83: Ridiculously New Ideas, No More Hiding

Sayaka patted her chest confidently and grinned, asking,

"Who wants some? I have the medicine right here."

"Even an elephant in heat would calm down instantly."

"The effects are absolutely guaranteed."

"That's veterinary medicine for animals!"

Asuka Kujos snapped back, her eyes filled with horror.

"Taking medicine always has side effects on the body."

"How about having Sora forge a custom chastity belt using superalloy?"

"One that's absolutely impossible to unlock without the key."

Martha proposed her idea with the sweetest, most innocent voice—while uttering the most terrifying suggestion.

"Martha, how could you be so heartless?!"

"Akira, look at your first love childhood friend—she's finally revealing her true manipulative nature!"

Asuka dramatically cried out for help to Akira.

"Martha-nee, don't turn evil!"

"Oh my! What did I just say?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot."

Martha scratched her head and put on an innocent, perfectly timed confused expression.

Martha is terrifying!

There's no way she forgot what she just said!

She's just messing with Asuka on purpose!

The other girls internally screamed as they watched this play out.

"Well, if you've forgotten, then I guess it's fine."

"Now, who still hasn't had their health check?"

"Just me and Chisato."

"Chisato-nee, let Sayaka-nee evaluate your mental state."

"Oh, right—Sora, you should also go with Tachibana for a physical exam."

"Sayaka-nee, what about everyone else?"

"Starting with your mother—Yuumi should be admitted to the hospital immediately."

"No more running back and forth."

"She should just stay and recover comfortably in our own hospital."

"Her condition is purely due to extreme physical weakness."

"On top of that, her body is aging year by year, and her menopause is arriving earlier than expected."

"Akira… I… I don't want to age… not this fast."

Everyone knew that once menopause hit, a woman's appearance would deteriorate rapidly.

Yuumi wasn't afraid of getting old. But she couldn't bear to watch herself aging while all the women around her remained as youthful and beautiful as ever.

Especially that homewrecker Leonora who stole her son.

For her, this was just too cruel.

Whenever she went out with her son, Leonora and Sayuri always looked like his older sisters.

Meanwhile, she—just one glance, and everyone knew she was Akira's mother.

That feeling was just... utterly devastating.

"Mom, don't panic. I understand how you women think."

"Jealousy over youth and beauty—it's just a part of a woman's nature."

"It's Leonora, Aunt Asuka, you, and Aunt Tsubaki putting too much pressure on you, isn't it?"

"Akira... you... you really understand me?!"

Suou Yumi couldn't hold back her tears, deeply moved.

"Which is exactly why I said long-term hospitalization is necessary."

"Even her daily meals need to be carefully prepared."

"Then I'll be hospitalized."

"Mm, Akira, I'll focus on recovering."

"As for Lady Managi…"

"Her anorexia is just way too extreme."

"I've never seen a case this severe."

"How picky is your tongue, seriously?!"

"You won't even drink regular water?"

"This is ridiculous!"

"The super-tasting gene is completely maxed out in you."

Amamiya Saya sighed, exasperated. This was the first time she had seen such a high-maintenance rich lady.

"I asked her earlier, and she only drinks two kinds of water."

"Either pure glacial meltwater from snowy mountains…"

"Or deep underground spring water."

"Don't be fooled by the fact that she's in a wheelchair and on an IV drip."

"Her body is actually way stronger than Lady Yumi's."

"The Nakiri family genes are insanely good."

"I once saw that old man known as the 'Demon King of Food' on TV."

"He literally flexed his shirt off."

"His body is healthier than most young people. He's got years left in him."

"Wait, Saya-neesan, if that's true, then wouldn't my great-grandfather and Master Katahara be able to live for decades more?"

Garuda's jaw dropped in shock.

"That's right! But now I'm curious—can men at that age still get a woman pregnant?"

Saya rubbed her chin, musing to herself.

"Saya-neesan, don't tell me… you're planning to drug my grandpa?"

"How did you know?!"

"Alice, you truly are my biggest fan!"

"You already understand me so well!"

Alice: ......

"Saya-neesan, for the love of God, please don't do anything crazy!"

Akira twitched at the sheer absurdity of this conversation.

"Of course, I wouldn't!"

"Those old men clearly have insanely high combat power."

"Just like your shifu."

"If one of them lost their temper and you failed to protect me… What if I got hacked to death?"

"My life comes first!"

"A genius like me dying young would be a tragedy for all of humanity."

Saya shamelessly declared, completely full of herself.

