I Want To Go Home - 32 - Final

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When the detachment from Lanara had arrived, the Elven and Dwarven generals at its front, we found out they had little patience regarding waiting for Ne’avo’s coronation. I had asked if they’d brought any high priests with them, only to get confused stares until they pointed out they expected me to do it. Thankfully, as a deity, it turned out I didn’t have to engage in any fancy ceremonies to invoke the gods. I just had to place a crown on her head and say that I recognised her as Queen of the Holy Kingdom.

But, if I was going to be doing any new fancy ceremonies (and the city was likely to remain safe, with an army defending it) then I had some invitations to make.

Remembering how to work the magic to travel between realms took a while, bouncing my memories off Uke’el’s knowledge of the arcane to slowly piece together the knowledge from my time as a proper goddess. Kel had listened intently the whole afternoon I’d spent sifting through my new memories, apparently finding the things I remembered about arcane theory from my life as a deity fascinating. Even if my recollections were still mildly incoherent without external aid.

By the next morning, though, I had managed to set up a magic circle to serve as a portal.

“It should be exciting to see your world,” Aara said, as I was finishing it up.

I blinked and turned to her. “Wait... you... you wanted to go?”

“Of course?” Sukura replied, standing behind her.

As were Ne’avo and Kel, who both seemed quite excited about the idea, with the way their eyes were sparkling. For her part, Uke’el was on my other side, having been helping me with my handwriting for some of the runes involved in the circle, but seemed rather less excited.

“A world without magic and only humans may not react the best to those of us who are not living humans,” she said.

A wave of disappointment washed over both Ne’avo and Aara. Sukura turned to offer them a bit of support, before Ne’avo’s eyes then lit up again.

“Wait! Emily! You said there were ‘movers’ in your world where people dressed as Elves and others they must have remembered from past lives here in Haquaria. Maybe we can claim to be actors in one of those?” she said.

“Uh, movies. And... well, that probably isn’t plausible, but LARPers or Cosplayers could work,” I said, after a bit of thought.

“You think it is wise?” Uké’el asked.

“Well, I’m also aiming for inside Kris and Lena’s apartment, so you guys can just hide out in there, if they think it’s a bad idea,” I replied.

“Going to another world and then hiding does not appeal to me, but... I suppose someone should stay to keep the generals from panicking while you and the uncrowned queen over there are out playing hooky either way,” Uke’él said.

“Thanks! It’s appreciated!” Ne’avo said, all smiles.

“It should just be a couple hours, honest,” I said, before starting the incantations to open the portal.

As I did so, Kel nervously asked if he was allowed to go without his mother. Reluctantly, she agreed, as long as he stayed close to one of us at all times. Sukura promised to watch him just before I finished the spell. The portal flashed open, revealing a somewhat wobbly view of the old living room, as if it were on the other side of a pool of water.

“I should probably go first,” I said.

The others did not argue, and so I stepped through.

Blinking in the shifted light, I realised it was early evening here in Oakville. The sun was shining in through the window, at that angle that meant we had to close the curtains if we wanted to watch the TV.

“That’s a confusing time change,” I muttered, before hearing a crash of something shattering behind me.

Spinning around, I found Lena standing there, staring at me with a broken mug at her feet.

“Ah! I’ll get a broom! Don’t move while you’re—oh! I’m wearing boots inside! Sorry!” I said, mind flipping awkwardly back to a more normal frame of reference.

“E—E-Emily?” she gasped.

“I’ll take the boots off right now,” I said, crouching down while still in a panic.

“You’re here. You’re really physically here,” Lena mumbled, staring down at me with her large and soft brown eyes.

“Oh. Uh... yeah,” I said, slowly realising what it was that had her so shocked.

My visiting in dreams was probably reassuring for everyone, but it wasn’t real the way physically showing up was. Lena went to walk forward, but did have the situational awareness to check for any shards of ceramic from the mug before placing her foot down. Having stepped over the debris, she then rushed over to pull me into a hug, mumbling slightly incoherent but happy sounding things into my shoulder. I returned the hug, happy to be properly back with her.

“So, uh,” came the voice of Ne’avo, as she stuck her head through the portal. “Is it safe for the rest of us, or...?”

Lena jumped at her voice slightly, then turned, staring at the sight of a Dark Elven woman sticking part way out of the wall, the portal so much less visible from this side.

