, a silhouette of her. Not for the first time, he wished he knew what she actually looked like, but maybe one day soon he’d find out. She did say she was working on it.

“I mean, the schedule here was a lot better than my schedule back home, so I’ll take it,” Kazuki commented with a grin. He wasn’t joking at all though, but they didn’t need to know that. “I’m looking forward to having time to hang out again though,” he added and he was happy to feel his friends’ emotions settling, which he took to mean they were happy.

[}-o-{]

“Give me a call whenever you feel like, alright?” he told Kota, crouching in front of the kid and passing him a piece of paper with his number. “Don’t be shy.”

“I’m not shy,” the boy grumbled. He took the number, so Kazuki wasn’t worrying too much about it. “Won’t you be busy?”

“I might be,” he admitted with a nod. “But if I don’t answer, just shoot me a message and I’ll answer or call back whenever I can, alright?” he asked with a grin.

“Hm, I’ll see what I do,” Kota mumbled, but he wasn’t really looking at Kazuki.

“I guess you have better stuff to do than talk with the creepy old guy, huh?” Kazuki commented, although he only half meant that. He thought Kota liked him well enough, but he did know kids could be a little awkward about spending time with older people. Or was it the other way around? He wasn’t sure. Not like he had a lot of experience to pull from on that front.

The slight nerves and fear that appeared in Kota reassured him a little, funnily enough.

“Well, I’ll be waiting,” he finished with, patting the boy’s shoulder. Partly because he wanted to spare the poor guy some embarrassment in case he overcorrected and partly because the last of his classmates was already getting on the bus. Time was up, sadly, but maybe that didn’t have to be it. He really hoped Kota would give him a call, but he’d understand if he didn’t.

They had just known one another for a week.

Did it make him weird that he’d grown so attached to the kid in that time?

“See you around, Kota,” Kazuki said as he stood up and stretched his legs a little. “Don’t give your aunt too much trouble,” he added, patting his head – or his cap, really – and turning to go to the bus.

“I’ll call!” he heard when he had one foot on the steps and he turned to give the boy a smile and a wave.

“I’ll be waiting!”

“So adorable,” Mina said while he passed by her and he chuckled.

“The Monster Daddy thing isn’t even fun anymore,” Minoru commented, but the grin on his face contradicted his words a lot, really. “Feels like low hanging fruit, you know?”

To that, Kazuki just rolled his eyes.

From there, it was only a minute or two before they took off and he made sure to wave at Kota, grateful that he was on the right side of the bus and on the window seat. He had the feeling Minoru had wanted the aisle seat so that he could have that last goodbye, which was awfully nice of his friend. Not that he was surprised, but still, it was worth noting, at least as far as he was concerned, if only because his best friend really didn’t get enough credit most of the time.

After they were off and on the road again, Kazuki found himself… oddly subdued. He wasn’t sad, not really. He was a little sad for leaving the forest lodge and Kota behind, but he was looking forward to being back home just as much. He missed his calls with Hina, his meals with Nemuri and his meetings with the rest of Pharos, if he were honest. So, it’d be nice to go back.

“Can’t wait to be home and have internet, you know?” Minoru commented at some point and Kazuki chuckled.

“Don’t I know it, man. I missed most of the event. Maybe I can still get the important stuff,” he grumbled, checking with his phone to try and get to it as soon as he got a good enough signal once more. He wasn’t addicted to the gacha though. He was not.

He could stop whenever he wanted to.

“You have a problem, man.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kazuki replied immediately, maybe too quickly. All the same, he had to give up and open an offline game to pass the time while he waited. “Any plans for when you get home?” he asked, not looking up.

“Not really,” Minoru answered with a shrug. “Lying down in my own bed sounds like the best plan in the world right now, not gonna lie.”

“Hear, hear,” someone called from behind over a bunch of other conversations, Kazuki wasn’t really sure who.

“I guess that’s as good a plan as any. I gotta check on my fish tank and the plants and then I’ll get acquainted with my bed again,” he replied. Did it matter that they were going to arrive at around lunch? Not really, as far as he was concerned. The only thing that changed was that maybe he’d eat before dropping for a nap. Maybe.

There was mostly silence after that, with some idle conversations here and there to pass the time. There wasn’t much to do on the way back, obviously and they’d spent the whole week together, so there wasn’t much talk about either. Thus, for the most part, Kazuki just settled for watching out the window as they passed by forest and mountains.

Eventually, signal reached them, apparently, because his phone started vibrating with missed notifications.

With a grin, he pulled the phone and, to his credit, he didn’t immediately open the gacha. Because he wasn’t addicted. Instead, he checked his messages, where there were a bunch from Hina and Nemuri – idle updates, by the looks of it – and some “reports” from the Management Team. None of them were what got his attention though.

No, his eyes locked on the top-most message on the screen.

‘Distressed,’ he read, eyes widening. And that was nothing compared to how he looked when he read the actual message. ‘YOU’RE GONNA BE ATTACKED ON THE WAY BACK!’

“Aizawa!” he called immediately, feeling himself pale as he looked over the seats in front of him. Something in his voice must have been obvious, because he saw almost everyone stiffen and his teacher peeked back at him over the seats immediately. “I got a message! There’s-” That was as far as he got.

In a split second, there were many things happening in quick succession. The first was that he caught a flash of red from the corner of his eye. The second was the sight of a massive fist punching the side of the bus, looking like someone had taken one of those anatomy models showing the muscle under the skin and used a gigantified version. The third was a blur as the bus was sent flying and tumbling to the side.

And the last Kazuki caught, upside down and held by his seatbelt, was a flickering blue shine from somewhere ahead of the bus.

[} Chapter End {]

Hey guys! How’s it going?

Well, well, well, did you guys think the training trip would be safe? Did you think things would go well? Please, this is Kazuki. He can’t have nice things.

I actually debated with myself – or the Muse, if you believe my delusions – for a while if to have the training trip actually have nothing happening. Ultimately though, the choice was taken out of my hands and the bad guys decided that they wanted to be bad guys and also that they had a way around the absence of the spy. Tricky little shits.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the cliffhan-I mean, the chapter.

Yeah, that.

Discord Link: discord.gg/UTDransjJZ

Random Question: Who’s your least liked character of MHA and why is it Izuku?

See you.