"Sigh! Old monsters who live this long all have crazy high combat power."

"Normal old men have their bodies deteriorate over time."

"Only martial arts practitioners can maintain their physical condition even in old age."

"It's not like we can even find someone to experiment on…"

"Actually, I think Garuda's great-grandfather would make a perfect research subject."

Akira muttered, still holding a grudge.

"Nope, nope! That old man is insane."

"I just want to do research, not die."

"Can you guys please stop discussing such dangerous topics?!"

Kujou Sakurako quickly dragged the conversation back to sanity.

"Anyway, back to the real issue—Lady Managi's anorexia is too severe."

"Current medical science can't produce nutrient solutions that fully sustain the human body."

"People still need to consume essential survival nutrients through their mouths."

"So her body, lacking proper nutrition for so long, has entered a self-induced hibernation mode to conserve energy."

"In other words, she can't even walk right now."

"But this is actually the body's self-defense mechanism."

"It's not that she's disabled or dying."

"In fact, with her current condition, she could live a long time!"

"As long as we can satisfy her taste buds, she'll be up and running in no time."

"Saya-neesan, but the reality is… We can't make food that satisfies my mother's taste buds."

"Even my grandfather couldn't do it."

"Then there's nothing I can do either."

"Lady Managi even throws up regular water."

"Even my exclusive handmade nutrient solution can only improve her condition a little."

"This is just how current technology is."

"Unless we make some groundbreaking advancement…"

"Like those sci-fi movie nutrient shots that fully replenish the human body with just one dose."

"This is the life of a rich lady!"

"She enjoyed all the best things when she was young."

"Now it's time for her to pay the price."

"Mom, Grandpa really spoiled you since you're his only daughter, huh?"

Nakiri Managi scratched her head with an awkward chuckle.

"Akira, after seeing Lady Managi today, I suddenly came up with a brand new idea."

"I have a feeling… If this research succeeds, it'll be a huge breakthrough for anorexia patients worldwide!"

"Saya-neesan… all I know is, every single one of your ideas is so absurd that normal people can't even comprehend them."

"Who said that?! This time, I swear, it's going to be a huge success!"

"I'm going to develop a new type of nutrient solution."

"Injected… through the backdoor."

PFFT!

Everyone at the scene simultaneously spat out whatever they were drinking.

"It will be directly absorbed through the small and large intestines, bypassing stomach acid breakdown."

"I mean, in a world with so many degenerates and certain… niche interests, the demand is definitely there."

"Most importantly, this is an untapped market with huge potential!"

"Akira, what do you think of my idea?"

"Ahaha! I… I have no idea."

"I don't really… understand that community."

"I have no opinion whatsoever."

Akira let out an awkward laugh, choosing to play dumb.

This was beyond ridiculous.

It wasn't just absurd.

It was absurdity opening the door to its own home and walking inside.

Would anyone actually use something this insane?!

He seriously doubted it.

"Akira! Don't play dumb!"

"Your father is literally gay. Don't tell me you don't understand this community?"

"Saya-neesan… how do you know that?!"

Akira's face immediately changed. He instinctively blurted out a question—

And the second the words left his mouth, he regretted everything.

Wasn't this basically a confession?!

"Cough, cough! Uncle Spencer is gay?"

"You've got to be kidding!"

"I never would've guessed!"

"That tall, sunny, proper English gentleman—a gay man?"

"He hid it way too well."

His childhood friends were all shocked and started chiming in with their disbelief.

They had seen Akira's father plenty of times but had never suspected that this perfect family man was actually into men.

"Saya-neesan, I'm curious—how exactly did you find out?"

"Because one night, Mr. Spencer came to my hospital for treatment."

"Guess he knew about our hospital's reputation for absolute discretion."

"The on-call doctor told me he had… an injury in his private area."

"Tachibana and the others know about it too."

Saya shrugged, looking completely unbothered as she dropped the bombshell.

Everyone: ......

"Aunt Sayuri is so pitiful!"

"Yeah! She got tricked into marriage by a gay man!"

"That's beyond tragic!"

"Akira and Eriri grew up in a completely fake family."

"We absolutely can't tell Eriri about this!"

"She'd have a breakdown!"

"Agreed."

"Akira, if Uncle Spencer is gay… what about you?"

"You didn't get influenced by him, did you?"

Ellie deliberately exaggerated her question, and suddenly, all his childhood friends nervously stared at him.

"Ellie, you did that on purpose, didn't you?!"