“It should be?” I said, before turning back to Lena. “Um, some of the others wanted to see what Earth was like. I hope that’s ok?”

“She’s a... she’s an elf,” Lena mumbled, as Ne’avo stepped in. “A muscular elf. I didn’t know they came like that.”

A blush spread across her face that Ne’avo seemed to notice, and responded to by flexing.

“She used a magic potion to get those muscles,” I replied, wanting to keep her from going all full of herself on us.

“Magic potion or not... that’s a good look... is she, um... are you and—” Lena tried to ask.

“I’m one of Emily’s new girlfriends, yeah,” Ne’avo said with a grin.

“Oy! Move so the rest of us can get through!” Aara said, squeezing past her.

The half gnoll girl wasn’t the only one to enter the room at that point, Kris coming out to check what the shattering sound from early was. She froze, staring at the two new arrivals, then turned to spot me and Lena crouched mildly awkwardly where Lena had hugged me as I was taking off my boots.

“Emily? And... are those...”

I nodded.

“She’s a gnoll?” Kris asked.

“Half-gnoll,” Aara replied. “I’d have a proper snout and everything if I were a full gnoll, instead of basically being a fuzzy human with fangs.”

Before Kris could find anything else to say, Aara started pushing Ne’avo to make room for Sukura and Kel to come through. The fact that both of them were human surprised Kris and Lena, who had apparently gotten the impression that there weren’t any other humans in the other world.

Also, we’d had to explain that Kel was Uke’el’s son, and therefore sort of being adopted by the polycule now.

“Wait, his mum is undead?” Lena asked.

“Yes. But, like, she’s a good person. Necromancy was just the only way to get around the sickness that she had,” I explained.

“And... is she coming?” Kris asked.

“She doesn’t seem to trust what she’s heard about Earth,” I replied.

“I mean... fair,” Lena said. “Transphobia is bad enough, I don’t want to imagine what… zombie-phobia would be like.”

As Lena and Kris processed the new arrivals, I hurried off to find the broom. Then I cleaned up the shattered mug, smiling a little as I saw how well everyone was getting along. It was only as I tossed the shards of ceramic into the garbage under the kitchen sink that I noticed the time on the stove. I probably should have registered how late it was when I saw the sun shining in, and what that meant for my plans, but it was the clock announcing 7:15pm that really hammered it home.

“The buses’ll be a disaster this late,” I said, wandering back into the living room.

“The buses?” Kris asked, staring at me.

“I wanted to go swing by and invite my parents to the coronation too,” I explained.

“And you were going to take a bus with those wing—wait, coronation? You were invited to a coronation?” Kris asked.

“You made friends with royalty?” Lena asked, distracted from fawning over Ne’avo’s biceps.

“You seem to be making friends with her too,” I replied.

Lena blinked, then turned to look at Ne’avo. “… you?”

The Elven woman nodded. “Not that it’s very impressive when Emily is a literal goddess, though.”

Staring at her, Lena was taking a moment to process that. For my part, I blushed at the reminder, and the way both Kris and Lena turned to gave me a once over yet again. Staring back, I was struggling to find a way to dismiss it as no big deal when Kel provided a distraction.

“What is this strange dark rectangle?” he asked, pointing towards the tv.

The three of us realised the new arrivals needed to see what a tv was, but I let Lena and Kris handle it while I borrowed a phone to call my parents. It was too late to go get them, but not too late for them to drive over. They were living in Milton these days, and it was late enough after rush hour that it probably wouldn’t take too long for them to drive over.

Waiting for a phone to ring after so many months in another world was an odd sensation, but it also felt comfortingly familiar.

“Hello?” my mother’s voice asked.

“Mom, hey!” I said.

Only to get a gasp of surprise, and then a slightly muffled shout of my mum calling my father over to the phone. There was a click, and I suspected she’d switched to speaker phone. She loved doing that.

“You’re on the speaker now, dear… it’s really you?” she said, her voice slightly less clear due to the change over in phone modes.

“You’re alive?” Dad added.

“I am fine, I am alive, and I was hoping to invite you two both to a coronation,” I explained.

“A coronation?” my mother asked, sounding excited.

“Mhm. One of my new girlfriends turned out to be the last member of a royal family, and I thought you might like to attend the ceremony… I also thought it was earlier, though. Because time zones,” I replied.

“Time zones? I thought you said she was in a magical world?” my dad asked.

“That’s what she said,” mum replied.

