The Decimation of Men's Basketball (Part 1)

Lexi: Here you go boys, I’m sure you’ll show us how “real basketball is played” in the last Quarter of the game, haha.

Lexi gave the ball to Mark as the girls laughed. While the girls got ready for the 4th quarter, they  felt more confident than ever. The score after the first 3 quarters was 379-0. That already made it the highest scoring game in televised history, and there was still another quarter to go. What was more mind boggling than the high score for the girls was the inability of the men to score a single point in 36 minutes.

Mark was holding the ball with a completely desperate look on his face and his stomach started feeling extremely weak. He sure was regretting how this all started…

-Before-

Girls had only just started participating in sports 2 years ago in the nation of U.R.A.

Men have been playing basketball for about 3 decades already and had a fully fledged pro league for the best players after college. Unfortunately, there is currently no women’s pro league for basketball.

However, this was the first year for the National women’s College basketball league, and officials hoped to start a National pro league for women next year.

The story is that of the Basketball team at the Fenlo women’s college, which was ranked near the bottom of the women’s college league this past season. The girls were pretty bummed about their record for the season being 29 wins - 83 losses. The competition was extremely brutal, women from other colleges seemed to be far ahead of them.

The Dean of Fenlo college had a friend on the board of the National Men’s league, and thought maybe the girls could use a lesson from last year’s Men’s Pro League Champions, the Looters. The thought was that maybe some pros coming to help the girls with teamwork would help the Fenlo team be better next year.

The girl’s were not fond of this idea, they had studied men playing for their matches before, but they found it extremely underwhelming. They had better luck learning from watching women from other colleges play. Regardless, beggars can’t be choosers, so they’ll give it a chance.

Mark was the captain of the looters, and did not make a good first impression at all. 4 Men from the Looters entered the court where all the girls were waiting.

Mark: C’mon boys, let's teach these ladies how real basketball is played.

Hearing this comment immediately put most of the girl’s in a bad mood. They already had a bad season, and now they have to listen to these idiots.

The men and women greeted each other and it was time for the first lesson.

Lexi, the captain of the Fenlo women’s college team, interrupted Mark..

Lexi: Actually, we usually start practice by playing 1 v 1, I’m sure I could learn a lot from you if we played Mark.

Lexi smiled at Mark to look completely innocent and harmless. What she really wanted was to know if these Men were any good at all. As far as she could tell, the women she’s played against were a far tougher challenge.

Mark: Great idea Lexi, rest of you, please watch carefully and see if you can follow my techniques.

The girls were all well aware of what Lexi was trying to do, so they smirked and nodded while moving outside the court near the benches, followed by Mark’s 3 teammates.

Mark: First to 20 wins, you can have the ball first.

Lexi: Oh, thank you! What a gentleman, haha

As soon as the Half-court 1v1 game started, Lexi blew past Mark’s guard with a spin, and before he could even turn, the Ball had already left Lexi’s hand and was on his way to the basket.

Lexi: Woo! 2-0, we’ll play loser’s ball, here you go.

Lexi passed the ball to an embarrassed Mark.

Mark: Very good Lexi, now watch this.

The ball was checked and Mark began dribbling his way to Lexi, he wanted to do the same thing that she had done to him. He changed direction quickly trying to get past Lexi’s guard. As he got past her, he suddenly noticed he didn’t have the ball anymore. Before he could even realize it was stolen, Lexi had already stepped out to the 3 point line.

Lexi: Swoosh, Yeah! That’s 5, your ball again.

Mark started to look a little worried, as he heard the other girl’s started snickering and giggling from the side.

Unfortunately for Mark, the game ended not long after in under 2 minutes. Lexi made 20 points pretty fast while making sure Mark got no chance to score.

Lexi: You don’t have to go easy on me sir.

Mark (Embarrassed): Well.. you know… I just haven't warmed up.

They decided to let Mark play against one of the other girls on the team, Rebecca.

The results didn’t change, Rebecca beat Mark 20-0, again in under 2 minutes. A confused Mark decided to take a break and get his head straight, so Rebecca played one of Mark’s teammates, Ron. The results were even worse somehow, it took Rebecca just a little over a minute to 20-0 Ron as well.

Mark and the men were beyond confused, their brains were running wild.

Rebecca: Man you guys really suck. “The Looters”, more like the Losers. LOL.

Rebecca was more straight forward than Lexi, and bluntly said what every girl was thinking.

From watching them on TV and also the tapes they had studied, they knew they couldn’t learn anything from men. But they didn’t expect them to be THIS bad.

Mark took Rebecca’s insult to heart and fired back.

