Patreon Future

So the last post might be the end for that series, in fact i'm thinking about mixing up my practice pretty radically. Producing these as single social media works weekly is fun, but it isn't really pushing my practice forward. So i'm either going to begin work on producing more long-form content (gaming books) or at least reworking my illustration style so it has a little more depth and beauty, probably both. The pixel style is fun but i feel like it's at the end of it's life-cycle and i don't know where else to take it, especially as i'm moving away from the things it's good at (vibrancy, sexuality, vitality, fantasy) and towards quieter and more nuanced feelings.

I've also been contemplating shutting down this patreon. I've always had a slight problem / stubbornness with audiences. I would do a work in a specific style (often pixel art mock-up) and it would be become extremely popular and my reaction would be to immediately want to run in the other direction. 

Part of that might be my own psychology. But i think a big part of it is that when you start to cater to an audience it's easy to lose track of when to stop, and the art stops feeling like your own even as it gets more popular. Somewhere along the line you stop producing art and start producing content. I've been in that space, and my reaction since has been to stubbornly work on things that have been more personally gratifying but, except in bursts, more chronically unpopular. This is fine but, at the end of the day as an artist you're still trying to communicate with people, so when something doesn't resonate it's important to take note and make decisions. It's a difficult thing, balancing these feelings.

I think ultimately it pays off to not chase the dragon like that, in a long-term creative process. And i'm here for the long-term. But it has short-term costs. My patreon has gone from +$400 at it's peak to $250 and declining, my twitter is a similar story. Publishing short form stuff in this context basically feels pointless especially when it keeps me away from experimentation and more long form work that requires months if not years to produce.
But having month long gaps in a patreon feed almost feels against the terms of service. Patreon, in it's basic design, is made less to be a tool to support artists and more to be a content delivery service, like youtube.  That doesn't mean the support isn't there! (of course) but the invisible premise is the consistent and perpetual delivery of content, something that quite frankly doesn't match with an art process that needs to be messy, slow and reflective. 
In any case, for the time being i'm not going to shut down my patreon. There are threads of genuine connection and support here that I really appreciate, and that don't want to callously cut away. And also honestly because i could continue to use the money. 

I'm also not going to work on personal art any less, but, i think it's important to let you know that the format and frequency of posts here might change up. if I stop producing social media art to work on my sketch book for awhile the natural result of that is probably a decline to the frequency in which i post, stuff like that. I sort of need to feel permission to do that.
 
As some of you know in my personal life i began transitioning from male to female at the start of the year. This was a long time coming from me and has been a really positive step in my life. It's also... changed my art. It's freed up a lot of creative energy that was expended in keeping myself bare minimum functional and it's opened a really deep creative space for me to explore, as i can now connect more honestly with myself and my feelings. I'm really excited by this, and although i don't know what shape it will take, i just i hope i can continue to make wonderful things for you all. It's all I really want to do. 
But with these changes i'll understand if you want to move on, and either way thank you, deeply, for the support.

Much love,
August Lake Cartland (AlcopopStar)