Steve Notes Smackdown 7/23/21

Peacemaker starts Smackdown

HAHA there’s a VIC JOSEPH sign

I was so excited MITB that I had to crash Raw and answer questions like HOW DID I GET OUT OF FIREFLY FUNHOUSE? And how many calls did I have to make to chincheck roman reigns? I came back to challenge roman for the WWE Universal title. We are a few heartbeats away from Cena/Reigns face to face. Couldn’t think of a better place to do this than Cleveland. Big sports news today: I changed my middle name to Guardians, cuz WWE has no respect, cuz of Roman Reigns. I know there are hundreds of Reigns fans somewhere, but here’s the thing, they deserve to stand up and be heard. You all deserve to stand up and be heard. No more Thunderdome, we are live and in your face and there’s noise in this arena and that’s what you understand, Summerslam is not just a match for the title, it is a chance for all of us to stand up for what we believe in. (Hm?) What do you believe in? Who’s team are you on? Are you on team jorts? Are are you on team cargo pants? Team HLR? Team the fans always reject? Team Cena or Team Roman Reigns? Speaking of which, where the hell is he? I think he knows that he can’t see me. After SS, he’ll realize that the champ is here.

Cena tries to prompt Roman to come out. Nothing. Instead, Paul Heyman.

Heyman: You have it ALL wrong. Roman can’t see you? No, he can’t HEAR you, cuz you’re not worth him listening to. I give you my word tonight, you will get an answer to your challenge. WHEN, but only when Roman decides to come out and show you and everyone here live tonight that the TRIBAL CHIEF IS HERE! Heyman mocks Cena’s theme song walking to the back.

Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn

McAfee ribs Cole about calling a Blue THunder Bomb a Michinoku Driver

Balor hits CDG for three in a fun match

***

Balor holds up some HIGH too sweets after the match

HEY KAYLA in the fake ring, BARON CORBIN is in her interview

HOw much did you make from the crowd fund? HAHAH He says the guy who built the crowd fund site stole his identity. He had to ride the bus there. Why isn’t this in front of a crowd??? He says the bus smells like curdled cheese and gym socks. What’s happened to me?

Big E Promo:

Oh wow Big E’s new gear is IMMACULATE

You deserve it chants. Sunday was a night I’ll never forget. I was hurled through the air, I had grown men dive on me, I jumped off a ladder, when I made the final climb and grabbed that briefcase and earned that contract… APOLOOOOOOOO interrupts. Oh wow his tron is great.

APollo: Look at you! Congrats to you my guy! You shocked the ladder and you won a contract. Laughs. This is not the same thing as winning a championship like I did when I beat you for this championship at Mania--

Dolph and Roode interrupt.

Dolph: YOu wanna talk about the IC title, you better be talking about us.

Boogz interrupts with Nakamura, then Cesaro, brawl breaks out, guessing we’re getting a six man tag and maybe a ladder match at Summerslam?

Cesaro swings APollo.

No match.

Rolling Loud festival match, WALE HOSTS!!

Gable vs. Dawkins

Dawkins finishes with a spinebuster for 3

**

Bianca Belair comes out

Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Bianca wins with KOD

**

Owens backstage with Nox & Shotzi, tries to help them fix SHotzi’s tank. Corbin says sorry to KO about last week, says its a bad habit criticizing him. KO says yeah, you’ve been a jerk for 8 years. He points out that he has a stain on his shirt, Corbin says it’s a different shirt, but he got some canned spaghetti on it. He asks KO for some help, KO gives him $40, Corbin says thanks so much. Shotzi accidentally hits Corbin with the canon in the dick, Dolph and Ziggler come in and jack his money, KO runs them off with a chair.

Edge Promo

You know my history, you know how hard I fought to get THIS Back, all of you back. And if you watched MITB Sunday, you know I should be standing here Universal Champion, but I’m not, and there’s one reason why. Seth Rollins. I thought I had my bases covered, had the Mysterios watching my back for the Usos, if anything I thought you’d want me to win. Then I realized this is bigger than that, this goes back to 2014. You didn’t pull the trigger then cuz you never thought I’d be here. But now I am here. Seth you have no idea what kinda box of pain you have opened. I learned from the most evil minds in this business. I was in the Brood, in the Ministry of Darkness, you have no idea the depths I will sink to to get the job done. BUt you’re gonna find out. BURN IT DOWWWNNN!!

Seth Rollins comes out, did somebody say my name? It’s grandpa edge in the ring, talking about the man he used to be, he laughs obnoxiously

Edge says shutup, you’re embarrassing yourself. COme on down here, I promise I won’t put my hands on you.

Rollins says I know you are not as stupid as you look knowing what I am capable of doing to you. I was gonna come down here and tlak about how much I despise this city, how much I despise people like you and Cena who come back, jump the line, take opportunities from people like me who’ve earned those opportunities, how disgusted.. I was going to, but the more I thought I about it, the more I agree with these people, I am thrilled you are in my ring right now. You have been such a scumbag to me, and nothing would make me happier than to crush your dreams. TO be the man to put an end to your comeback story, if you keep pushing me, when they talk about the hall of fame career of edge, they’re gonna talk about the man who ended you, seth freaking rollins. Now I had the chance to end you before, seven years ago, but I hesitated and when I get that opportunity again, and when I have my boot on the back of your surgically repaired neck, I will not hesitate to pull the trigger. BANG! HAHAH!

Edge: Remember when I said I wouldn’t put my hands on you? I lied!

Edge hits edgecution after a throwdown, goes for Spear, Rollins gets out

Toni Storm vs. Zelina Vega

Pretty much by the numbers, but it’s awesome to see Storm on Smackdown, Zelina inadvertently grabs her belt off her waist, which allows TOni to get the win with STORM ONE goddamn that was a sick move.

Usos vs. Mysterios

Match is whatever, but MASSIVE botchfest to finish, Usos copy and paste their finish from MITB

Roman Reigns comes out after the match

CLEVELAND, ACKNOWLEDGE ME.

YOu there, sitting at home, acknowledge me.

You might as well. Everybody’s acknowledging me. JOhn Cena has acknowledged me. At MITB, on Raw, tonight, and Paul to be honest, I’ve wanted to acknowledge JOhn. Hollywood fooled me. THey put a new paint job on JOhn. I thought we’d get something new. But he put on a nostalgia act. Same music, same entrance, same outfit, same promo, same insults. If I wanted that, I’d search 2009, it’s like MISSIONARY POSITION EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And the tribal chief, we’re not interested in that. We don’t get motivated by that, inspired by that. So you’re right, I don’t see you, I have no desire to see you. And guess where we’re not gonna see you? In the main event at Sumemrslam. Cuz my answer to your challenge is no. FINN BALOR’s music hits. THE PRINXE Comes to the ring.

ROman: YOu’re here to acknowledge me?

Balor: I’m not here to acknowledge you. But if you’re not interested in Cena’s challenge, maybe you’re interested in mine. Roman laughs, crowd chants Roman’s scared, Roman says Challenge Accepted.