Mark: You know this is a team game, and you guys are one of the lowest ranking teams, so I’d show a little more respect, we are champions.

Lexi: We are a low ranking teams in the WOMEN'S college league, which, as far as I can tell, is a gazillion times tougher than the men’s pro league. I wonder how bad the Men’s College league is if the Pros are THIS bad? LOL

The girls all laughed as they heard their captain join in on the insults.

Mark(Frustrated): You bitches don’t know anything about teamwork, laugh and mock all you want, you will never be champions like us.

Lexi: There’s no need for that kind of language Mark…You know there’s an easy way to find out which team is better, we can just play each other.

Mark (Flustered): I don’t have my full team here, we don’t play without the whole group.

Lexi: That’s fine, we can set a date, Fenlo’s court is always available for us to use.

Mark looked at Lexi’s nonchalant face as she challenged him.  This made him angry, and he took the bait.

Mark: Fine!

The date for the match was set 2 days later. The news of the beef between the Fenlo Girl’s College team and The Looters spread like wildfire. Families of students all wanted to attend, and it even garnered national media attention. It’s not everyday you can go see the Pro league Champions play for free at the local college.

This was also the first time a match between men and women would be televised it seemed.

Fenlo stadium was packed to the brim. Mark and the Looters didn’t expect there to be a crowd. They were under the impression this would be a private game. Boy, were they in for hell of a night…

It was absolute domination for the Fenlo girls. They scored effortlessly several times a minute, and when the men got the ball, it was stolen or intercepted almost immediately.

The score after the first 3 quarters was 379-0. That already made it the highest scoring game in televised history, and there was still another quarter to go. What was more mind boggling than the high score for the girls was the inability of the men to score a single point in 36 minutes.

Lexi: Here you go boy’s, I’m sure you’ll show us how “real basketball is played” in the last Quarter of the game, haha.

She gave the ball to Mark as the girls laughed at her Remark. As they got ready for the 4th quarter, the girls felt more confident than ever.

Lexi: After our tough season, we really needed this girls.

Rebecca: Yea, it's kind of fun not having to try hard while completely shitting on these losers, I mean Looters LOL.

The girls couldn’t help but laugh as they looked over to the men. Men who seemed to be defeated already, some of them looked like they were crying LOL. They had looks of shame and despair painted on their faces, as the entire nation watched what would be the beginning of the end for Men’s basketball. The stadium audience members were trying to cover their mouths and hold back their laughter out of respect for the champions, but it was extremely hard seeing how idiotic they looked playing against the girls.

The 4rth quarter was the easiest by far as the men had basically given up all together.

The girl’s scored another whopping 264 points in 12 minutes with ease,. making the final score 643-0.

To score just 200 points in a game was thought to be impossible. But that was before, turns out that when women play against men, they blow past the record for highest points in a game by me (194). The women did that if you were only looking at the last freaking quarter of the game, and that too without letting the men score a single time. Most people just had their mouths open at the end out of sheer disbelief. What just happened was beyond words. The skill and speed disparity was unimaginable. It’s like the women were playing against toddlers, not pro players. And these women were not even considered a good college team? WTF?

The entire nation of U.R.A watched the decimation of Men’s Basketball that night. Over the next year, “the battle of the sexes” became a fad. Everyone wanted to see at what level girls were compared to boys. By the end of the year, it was established that Teams in the Men’s pro-league weren’t even comparable to the level of school girls.

A team in the Pro League was paid enormous amounts of money by the news media to play in a televised event against a middle school girl’s team. The middle school girls absolutely decimated one of the best Men’s teams in the nation, with the final score being 302-0. For the middle schoolers, it was the easiest game they had ever played, and felt bad about crushing the spirits of these “pro” players. The girls were respectful and bowed at the end, thanking the men for “going easy” on them.

The girls and everyoneelse could see the truth however, that the men tried as hard as they could and were completely obliterated by little girls less than half their size. In the end, all that money the men got paid was not worth the humiliation they endured in front of the entire country. But it did put the “Battle of the Sexes” fad to an end. There was no comparison to be made, in terms of skill and speed, if even middle schoolers could beat grown men 302-0. It was beyond perplexing. Girls existed in an entirely different stratosphere than men.

The women’s pro league was established that next year and became the only premier league to watch going forward.

The Men’s pro league still existed, but was considered a joke. You could see countless times more skill displayed by school girls than you would see in those men. The men mostly played in empty stadiums now. Some supportive girlfriends and wives would come to watch out of pity, but they ended up mostly trying to hide their laughter. It was kinda cute, the men pretending they were playing some important game even though they looked like children playing pretend compared to the women’s pro league.