“Yes? I… the planet was still round like the Earth. So there’s still time zones,” I explained, having not remembered at the time that poles technically don’t have time zones.

Still, I was operating on a rather different internal clock than Eastern Standard Time.

“Ah, I guess that makes sense,” my dad muttered. “Wait, you said one of your girlfriends is royalty?”

“Yes. She didn’t tell any of us, but she was cousins with the evil queen we were fighting, and, since we dealt with the evil queen she is now the rightful monarch,” I explained. “Lena and Kris will be going, and I thought you might also want to come along. Though I can’t promise it will be as fancy as you might be expecting. The Holy City was only just liberated.”

“Still, it sounds nice. I think we would be quite happy to come along. Just give us some time to get ready,” my mother replied. “See you soon, dear.”

“Love you. Bye,” I said, getting a goodbye from both of them as well.

Hanging up, I turned around to find that Kris had also pulled a laptop out, which everyone was crowding around. The four guests were fascinated, especially as they understood it was not magic behind the changing images being displayed.

Changing images of a pizza delivery website. They seemed to have gotten through most of the process, but Lena and Kris were having to explain what pop was. I insisted we get some root beer for everyone to try. And then a chocolate cake, even if it was a bit overpriced, it was the sort of thing that none of the folks from Haquaria had likely ever had.

-

In the end, the pizza beat my parents in arriving, though we were in the middle of eating it when they arrived. They’d both dressed in their very best formalwear, and were slightly thrown to find Ne’avo, the woman of the day, munching on a greasy pizza and downing some pop.

The formality of my parents’ outfits did make Lena and Kris realise they should put something fancier on.

That took a few minutes, but then they were ready. Which left the guests a bit sad that they were going to have to leave so soon. I promised them all that we would come back another time.

-

Staring out at the assembled crowd, mostly soldiers but with a few dignitaries present, I swallowed nervously before placing the laurel crown onto Ne’avo’s head.

“As a chosen of the moon and the stones, I, Vazehr, recognise you, Ne’avo Wenzaw Hyarst Aelvei as Queen of Garzot, first amongst all mortal monarchs,” I said, glad to have practiced my lines enough to get them right.

“On behalf of my people, I ask for blessings with your recognition,” Ne’avo replied.

“You have my blessings,” I said, not quite shaking how silly it all felt. It was just so formal. Still, I had my role, and so I turned to the crowd. “Hail to Ne’avo, New Queen of Garzot!”

The crowd rose, the assembled soldiers who dominated giving a mixture of gestures that were something like a salute.

“All hail Queen Ne’avo X!” the crowd called out.

I blinked, then whispered to Ne’avo: “Tenth?”

“There’s only, like, three acceptable female names for the royal family,” she whispered back.

With that, I led her down the steps from the throne, and we were flooded by generals and whatever nobility had managed to show up (often middle ranking officers who’d probably purchased their positions in the military).

It was hours before I got to speak to anyone I actually wanted to talk to.

-

Exhausted by all the pointless elbow rubbing, I’d found my way out to a quiet balcony away from the still present crowds. I was sure that it was late, but the sun was still circling the horizon at about the same height it ever reached up here. It felt deeply unnatural.

“Will you be purifying the temples soon then, Vazehr?” General Zan asked, having apparently not noticed I was trying to get a breather away from everyone.

Or not cared.

“No,” I said. “Not yet.”

The Dark Elven man blinked in surprise. “Why ever not?”

“Because Nemza wasn’t the only problem with this world,” I said, standing up from the railing I was leaning against. “I remember what was happening three thousand years ago, now. I can also see that the situation has not improved. If anything, it’s gotten worse… so, no. I’m not letting the other gods back until we’ve made some changes.”

General Zan stammered at a reply, but his words seemed to fail him.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some girlfriends I would like to spend some time with. In peace.”

With that, I stormed past him, heading towards the wing of the palace complex that I knew was designated as the royal household. Everyone but Ne’avo seemed to have managed to extract themselves and were gathered in one of the few dark rooms with still functional blinds. They were all rather fast asleep, exhaustion even leading Uké’el towards something close enough to sleep, her arm gently wrapped around Kel and Sukura both. Aara, Kris, and Lena had passed out in something of a cuddle pile not far from them.

I laid myself down in between both groups and stretched my wings out to serve as a gentle blanket to everyone. Then, feeling proper calm and peace for the first time in far too long, I fell asleep.