"I have this many childhood friends—do I really need to prove my orientation?!"

Akira was seething. How dare they suspect me?!

"I only found out about this a few days ago! And it was my mom who told me!"

"Listen, what if… Aunt Sayuri actually always knew about Uncle Spencer's orientation?"

"What if she married him on purpose?"

"Because Aunt Sayuri also has… unusual preferences?"

"They needed each other to form a perfect family while hiding their secrets."

Shichijo Sora rested her chin in her hand, spinning a wild theory.

"Think about it! The affection between Aunt Sayuri and Uncle Spencer doesn't feel fake."

"My parents act the same way—there's a quiet, genuine happiness in their interactions."

"If it's all an act, wouldn't it be too perfect?"

"Their marriage might be fake, but their bond is real."

"Sora, your theory actually makes a lot of sense."

"Akira, do you think Eriri could've been conceived through artificial insemination?"

"How the hell would I know?"

"When I was adopted, Eriri was already a few years old—she could walk by then!"

"And even if she was a test-tube baby, I'm sure Mom would've destroyed all the records."

Akira was sweating bullets internally but forced himself to stay calm and collected on the outside.

Three idiots put together really can outsmart a genius…

This whole group was turning into Sherlock Holmes!

And worst of all—

That night, he did remember seeing faint traces of blood.

Mom, you lying manipulator! You played it so well! I'm not letting this go!

"Aunt Sayuri is a lesbian?"

"That doesn't seem right."

"Would a lesbian adopt a boy?"

"That doesn't sound likely…"

"We've met Aunt Sayuri countless times since childhood."

"Her favorite thing to do was hug Akira and smother him with kisses."

"When we were kids, we even thought Akira was her biological son…"

"And that Eriri was the adopted one."

As everyone pieced together all their childhood memories—

Their gazes slowly but surely focused on Akira.

And with every second, those gazes became increasingly unsettling.

Until finally, all of them spoke in perfect unison—

"Pervert!"

PFFT!

"You guys call me a pervert, yet you had a massive one hiding in plain sight all along?"

Leonora burst into laughter, thoroughly enjoying this turn of events.

Finally! I'm not the only one getting judged anymore!

"Akira! You have to move in with me!"

"You absolutely cannot keep living with that pervert Sayuri!"

"This is way too dangerous!"

Suou Yumi was stunned at first, but then a flash of pure joy crossed her face.

She immediately demanded her son's relocation with a righteous expression.

"Mom, aren't you overthinking this a bit?"

"Even if Mom does have some weird psychological issues, I'm not young anymore."

"I'm not a pervert."

(That night, I was led into it…)

"Besides, Eriri lives there too."

"And anyway, I was always out and about growing up. If Mom missed me and smothered me with kisses when I came home, isn't that totally normal?"

"Sora-neesan, just because you are a pervert doesn't mean you should assume everyone else is too."

…Fair point.

The girls hesitated, feeling slightly convinced by Akira's argument.

After all, this was all just their speculation.

Sure, the possibility was high, but what if they were wrong and falsely accused Aunt Sayuri?

That would mean offending their future mother-in-law.

Not to mention—

Eriri was at home too.

There was no way she would tolerate something that insane, right?

"But still… we can't be careless. My mom is also a pervert."

"And she's first cousins with Aunt Sayuri."

"Why are all the Kujou family members so insane?!"

Ellie muttered in exasperation.

"Ellie, did you just insult yourself?"

"Don't forget—you're a Kujou too."

"I-I'm a half-blood!"

Ellie stammered, trying to justify herself.

"Alright, fine. Since we're being honest…"

"Actually—I am gay."

Kujou Asuka shrugged casually as if it was no big deal.

Since Ellie already called her a pervert, she figured there was no point in hiding it anymore.

Plus, it was the perfect opportunity to clear both her and Sayuri's names.

She needed to set the stage for the perfect opportunity Sayuri had planned for her.

Otherwise, with both of her daughters and these nosy childhood friends watching her like hawks, getting her hands on Akira was way too hard.

"As for Sayuri—she's been a hardcore fujoshi for decades."

"Does that satisfy you all?"

PFFT!

The childhood friends spat out whatever they were drinking again.

Their faces were full of disbelief.

"That explains everything!"

"Aunt Sayuri and Uncle Spencer's marriage was just because their interests matched perfectly!"

"Akira, you definitely knew about this, didn't you?"

"I was trying to save some face for my mom…"

"But Aunt Asuka just blurted it out."

Akira sighed, resigned to his fate.