EARLY ACCESS: Transition Regret & the Fascism of Endings
Added 2023-11-11 02:28:14 +0000 UTCI made this video to process my feelings about some health complications I’ve had since getting a gender-affirming surgery in 2021. I noticed most discussions of trans regret are simple tragedies, which don’t pave a path forward for the people experiencing it. That isn’t true to my experience, and I wanted to figure out what comes next.
Gradually, I expanded my scope to ask: “When we declare something has ended – like a life, or a crisis – what kind of suffering does that give us permission to ignore?”
I hope you like it. 💜
Comments
Aw, thank you! & Welcome!
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-18 15:25:34 +0000 UTCThank you so much for this video! This is what brought me to your patreon!
Chris Thalassa
2023-11-18 15:24:44 +0000 UTCLOL the bridezilla connection!! i love that
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-17 15:23:56 +0000 UTCthank you, Ash <3
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-17 15:23:26 +0000 UTCso cool, eh?! Felix is a new mutual of mine, he really is tremendously talented. Jonni seems to exclusively cast non-actors – and specifically, fellow animators – in her roles. i think it gives this great, naturalistic effect
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-17 15:23:10 +0000 UTCdoesn't come off as weird at all, very kind thank you :) and appreciate the heads-up about the editing mistake - might've missed that if you hadn't mentioned it
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-17 15:21:43 +0000 UTCthank you so much!! i didn't intend for the people in the background to mean anything, but you're not the only one to have that takeaway. it's been really lovely to see ppl find meaning in those unintentional bits :)
Lily Alexandre
2023-11-17 15:20:51 +0000 UTCFantastic video! I got bottom surgery in Thailand back in 2007 when I was 26, and I went through a similar kind of “what next” process for years. It seemed impossible that I could go through all the surreal challenges of surgery and struggle with mundane stuff like holding down a job. I think it’s actually pretty common for people to hope a big life transition can be a perfect experience and not really think about comes next. Just think about all those cis-het girls who turn into bridezillas :)
Alice
2023-11-14 22:11:37 +0000 UTCWow, I really needed this video right now. Thank you. I'm about to get my first gender-affirming surgery in a couple months and it's been hitting me how much I've been building my life around anticipation for it, without thinking about the afterwards. This was a beautiful reflection on what that "after" might be.
Liz Miller
2023-11-13 23:56:16 +0000 UTCI loved the autumnal setting. You even got a perfectly-directed squirrel! I lost my narrative to four major life events, and still search in the darkness for a story to tell myself. But what if I have no story? What happens next? Thank you, Lily. I hope you find comfort from your pain as you give comfort to others.
Ash Joubert
2023-11-12 10:03:57 +0000 UTCThat's quite a thumbnail, dang. Anyway, very interesting, and you caused me to pull up Barber Westchester on YouTube (and I'll be taking you up on your Nebula offer--I do want to hear the rest of that interview with Jonni Phillips in particular, and I'll explore what else is there), and as the film starts, the credits contained a big surprise. Among the voice actors--not the animators--is Felix Colgrave. If that name doesn't ring a bell for anyone, I can tell you he's a truly great animator from Australia. Check out his short The Elephant's Garden to see his vision of life, it's delightful. For him to pop up in the credits of Barber Westchester as a voice actor was very startling for me, I wonder what the story is there.
David Bennett
2023-11-11 17:55:00 +0000 UTCI don't often post comments out of fear of saying something stupid, but here goes: The first video I saw on your channel was "Fear of trans bodies", which was gobsmacking. I felt like a newborn baby who was learning _anything_ for the first time. Of course, I've felt this way about virtually all your videos, and this one was just the same. You're honestly so brilliant, and so are the folks in your videos and community. Uhh yeah hope that doesn't come off as weird! Here's to the continuation of all of our lives 🥂 P.S. Looks like there might be an editing mistake, the same segment is repeated at 35:10 and 35:33
biquinary
2023-11-11 15:28:22 +0000 UTCI love how you describe movies and media that helped u understand a certain feeling which i turn has helped me understand a certain feeling yet ironically the ending of this video has left me empty without meaning having to look for a new one. I'm currently at the beginning of hrt and I feel like my entire life has been telling myself such narratives, the last one being I just need to get on hormones and everything will make sense. Well spoiler alert it didnt and its a slow process and finding peace in that has been .. hard. So this video really sums up a lot I've been feeling or rather trying to learn lately thank you
Alyx✨
2023-11-11 11:34:55 +0000 UTCwow Lily you're on such a hot streak with videos this last year. i love the connections you drew here, and visually another top notch entry. i feel like the people popping in and out of the background in the park on the edit points is/is not a quiet connection to the point about life being a mess of overlapping people's narratives
W Y
2023-11-11 04:06:03 +0000 UTC
